It is a big deal to know the rules about kids when parents do not live in the same house. If a mom and a dad live apart, they need to know what they can do. This helps keep things fair. It helps the kids. It helps stop big fights. You can watch our video about this. It tells you more.
Can a Dad Take a Child From a Mom if There is No Judge’s Paper?
Can a Parent Take a Child?: Yes, a dad can take his child from the mom. Or a mom can take her child from the dad. A parent can do this. But if there is no paper from a judge that says it is okay, it can cause big, big problems.
Risk of Big Problems: If you take a child and a judge did not say you can, you might get into trouble. The judge has rules. You need to follow the judge’s rules. If you do not follow them, you take a big chance. It is much better to be safe. It is better to follow the rules from the judge.
Things to Think On:
– Judge’s Paper: Is there a paper from a judge? Does it say who the child stays with?
– Child’s Good: Is the child safe and well with the other parent?
– Law Helper: Did you ask a law helper what to do first?
Bad Things That Can Happen:
– Judge is Not Happy: The judge can get very upset if you break the rules.
– Lose Time with Child: You might not get to see your child as much.
– Pay Money: The judge might make you pay money for breaking a rule.
Real Life Story: John took his boy from the boy’s mom. There was no judge’s paper saying he could. The judge got very upset with John. John got into trouble for not following the right way to do things.
What is a Judge’s Paper About Seeing Your Child?
The Judge’s Special Rule: A judge’s paper is a very strong rule. It tells when each parent can see their child. It says whose turn it is to have the child. It makes things clear. You can find out more about rules for child care on our web page.
You Must Follow It: Both the mom and the dad must follow this paper. It is not smart to do something else. Only change if the judge says it is okay. This paper helps the child see both parents. That is good if both parents are safe.
What the Paper Says:
– Days for Visits: It tells the days and times for each parent’s turn.
– Special Days: It often says who has the child on days like birthdays.
– School Off Days: It can say who has the child when there is no school.
Why This Paper is Good:
– Rules are Clear: Mom and Dad know what to do.
–Child Knows: Kids like to know what will happen next.
– Stops Fights: It can help parents fight less about who gets the child.
Real Life Story: Mary and Mike had a judge’s paper for their girl, Sara. The paper said Sara lives with Mary on school days. Sara visits Mike on the days off from school at the end of the week. They both did what the paper said. Sara felt good because she knew the plan.
What Bad Things Can Happen if You Do Not Follow the Judge’s Paper?
Breaking the Judge’s Rules: If you do not do what the judge’s paper says, bad things can happen. The judge thinks this is a very big deal. It means you did not listen to the judge. The judge can say you are in “contempt.” That means you did not obey.
Bad Names to Get: People might say you took a child when it was not your turn. Some call this “”parental kidnapping.”” That is a very bad name to have. It will make things hard for you later. You can learn about taking a child in this other video.
List of Bad Things:
– Contempt: This is a word for not obeying the judge.
– Money to Pay: The judge might make you pay a lot of money.
– Jail: If it is very bad, you could even go to jail for a short time.
Other Problems Too:
– Less Child Time: The judge might give you less time with your child.
– Judge Loses Trust: The judge might not trust you anymore. –
Future Trouble: It will be harder to ask the judge for help next time. Real Life Story: Peter did not bring his son back to the son’s mom on time. The judge’s paper said he should. The mom told the judge. The judge said Peter was in contempt. Peter had to pay money. He also got less time with his son for some weeks.
Can You Keep Your Child if the Other Parent is Not a Safe Parent?
When a Parent Worries: A mom or dad might think the other parent is not safe for their child. You might think, “”I must keep my child safe from them.”” This is a very hard thing to face. Keeping your child safe is your number one job.
If a Parent Becomes Not Safe: What if the other parent just now became not safe? If you think this has happened, you need to be very, very careful. You must talk to a law helper right away. Do not just keep the child. Ask a law helper what to do first.
What You Should Do First:
– Call a Law Helper: Get good advice from a law helper who knows these rules.
– Ask About the Rules: Find out if the law says you can keep the child then.
– File Papers with Judge: Your law helper might need to give papers to the judge very fast.
Things to Ask Yourself:
– Why Not Safe?: What makes you think the other parent is not safe for the child?
– Can You Show It?: Do you have a way to show the judge why they are not safe?
– Child’s Words: What does the child say, if the child is old enough to talk about it?
Real Life Story: Jane felt her boy was not safe with his dad. The dad started to act in ways that scared the boy. Jane called her law helper. The law helper told Jane to give papers to the judge fast. The papers asked the judge to change who the boy stays with.
What Does It Mean if a Parent is ‘Not Safe’?
Many Ways to be ‘Not Safe’: The words ‘not safe’ can mean many kinds of things. Think of a long line. On one end are very, very bad things. On the other end are small problems. For example, being a little late to pick up a child is a small problem. It is usually not called ‘not safe’.
The Very Bad End of the Line: On the other end, if a parent uses bad drugs near the child, that is ‘not safe’. Many things are in the middle of this line. You need to know how a judge will look at it. The judge decides if it is ‘not safe’ for the child.
Clear ‘Not Safe’ Things:
– Hurting the Child: If the parent hits the child or does things that hurt the child.
– Bad Drug Use: If the parent uses bad drugs or drinks way too much beer or wine.
– Not Giving Care: If the parent does not give the child food or a clean, safe home.
Things That Might Be ‘Not Safe’:
– Lots of Yelling: Yelling very loud all the time that makes the child feel scared.
–Leaving Child Alone: Leaving a small child all alone with no one to watch them.
– Bad People Around: Having people who are not safe be around the child a lot. Real Life Story: Betty worried for her child. The child’s dad often left their small child with new people Betty did not know. Betty talked to a law helper. The helper said the judge might see this as ‘not safe’. They should ask the judge to look at the rules for visits.
What Should You Do if You Think the Other Parent is Not Safe for Your Child?
Your First Smart Step: If you think your child is not safe with the other parent, you must be careful. The judge told you to let the child see the other parent. The judge told *you* this rule. It was not just your law helper who was told.
Get Help From a Law Helper: This means if you plan to not follow that rule, you need a big, good reason. You must get your law helper to give the right papers to the judge. These papers ask the judge to change the rule. They ask for a new rule to keep the child safe.
Things You Must Do:
– Tell Your Law Helper All: Tell your law helper everything that is happening right now.
– Show Proof if You Have It: If you have notes or photos that show the problem, give them to your law helper.
– Ask to Change the Rule: Ask your law helper to give papers to the judge to change the rule.
Why This Way is Best:
– Keeps Child Safe: This is all about making sure your child is not in harm’s way.
– Follows the Law: It shows the judge you try to do things the right and fair way.
– Keeps You Out of Trouble: It helps you not get into trouble for breaking the judge’s rule.
Real Life Story: Carl thought his child was in a bad spot at the mom’s house. He called his law helper from our family law helpers. The helper gave papers to the judge very fast. The papers asked for a quick change so the child would be safe.
What if You Feel You Must Keep Your Child for Their Safety?
A Very Hard Thing to Decide: You might feel like you have to keep your child away from the other parent. You might think it is the only way to keep them safe. If you do this, the judge will want to know why you did it. You must have a very, very good reason for your choice.
You Are Taking a Big Chance: You are taking a big chance of getting in trouble with the judge. This could mean the judge says you are in contempt. It could even mean the judge changes who the child lives with most of the time. You must be very sure it is worth taking this big chance.
If You Do Keep Your Child:
– Tell Law Helper Fast: Your law helper must know what you did right away.
– Papers to Judge Fast: Papers must go to the judge to tell why you did it.
– Must Be About Safety: Your reason must be all about keeping the child safe from harm.
What the Judge Will Want to Know:
– Why Did You Do It?: The judge will ask why you broke the rule.
– Was Child Really Not Safe?: Was the child in real danger at that time?
– Did You Try Other Things?: Did you try to get help other ways first, if you had time?
Real Life Story: Sue kept her girl home. She found out the other parent was leaving their small girl alone for many hours. Sue’s law helper gave papers to the judge the next day. Sue had to tell the judge why. The judge understood because the child was truly not safe then.
Does the Judge Really Care Why You Kept Your Child?
Yes, the Judge Cares: Yes, the judge cares a lot. The judge wants to know why you kept your child. If you do not let the other parent see the child like the judge’s paper says, you will have to tell the judge why. You need a very good reason to tell the judge.
Good Reasons are Important: Your reason must be about keeping the child well and safe. If your reason is more about you being mad at the other parent, the judge will not like it. The judge wants to see you are trying to keep your child safe. The judge does not want to see you try to hurt the other parent.
Good Reasons for the Judge: –
Child Was in Danger: The child was in real danger of being hurt right then.
– Child Was Very Sick: The child was too sick to go and could not be moved in a safe way.
– No Other Safe Way: There was no other way at all to keep the child safe at that time.
Reasons the Judge Will Not Like:
– You Were Just Mad: You were only mad at the other parent about something else.
– Small Things: The other parent was just a little bit late to pick up the child.
– To Be Mean to Them: You just wanted to make the other parent feel bad or upset. Real Life Story: Bill kept his boy. The mom said she was going far away. She said she would leave the boy with someone Bill did not know. Bill worried a lot. Bill told the judge this reason. The judge listened. It was about the boy being safe. They then looked at how judges decide on child care.
Is it a Good Idea to Talk to a Law Helper About This?
Yes, Always Talk to a Law Helper: If you are thinking about not following the judge’s paper, you should always talk to a law helper. A law helper is also called a lawyer. These things are not easy to know on your own. A law helper can help you know the rules. They can tell you what might happen.
Law Helpers Know These Rules: Law helpers who work with moms and dads know how judges think. They know about these things. They can give you good ideas for your own case. This can help you choose better for you and your child. This is very true for family law in Michigan.
How a Law Helper Can Help:
– Tells You Rules: They can tell you what the law says in words that are easy to get.
– Gives You Ideas: They can tell you different things you can try to do.
– Gives Papers to Judge: They can help you give the right papers to the judge for you.
When You Should Call Them:
– Before You Act Wrong: Call before you do something that breaks a rule from the judge.
– If Child is Not Safe: Call if you think your child is in a place that is not safe.
– If You Just Don’t Know: Call if you are not sure what is the right thing to do.
Real Life Story: Ann was very worried about her child’s dad. Before she did anything, she called a law helper. The law helper helped Ann ask the judge for help. Ann did it the right way. So, Ann did not get into any trouble.
When Is It Okay to Keep Your Child From the Other Parent?
Only for Very, Very Big Reasons: It is almost never okay to keep your child from the other parent if a judge’s paper says they should go. The only time it might be okay is if the child is in real danger right now. This means the child could get hurt very soon if they go.
Not Okay for Small Things: It is not okay if you are just mad at the other parent. It is not okay if they said mean words to you. It must be about the child not being hurt or sick. And even then, you must tell your law helper and the judge very, very fast what you did and why.
Child’s Safety Must Be First:
– Real, True Danger: The child is facing real harm if they go.
– No Other Good Choice: You have tried all other ways, or there was no time for other ways.
– Act Fast to Tell: You act very fast to tell a law helper and the judge why you did it.
What is NOT a Good Reason:
– To Get Back at Them: You want to make the other parent pay for something.
– Child Says No (Usually): If the child just says they do not want to go, that is often not enough, unless the child is in danger.
– New Boy or Girl Friend: You do not like the new boy or girl friend of the other parent.
Real Life Story: One night, Kate’s child came home very scared. The child said the other parent was acting very strange and making the child feel unsafe. Kate kept the child home. She called her law helper the very next morning. The law helper helped Kate tell the judge why she had to do that to keep her child safe.
What if You Are Just Mad at the Other Parent and Want to Stop Visits?
Your Mad Feelings Are Not the Boss: It is okay for moms and dads to get mad at each other sometimes. But your mad feelings should not be the boss of when your child sees the other parent. The judge’s paper is about what is good for your child. It is not about your mad feelings.
The Judge Will Know if You Lie: If you keep your child from visits just because you are mad, the judge will most likely find out. This can make you look very bad to the judge. It can hurt your chances. The judge might not see you as a good parent who follows the rules like you should.
Good Ways to Deal with Mad Feelings:
– Talk to a Good Friend: Tell a friend you trust how you feel.
– Write Your Feelings Down: Write in a book about your mad feelings to let them out.
– Get Help if Needed: If you are mad very often, a kind helper or guide could help you feel better.
Think About Your Child First:
– Child Loves Both Parents: Your child most likely loves both you and the other parent.
– Child Needs Both Parents: It is often best for kids to have good time with both parents.
– Follow the Judge’s Plan: Stick to the judge’s plan. Do it for your child’s good.
Real Life Story: Tom was very mad. His child’s mom was late giving him some money she owed him. He thought, “Maybe I will not let her see our child.” But his good friend told him that was a very bad idea. His friend said it could get Tom in big trouble with the judge.
Who Can Help Me if I Have These Questions?
Law Helpers Can Give You Help: If you have questions about taking a child from a parent, or about a judge’s paper, a law helper is a good person to ask. Law helpers who work with families in Michigan know all these rules very well. They can help you see what to do.
Our Good Team is Here for You: At our place, Goldman and Associates, our team helps people with these kinds of family law questions all the time. We want to help you know what you can do. We want to help you do what is best for your child. We can tell you things in words that are easy to get.
Ways We Can Give You Help:
– Answer Your Questions: We can give you answers to your questions about the law.
– Tell You About Papers: We can help you know what papers from the judge mean.
– Go to the Judge With You: We can help you talk to the judge if you need to.
How to Get in Touch With Us:
– Call Us on the Phone: You can call us on the phone to talk about your case.
– Look at Our Web Site: Our web site has more words and help for you.
– Ask Us for a Talk Time: We can find a time to talk with you all about what you need.
Real Life Story: Debby had lots of questions. She did not get what her judge’s paper meant for visits with her boy. She called our office. We talked with her. We helped her get what the paper meant. Then she knew what she had to do.
More Good Things to Know:
A Little Extra Help Try to Work Together Nicely: When moms and dads can try to work together, it is often much better for the kids. This means talking in a nice, calm way about what the child needs. It means you might have to give a little to help things go well. Even if it feels very hard, if you try to work with the other parent, it can make a big change. Your child might be much more happy. Our team at Goldman and Associates can give you ideas on how to work better with the other parent. We can help even when things are hard.
How Your Child Sees Things: It is good to try to think how all these things look to your child. Kids can feel like they are stuck in the middle when their parents fight. They can feel bad when parents do not follow the rules. Make sure your child feels safe. Make sure they feel loved by both mom and dad. That is very key. When parents follow the judge’s plan, it helps the child feel like things are steady. It helps them feel okay. Always try to put how your child feels first when you make these choices.
Frequently Asked Questions:
1. Can a dad just choose to keep his son from the mom?
No, a dad cannot do that if a judge’s paper says the mom should have the son. If he does, he can get in big trouble with the judge.
2. What is a “judge’s paper” that talks about kids?
It is a rule made by a judge. It says when each parent gets to have the child with them. Both parents must do what it says.
3. What can happen if I do not follow the judge’s paper for child visits?
You could get in trouble with the judge. You might have to pay money, or you could even lose some of your time with your child.
4. Can I keep my child if I think the other parent might hurt them?
If your child is in real danger of being hurt, you should keep them safe. But you must call a law helper right away and tell the judge what you did and why.
5. What does it mean to be an “unfit parent”?
It means a parent is not able to care for a child in a safe way. This could be because of bad drugs, not giving food, or hurting the child.
6. What is the very first thing I should do if I think my child is not safe with the other parent?
You should call a family law helper right now. They can tell you the right steps to take to keep your child safe by the law.
7. Will the judge be mad at me if I keep my child to keep them safe?
The judge will want to know why you did it. If it was really for safety, and you told a law helper and the judge very fast, the judge will listen.
8. Do I for sure need a law helper for these kinds of problems? It is a very, very good idea to have a law helper. These rules are hard to get on your own. A law helper can help you not make bad mistakes.
9. When should I put my child’s safety first, before the judge’s paper?
You should only do this if your child is in real danger of being hurt right now. Then, get help from a law helper right after you make sure your child is safe.
10. What if I am just mad at my ex? Can I stop their visits with our child?
No, just being mad is not a good reason to stop visits that a judge has set up. This could hurt your child. It could also get you in trouble.
11. Who makes the choice about how child care time is shared?
A judge makes this choice. The judge decides based on what is best for the child. You can learn more from our videos, like this one on how judges decide on child care.
12. What if the other parent tries to take my child away from me, and it is wrong?
You should call your law helper right away. You should also call the police if you think this is happening and it is against a judge’s rule. Our video can help you learn about taking a child and why it can be a big problem.
We Are Here to Give You Help: It can be very hard to get all the rules about time with your children. If a father wants to take his son from the mother, or if any parent has this problem, knowing the law is so key. You do not have to try to find out all these things by yourself. Our good team at Goldman and Associates is here. We help families in Michigan with these hard things.
How to Reach Us for Help:
– Call or Text Us on the Phone: (248) 590-6600
– Get a Free Talk With Us: Go to ChooseGoldman.com/contact-us on the web. You can set up a time to talk with us for free.
– Learn More on Our Web Site: Go to ChooseGoldman.com for more help and good words.