How to Avoid Putting Kids in the Middle of Divorce

This is a common refrain. “Don’t put your kids in the middle!” Why wouldn’t they be in the center? They take center stage in divorces when there are children. How is it possible that they won’t be involved in your divorce? What it comes down to is not using children as a bargaining chip in your divorce. Avoid putting kids in the middle of a divorce.

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You should try to keep your children out of decisions that don’t affect them. With children, don’t embellish your financial condition. Contact your spouse or submit a motion to the court. Avoid including children in money discussions. It will be beneficial if parents can reach a consensus on costs. They must agree on what they will and will not spend on with their money. Working on financial issues as a couple requires cooperation from the parents. Children shouldn’t be used as pawns or caught in the middle of a financial plan that is mutually agreed upon.

What are the financial talking points in a divorce?

You have to weigh the expense of the legal process against the desired results.  Make an informed decision. Whether you choose something costly or cheap will depend on what you want to do with your divorce. The main financial concerns in divorce will be moving around the following matters:

Child support

A court order specifies child support. The cost of children’s necessary daily expenses must be covered by child support laws. Both parents were supporting the children before the divorce. After a divorce, our assumptions change. Both parents are living different lives now. The expenses might fluctuate depending on who wins custody of the children. It may be noticeably higher. Household spending patterns will change after a divorce. Household expenses will be a bit higher and become challenging now. There are now concerns about two households, at least for the non-custodial spouse.

Property division

To divide marital property in Michigan, the “equitable distribution” legal principle is applied. Property is divided according to what is judged fair in each scenario. Determined under regulations governing equitable distribution. The court distributes marital property. Both assets and obligations from the marriage are shared. “Marital property” can apply to both possessions and liabilities. Marital property includes the majority of assets acquired after the date of marriage. Assets acquired before the wedding are referred to as separate property. Debts incurred due to extramarital affairs and gambling are not part of marital debt. Restitution-related debts are also not considered marital debts. Student loans taken out for one spouse’s schooling are regarded as separate property. If student debts were taken out to support the family, they may be considered marital debt. A business may be classified as divisible marital property in whole or in part. The judge will probably give one spouse the rights to the whole business. The court may order them to purchase the other spouse’s ownership stake in the company. The spouse who is keeping the firm going will argue for a lower business valuation. When buying out their spouse’s interest, will save money. The partner may sell their stake in the business. This partner will argue that there is more to gain by selling the business. Different financial or accounting rules are applied by experts to determine the value of assets. Assets including company interests, investments, stocks, and bonds are subject to these rules.

Spousal support (or alimony).

If and how much spousal support you will get depends on a variety of factors; there is no standard formula. A case-by-case analysis is used to determine spousal support. Under some conditions, spousal support may be necessary. The purpose of this is to guarantee that both parties are taken care of after a divorce. A spouse may not get enough support from the property award made to one side. Spousal support may be required in this situation. After the divorce, one party may be in a worse financial condition. Money can be used by the opposite side to make up the shortfall. It is subject to judicial orders. The duration and amount of spousal support are something you can negotiate.  It is like any other divorce-related issue. The court will support such a determination so long as neither side is given an undue advantage.

The legal cost of divorce.

A price for the retainer and the hourly fee will be given to you. Rates will vary based on the degree of experience, reputation, and competence of the practice.  These hourly rates may increase significantly. It will fluctuate in highly crowded metropolitan regions and commercial centers. In Michigan, lawyers often demand payment in retainers, hourly rates, or contingency fees. Most attorneys bill by the hour. It safeguards them in case your divorce takes longer than expected to conclude.

Divorces are quite expensive. Most of the things that are most important to you involve several financial choices. They are costly both financially and emotionally. You must compare the expense of the legal process to the desired result. Make an educated choice. You should talk with your attorney about these desired results. 

What is the impact of financials on families going through divorce?

Costs associated with divorce can arise from unforeseen sources. Costs might vary greatly depending on the scenario and conditions. The distribution of assets and child custody are two major divorce-related expenses. People consider the financial burden of divorce. They often think of legal bills. Divorce has an impact and it does not necessarily come from the direct costs of legal services. Costs associated with divorce can arise from unforeseen sources. Costs might vary greatly depending on the scenario and conditions. The distribution of assets and child custody are two major divorce-related expenses. When people consider the financial burden of divorce, they typically think of legal bills. expenditures. Here are some of the major financial and economic impacts of divorce:

Divorce increases the incidence of poverty.

One in five American families experiences poverty after a divorce. 75% of all women who apply for welfare assistance do so as a result of a broken marriage. These women are also in an unstable relationship in which they cohabitate with a man. The link between the dissolution of marriage and poverty receives little public attention. This is despite the fact a household’s income declines after a divorce. Think about how people might respond to a comparable decline in the country’s economy. The recession happened when American economic productivity decreased by 2.1 percent. This was from 1981 and 1982. It was known as the Great Depression. You are looking at 1929 to 1933 when the economy shrank by 30.5 percent. This was from $203 million to $141 million (in constant 1958 currency). Over a million children endured divorce in their homes every year over the previous 27 years. This was followed by a corresponding decline in family income ranging from 28 to 42 percent. 

For families and future generations, divorce has a lot of costly financial repercussions. Mary Corcoran, a professor of political science at the University of Michigan supplied the following data. Data from 1994 demonstrated the economic impact of divorce. The average family income of children who lived with two parents was $43,600. The average income of the same children who lived with one parent was $25,300. In other words, the household income of a child’s family often decreased by 42% as a result of divorce. In 1997, 8.15 million children were being raised by a single divorced parent.

The decline in income and happiness.

The likelihood of divorce was highest when the income of the women was between 40 and 50 percent of the total family income. Marital unhappiness increases the likelihood that non-working spouses will join the workforce. Canadian research revealed that divorce rates rise when women’s income gets closer to that of their husbands. It increases further when it exceeds their husbands’. The likelihood of divorce rises by 3% for every extra $1,000 earned by spouses. The children’s presence significantly affects the custodial parent’s financial condition after a divorce. A 52 percent decrease in household income is experienced by the parent who has custody of the children. There was a study done by the National Survey of Families and Households. It showed that divorced moms with children had a $20,000 decrease in family income from 1987 to 1994.

Divorce and asset formation.

There hasn’t been much investigation into how divorce affects a household’s long-term assets. A RAND Corporation study suggests that the impact might be significant. By the sixth decade of life, family structure and wealth are closely related. Married couples in their fifties with an eye toward retirement have four times more wealth. This is in comparison to their divorced colleagues. The RAND study reveals that the total asset base of the two divorced families is half that of married couples. 

Impact of divorce on women.

After a divorce, many women see a significant fall in their financial situation. It has an impact on their children. The National Survey of Families and Households’ 1987–1988 and 1992–1994 waves were analyzed. It revealed that divorce reduced a mother’s and children’s household income by $13,000. Their probabilities of owning property were also 12 percentage points lower. Their standard of life was 20 percent lower. The impact depends on the respective earning capacities of the husband and wife. Divorce can have varying negative consequences on women’s income. Some women have experienced the greatest income losses (38.5 percent for a mother with one child). These are “the ‘low education’ mother[s] who were married to a ‘high education’ man.” Divorce seems to have the least impact on the family income of highly educated moms. These are women married to less educated men (11.2%).

Impact of divorce on children.

Children of divorce experience severe negative repercussions. When parents divorce, 61 percent of children’s households experience poor income “per capita” levels. This was revealed in a Canadian study. This is compared to just 13.1% of children’s households when both parents remain together. Children of divorced moms have a lower likelihood of making money in the top third of the income distribution as adults. Seventy-four percent of children have divorced moms with low earnings. Their wages are in the bottom third of the income distribution. In the top third of the income distribution are 4%.

The financial aid available to parents for their children’s college education varies. It varies across family configurations. It is influenced more by their parents’ accumulated wealth. Divorced parents (36%) can’t cover all or the majority of their children’s college costs. Less than married parents (59%). Divorced parents (29%) are more likely to offer no support at all than married parents (17%). Women reared in intact marriages have significant variations in their educational level. They vary in household income level and receipt of welfare among women whose parents divorced.

How to avoid putting children in the middle of a divorce?

Children lack the wisdom or life experience to recognize there is life after divorce. Most adults approach it intending to remake their lives in the future. They also understand that they have little to no influence over the process. It may feel as though their only source of safety and security is evaporating. It is the only family they have ever known and is falling apart. Children need parents to reassure and console them after a divorce. Show them their love. Finding ways to keep them shielded from the outcomes and consequences of divorce. Here’s how to do it:

Putting the needs of the children first.

Always prioritize your children’s needs. It takes work to pull it off. Stop bullying one another. As parents, you should follow the adage “Put the children first”. You’re not obligated to ignore whatever you want. One parent could have to foot a sizable payment. The other parent could step up and cover the cost the next time. If it is possible for you and your spouse, keep track of any “extra” costs you pay during the year. Be fair and reasonable after the year. You may manage your co-parenting expenditures as you choose. Just make sure it’s a lasting fix. You’ll be sharing expenses as co-parents for a lot longer than you anticipate.

When talking to children about money, exercise caution.

Don’t be critical of your ex-spouse’s financial choices. You could feel better by venting about how petty and selfish your ex-spouse was. It won’t benefit your children. Parents should keep their children out of discussions. When it comes to their financial constraints, this is extremely important. Your financial situation following the divorce doesn’t have to be kept a secret from your children. You must discuss it in a way that doesn’t place the responsibility on your child or your co-parent. 

Become better at communicating with your co-parent.

Couples already have trouble communicating with one another. Each party must take the other’s viewpoint into account. Yes, one parent could “win,” but you might also be able to come to an understanding. Parents are more likely to agree and get along if the activity and costs are discussed in advance. The decision-making process must feel inclusive to both parents. Try to limit your requests and any passive-aggressive comments. Talk and listen to the other parent when they speak. For understanding, listen. Poor communication is mostly to blame for interpersonal conflict. 

Establish a mechanism for allocating costs.

There are some things and things that won’t be mentioned in court. not even when you’re meditating. While deciding how to divide expenditures, you might wish to heed the court’s counsel. First, review the divorce ruling. The decree often specifies the precise obligations placed on each co-parent. It will frequently outline the various cost obligations. This can act as a general framework for how to talk about shared expenditures. A cost may be deemed reasonable and necessary by a court. It will be divided by the judge based on the parent’s income. A larger part of the unusual expense will be covered by the parent with the higher income. There is another approach to managing these costs. Request that the parent who encourages the activity the most give the majority or all the cash. Your ex-spouse may feel your child should have an expensive item. They could foot the expense. If they want the child to take part in an expensive event, they may pay for it, and the opposite is also true.

Divorcing parents often experience such intense emotional upheaval. They have a lower capacity to support their children. Even worse, they involve their children in the divorce proceedings. Using them as pawns in their conflict with their spouse. Children being involved in a divorce might be emotionally damaging. Judges who preside over divorce cases regularly witness this kind of conduct. They do not find it acceptable.

Our marriages’ success or failure has an impact on more than just our personal lives. When marriages end in divorce, society is financially burdened. One of the most frequent causes of financial hardship for people, particularly women and children, is divorce. People start to rely on support, services, and programs provided by the government. Divorce and having unmarried children cost American taxpayers at least $112 billion annually. These expenses do not include the price of the divorce itself. Costs like lawyer and court fees, counseling, and mediation. They only apply to public assistance programs (welfare).

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Goldman & Associates Law Firm is here to with information about Child Custody and Divorce in the State of Michigan.