It can be very hard when your ex does not let you see your kids. This happens to many parents. It is important to know what you can do. This helps make sure you get your time with your children.
What Happens When You Show Up and Your Ex Won’t Give You the Kids?
Unexpected Problems: You go to pick up your kids for your time. Your ex says no. This can feel very bad. It makes you feel unsure about what to do next.
Checking the Rules: First, check your plan. Is it really your weekend or day? Sometimes, people get confused. Make sure you are right about the time. This is a very important first step.
- Verify Your Schedule: Look at your court order.
- Check the Date and Time: Be sure it is your turn.
- Look for Errors: See if there was a simple mix-up.
- Write Down What Happened: Note the date and time.
- Record Details: Write what your ex said or did.
- Keep All Proof: Save texts or emails about it.
A Real-Life Example: John went to pick up his daughter. His ex said it was her weekend. John looked at his phone calendar. It showed it was his weekend. He knew he was right because he had a clear record.
Should You Try to Solve the Problem First?
Talking It Out: After you are sure it is your time, try to talk with your ex. Ask why they are not letting you see the kids. It might be a small problem. Maybe they just got the dates wrong.
Finding the Reason: Look for any fair reason they might have. Did something change? Was there a five-week month that messed up the plan? Try to understand their side. This can stop bigger fights later. You can learn more by watching this video: What Can I Do if My Ex won’t Give Me the Kids During Parenting Time? – ChooseGoldman.com.
- Talk Calmly: Ask what the problem is.
- Listen to Them: Hear their side of the story.
- Try to Fix It: See if you can both agree.
- Check for Date Mistakes: Look at the calendar together.
- Find a Fair Reason: See if they have a good cause.
- Avoid Arguing: Try to keep things peaceful.
A Real-Life Example: Lisa arrived to pick up her son. Her ex said he had a school trip planned for that weekend. Lisa checked her copy of the school calendar and saw it was true. They agreed to swap weekends the next month instead. This made it easier for everyone.
When Is It Time to Call a Lawyer?
Getting Legal Help: If your ex keeps holding back the kids without a good reason, you need help. It is time to call your lawyer. They know the rules. They can tell you what steps to take. For help with family law, visit Michigan Family Law Attorneys – ChooseGoldman.
What Your Lawyer Can Do: Your lawyer can file papers with the court. These papers ask the judge to make your ex follow the order. The court can make your ex give you the kids. The court can also give you extra time with your kids later. Your lawyer can also ask the judge to punish your ex for not following the rules. This helps you get your rightful time. You can also find more information on handling these situations by checking out What To Do If Your [Ex Won’t Let You See Your Kids] – ChooseGoldman.com.
- Call Your Lawyer: Tell them everything.
- Share Your Records: Show them your notes and messages.
- Ask for Advice: Let them tell you the next steps.
- File Court Papers: Your lawyer will ask the court to act.
- Ask for Makeup Time: The court can give you extra days.
- Seek Judge’s Order: The judge can make your ex follow rules.
A Real-Life Example: Mark’s ex stopped letting him see his daughter every other weekend for a month. Mark had good records of every time his ex said no. He called his lawyer. His lawyer filed papers with the court. The judge made the ex follow the plan and gave Mark extra time with his daughter to make up for the missed visits.
Can Police Help You Get Your Kids?
Police Involvement: In some very bad cases, you might call the police. The police can try to get your ex to give you the kids. But you must think hard before doing this. It can be very scary for kids to see police at their home.
Effects on Children: Imagine police cars arriving. Imagine your ex getting yelled at by police in front of your children. This can make kids very upset. They might worry about their parents. It is usually best to avoid the police if you can help it. If your kids are in danger, that is different. You can get more information on serious issues by looking at Michigan Child Custody Attorneys – ChooseGoldman.
- Police Can Try to Help: They can talk to your ex.
- This is for Bad Times: Only for very serious issues.
- Think About Your Kids: How will they feel?
- Kids Get Scared: Police can frighten them.
- Try Other Ways First: Legal steps are often better.
- Safety First: Only for true danger to children.
A Real-Life Example: Sarah’s ex would not let her pick up her son. She thought about calling the police. But she knew her son would be very scared. She decided to call her lawyer instead. She wanted to fix the problem without making it harder for her son.
What Kind of Motions Can a Lawyer File?
Motions to the Court: When your lawyer files papers, they are called motions. One type of motion is to ask the court to hold your ex in contempt. This means your ex did not follow the court order. This is a very serious step.
Asking for More Time: Another motion can ask for more time with your kids. This makes up for the time you lost. The court might also make your ex pay your legal fees. This is to make sure everyone follows the rules. The goal is to make things fair for you and your children. For more details on this, check out Parenting Time in Michigan – ChooseGoldman.
- Motion for Contempt: Says your ex broke the rules.
- Motion for More Time: Asks for extra time with kids.
- Motion for Money: Asks your ex to pay your legal costs.
- These Papers Speak to the Judge: They tell your story.
- They Ask for Justice: To make things right.
- The Judge Decides: The court will hear both sides.
A Real-Life Example: Emily’s ex kept cancelling her weekends. She missed seeing her kids many times. Her lawyer filed papers with the court asking for makeup time. The judge saw that Emily was right. The judge gave Emily extra days with her kids to make up for the lost time.
How Can You Keep Records of What Happened?
Writing Things Down: It is very important to write down everything. Write the date and time you tried to pick up your kids. Write what your ex said or did. This helps your lawyer. It also helps the judge understand your side. Texts or emails are good proof too. Keep all of these messages.
Proof for the Judge: Good records give proof to the judge. Without proof, it is just your word against your ex’s word. The more proof you have, the stronger your case will be. Keep all messages, notes, and photos. This clear record helps the court make a fair choice. You can find more info on this video: Are You Worried That Your Ex Won’t Return Your Child.
- Note Dates and Times: Be exact with details.
- Record What Was Said: Write down their exact words.
- Save All Messages: Keep texts and emails safe.
- Make Notes Quickly: Do it soon after it happens.
- Be Clear and Simple: Write so anyone can understand.
- This Helps Your Case: Strong proof helps the judge.
A Real-Life Example: David’s ex said he never showed up for pickup. But David had a text message from his ex saying she was out of town. He also had a gas receipt from near her house at the pickup time. These records showed the judge that David was telling the truth.
What If It’s a True Emergency?
When Kids Are in Danger: Sometimes, there is a very bad and sudden situation. This is called an emergency. In an emergency, you might need help fast. This could mean calling the police. An emergency is when your kids are truly not safe. This is very rare. Most times, it is not an emergency.
Acting Fast and Smart: If you truly think your kids are in danger, you must act fast. This is when calling the police might be the only way. But do not use this step for simple problems. Always think about your children’s safety first. For more family law help, you can visit Michigan Divorce & Family Law Attorneys.
- Danger to Kids: If kids are not safe, act fast.
- Police May Be Needed: In very bad cases, call them.
- This is Rare: Most issues are not true emergencies.
- Safety Comes First: Protect your children always.
- Think Clearly: Do not call police for small issues.
- Know the Difference: Emergency vs. regular problem.
A Real-Life Example: One night, a parent got a call that their child had a bad injury at their ex’s house. The ex would not answer the phone or the door. The parent knew the child needed medical help fast. They called the police because it was a clear emergency for the child’s safety.
Extra Insights
Focus on Your Kids: When you have problems with parenting time, always think about your children first. Their feelings are very important. Try to solve problems in a calm way. This helps your kids feel safe. It shows them both parents love them.
Trust Your Lawyer: Your lawyer is there to help you. They know the family law rules. They can show you the right steps to take. Give your lawyer all the facts. They can work to make things fair for you and your children. A good lawyer makes a big difference in hard times.
Frequently Asked Questions:
What if I am a few minutes late for pickup?
A: A few minutes late might be okay if you tell your ex. But being late often can cause problems. Try your best to be on time.
Can my ex change the parenting time without asking me?
A: No, your ex cannot change the plan alone. All changes need both parents to agree or a new court order. Always stick to the written plan.
What if my kids say they do not want to go with my ex?
A: Talk to your lawyer if your kids do not want to go. The court will listen to older children. But you still must follow the court order.
Will I lose my time if I do not pick up the kids?
A: If you often miss pickups, it can look bad to the court. Try hard to always pick up your children on time. Missing too much time can cause problems.
Can my ex move far away with the kids?
A: Your ex needs court approval or your permission to move far with the kids. They cannot just leave without telling you. This is a big deal.
What if my ex tries to make my kids dislike me?
A: This is called parental alienation and it is not good. Tell your lawyer right away if this happens. The court does not like this behavior.
How long does it take for a judge to make a choice?
A: It depends on how busy the court is. Your lawyer can give you a better idea. Some cases are faster, some take more time to finish.
Can I get my money back for my lawyer’s fees?
A: Sometimes the court makes the other parent pay some of your fees. Your lawyer can ask the court for this. It depends on your case and the judge’s decision.
What if I do not have a court order for parenting time?
A: If you do not have an order, you need one. Get a lawyer to help you get a court order. This makes your parenting time official and protects your rights.
Should I talk to my ex only by text or email?
A: Yes, it is good to use text or email for talks about kids. This creates a record of what is said. It can help if there are problems later on.
What if my ex always says the kids are sick?
A: If this happens often, tell your lawyer. Your ex might be making excuses. The court can make them show proof that the kids are truly sick.
Can I call child protective services for this?
A: Only call if you think your kids are truly in danger or being hurt. They check for real harm. Do not call just because of a parenting time problem.
Need help with your parenting time? Don’t wait. Call or text us today at (248) 590-6600. You can also schedule a free consultation with us to talk about your case. Visit ChooseGoldman.com for more information on how we can help you.