It feels bad when you cannot see your kids. Dads have the right to see their children. This page helps dads know what to do if the mom stops them from seeing their child. It shows the steps you can take.
What is the First Step for a Dad?
Try to Talk: Before you get lawyers, try talking to the mom. Ask her why she won’t let you see the kids. Maybe you can fix the problem just by talking together.
Learn the Reason: Find out what the real problem is. Is it something small? Or is it a big worry? Knowing the reason helps you know what to do next.
Questions to Ask Mom:
- Why now?: Ask her what changed.
- Are you worried?: See if she has worries about you or the kids’ safety.
- How can we fix this?: Ask if you can agree on a plan so you see the kids.
Why Mom Might Say No:
- New Person: Maybe she does not like your new friend.
- Real Worries: Maybe she saw you drink too much or act angry.
- Mix-Up: Maybe you got the times wrong for the visit.
Story Example: John was told he could not see his daughter. He called the mom. She was upset he was late last week. They talked, and John said he would text if late. He saw his daughter the next visit.
What if Talking Does Not Help?
Ask a Lawyer: If talking does not fix things, you need more help. You should call a lawyer. Pick one who knows about family problems and kids.
What a Lawyer Does: A lawyer can tell you your rights. They help you talk to the court. A lawyer shows you are serious about seeing your kids.
How Lawyers Help Dads:
- Know Court Rules: Lawyers know how the court works and what papers to use.
- Talk for You: They can talk to the mom’s lawyer or the judge for you.
- Protect Your Time: They work hard so you get your time with your children.
What to Do with Your Lawyer:
- Tell Your Story: Explain everything that has happened.
- Show Court Papers: Give the lawyer any papers from court about the kids.
- Make a Plan: Your lawyer will tell you the best way to ask the court for help.
Story Example: Sue kept stopping Bill from seeing their son. Bill tried talking many times. He hired a lawyer. The lawyer helped Bill learn about dad’s rights in Michigan and make a plan.
What Paper Asks a Judge for Help?
Filing Court Papers: If the mom breaks the judge’s rule about your time with the kids, your lawyer files papers. One paper asks the judge, “”Why did you break my rule?”” It is called an “”order to show cause.””
What This Paper Means: This paper tells the judge the mom is not following the rules. It asks the judge to make the mom come to court. She must explain why she broke the judge’s rule.
Why File This Paper?:
- Tells the Judge: It lets the judge know there is a problem.
- Makes Mom Explain: It forces the mom to tell the judge her reasons.
- Starts Court Action: It is how you ask the court to make things right.
What is in the Paper?:
- The Judge’s Rule: It shows the rule the judge made about seeing the kids.
- The Problem: It tells how the mom broke that rule.
- What You Want: It asks the judge to have a meeting about it.
Story Example: A judge said Dave gets his son every Saturday. The mom stopped letting Dave see him. Dave’s lawyer filed the special paper. It asked the judge to make the mom explain why.
What Happens at the Court Meeting?
Meeting the Judge: The court meeting is called a hearing. You go to court with your lawyer. The mom and her lawyer go too. You tell the judge how the mom broke the rule.
Explaining the Problem: You or your lawyer explain your side. You show the judge the rule about your time. You explain how the mom stopped you from seeing your kids.
What You Want from the Meeting:
- Show the Problem: Explain how the mom broke the judge’s rule.
- Ask for Action: Ask the judge to agree the mom broke the rule.
- Fix the Problem: Ask the judge to help you get your missed time.
What the Judge Will Do:
- Listen to Everyone: The judge hears your side and the mom’s side.
- Ask Things: The judge tries to find out what really happened.
- Decide What to Do: The judge decides if the rule was broken and what happens next.
Story Example: Ken showed the judge texts from his ex. The texts said Ken could not see his kids that weekend. The judge listened to Ken and his ex. The judge agreed the ex broke the rule.
What Can a Judge Do if a Mom Breaks the Rule?
The Judge’s Choices: If the judge agrees the mom broke the rule, the judge can do different things. The judge wants to make sure the rule is followed next time. The judge thinks about what is best for the kids.
How the Judge Helps: The judge might just give a warning. Or the judge might need to do more. It depends on how serious the problem is.
Things a Judge Might Do:
- Give a Warning: Tell the mom not to break the rule again.
- Give Makeup Time: Give the dad extra time with the kids for the missed visits.
- Say Mom Broke the Rule: This is serious and can lead to fines or other actions.
Other Possible Actions:
- Change the Time Plan: If problems keep happening, the judge might change the visit schedule.
- Order Classes: The judge might tell parents to take classes about raising kids.
- Fines or Jail: If a parent keeps breaking rules badly, they might pay money or go to jail.
Story Example: The judge found Lisa broke the rule about Mark seeing the kids. The judge gave Mark two extra weekends with the kids. The judge warned Lisa not to break the rule again.
Why is Talking Often Better Than Court?
Court Costs Money: Going to court means paying lawyers. It costs a lot of money. Talking is usually free or costs less.
Court Takes Time: Court cases can last a long time. Sometimes months or even years. Talking can solve problems much faster.
Why Talking is Good:
- Less Money Spent: You save money on lawyer bills.
- Faster Fix: Problems get solved sooner.
- Less Anger: Working together is often calmer than fighting in court.
Thinking About the Future:
- Raising Kids Together: You have to deal with the mom for years.
- Working Together: Solving problems now helps you work together later.
- Happy Kids: Kids are happier when parents do not fight all the time.
Story Example: Sam and Pam had a fight about summer visits. Instead of court, they sat down and talked. They made a new summer plan in one meeting. It saved them money and upset.
What Should I Do if Mom Says No to My Time?
You Start the Talk: If you are the dad being told no, you should try to talk first. Ask the mom why she said no. Try to see her side, even if you think she is wrong.
Be Calm: When you talk, do not yell or get angry. Explain you want to see your kids like the judge said. Ask what you can do to make visits happen.
How to Start Talking:
- Call Her: A phone call might be all you need.
- Send a Message: A calm text or email can explain how you feel.
- Ask to Meet: Suggest talking face to face about the visit plan.
Look for Answers:
- Find Agreement: Can a small change fix the problem?
- Suggest Ideas: Offer different ways to make the visit work.
- Think of the Kids: Remind her that kids need time with their dad.
Story Example: Tina told Rick he could not have the kids Friday. Rick called her calmly and asked why. She said their son was sick. Rick offered to care for him at his house, and Tina agreed.
When Must I Go to Court?
If Talking Does Not Work: Sometimes you try talking, but the mom still says no. Maybe she will not talk at all. Or she keeps breaking the judge’s rule.
Getting Your Time: If talking fails, court is the next choice. The court can make the mom follow the rule about your time with your kids in Michigan. Your time with your children is very important.
Signs You Need the Court:
- She Won’t Talk: The mom refuses to talk about the problem.
- It Keeps Happening: She stops your visits again and again.
- She Ignores the Rule: She acts like the judge’s rule does not matter.
Court is the Last Step:
- Show You Tried: Tell the judge you tried talking first.
- Need Judge’s Power: Explain why only the judge can fix it now.
- Make Her Follow Rules: Ask the judge to make the mom follow the visit plan.
Story Example: Beth kept finding reasons Tim could not see their kids. Tim wrote it all down. He tried talking many times. Nothing worked. Tim’s lawyer filed papers asking the judge for help.
Can Small Changes Help Big Problems?
Look for Easy Fixes: Maybe a small change can solve the problem. Is there something simple you can offer? This can help you avoid a big court fight.
Be Willing to Give a Little: Think about the real worry. Can you change something small to make the mom feel better? This might get your visits back on track.
Ideas for Small Changes:
- Visit Time: Maybe picking up the kids 15 minutes later works better for her.
- Talking More: Maybe sending a text after visits helps her feel okay.
- Pick-Up Spot: Maybe meeting at a library halfway is easier for both of you.
Keep Your Goal in Mind:
- See Your Kids: The main thing is spending time with your children.
- Less Fighting: Giving a little can mean less fighting later.
- Stay Out of Court: Fixing it yourself saves time and money.
Story Example: Jen worried about driving late for pick-ups. Mike offered to pick the kids up right after school instead. This small change made Jen happy and fixed the problem without lawyers.
What Proof Helps My Case?
Write Things Down: Keep notes about everything. Write down the dates you were supposed to see your kids. Write down when mom said no and why.
Save Messages: Keep copies of texts and emails about your visits. These notes and messages can show the judge what happened. Good notes help your lawyer help you.
Things to Write Down:
- Dates and Times: Note the days and times visits were stopped.
- Reasons Mom Gave: Write down her excuse for saying no.
- What You Did: Note when you tried to pick up kids or talk to her.
Types of Proof to Keep:
- Texts: Save messages about the visit plan or problems.
- Emails: Keep emails where you talked about visits.
- Calendar: Mark your calendar showing visit days and missed days.
Story Example: Chris kept a small notebook. Every time his ex stopped a visit, he wrote the date and her reason. When he went to court, the notebook showed the judge how often it happened.
Extra Insights Title: Staying Strong Through It All
It Takes Time: Going to court is not fast. Filing papers and waiting for meetings takes time. Be patient and listen to your lawyer’s advice.
Think About Your Child: Always remember the court cares most about the child. Show the judge you are a good dad who loves your child. Act in a way that is best for your child.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
1. Can a mom stop dad from seeing his child if they never went to court?
Without court papers, rules are not set. A dad might need court papers to set visit times.
2. What does “”breaking the judge’s rule”” mean?
It means someone did not follow what the judge ordered. The judge can punish them for this.
3. Should I stop paying child money if mom stops my visits?
No. Paying child money and seeing your kids are separate things. You must still pay even if visits stop.
4. How fast can I see a judge?
Courts are busy. It can take many weeks to get a meeting date with the judge.
5. What if mom says our child doesn’t want to visit me?
A parent usually cannot stop visits just because a child says no. The judge looks at what is best for the child.
6. Do I really need a lawyer?
You can file papers alone, but it is hard. A lawyer helps make sure it is done right.
7. Can I call the police to get my kids for my visit?
Police might help if the court paper is very clear. But often, they say it is a court problem, not a police one.
8. What counts as mom stopping my time?
It can be saying no, not having the kids ready, or making it hard to pick them up. See our main video here to learn more.
9. What if the mom moves far away?
Moving far away usually needs the judge’s okay or your agreement. If she moves without asking, call a lawyer fast.
10. Can the visit plan be changed?
Yes, if big things change in your life or the kids’ lives. You have to ask the judge to change the plan.
11. What is makeup visit time?
It is extra time with your kids. The judge orders it to replace time the mom wrongly stopped. Find out more in this video: Are You Worried About a Parent Violating the Custody Order?
12. How can your law office help me?
We help families in Michigan. We help dads know their rights and what to do. Watch how we explain Fathers Rights Child Custody.
Last Thoughts:
Your Time is Important: It is wrong for a mom to stop you from seeing your kids if a judge made a rule. You have rights as a dad. There are steps you can take.
Ask for Help When You Need It:
Call Us: If you are a dad in Michigan and are stopped from seeing your kids, we can help. Our team knows how hard this is.
Get Started: Call Goldman and Associates today at (248) 590-6600 (Call/Text). You can set up a free talk on our website too. Go to ChooseGoldman.com to see how our Michigan Family Law Attorneys can help you.