Social media is everywhere. We use it to talk to friends. We use it to share photos. But when you get a divorce, these apps can be dangerous. You might feel angry. You might want to see what your ex is doing. It is tempting to look at their page. But looking too much can cause big problems. The court calls this stalking. Judges do not like it. It can hurt your chance to see your kids. It can cost you a lot of money. You need to be very careful. Watch our video on social media risks in family law to learn how to stay safe.
What Is Considered Stalking on Social Media?
What It Looks Like: Stalking is when you watch someone too closely. It is not just looking at one photo. It is checking their page many times a day. It is leaving mean comments. It is sending too many messages. Even if you do not threaten them, it can still be stalking. If you make them feel unsafe, that is a problem.
Why It Is Bad: The judge wants everyone to be safe. If you obsess over your ex online, it looks scary. It looks like you want to control them. This behavior makes you look unstable. A calm parent does not act this way. If the judge thinks you are a threat, they will act fast. They will stop you from seeing your ex.
- Constant Checking: Looking at their profile every hour.
- Fake Accounts: Making a new name to spy on them.
- Mean Posts: Writing bad things about them for others to see.
- Tracking: Using their photos to find where they are.
- Messaging Friends: Asking their friends about what they are doing.
- Old Photos: Reposting old pictures to embarrass them.
Real-Life Example: A man was mad at his wife. He made a fake Facebook page. He used it to look at her photos after she blocked him. He sent her scary messages from the fake page. The wife found out it was him. She told the judge. The judge said he was not acting like a safe father.
How Do Judges View Digital Harassment?
They See Control: Judges think stalking is about control. They think you are trying to bully your ex. They do not see it as love or worry. They see it as anger. They want parents to act like grown-ups. Grown-ups do not harass each other online. If you do this, the judge will not trust you.
They See Danger: Online actions are real to the court. If you are mean online, the judge thinks you might be mean in person. They worry you might hurt someone. They will always protect the victim first. They do not want to take risks with safety. Your online anger can make you lose your rights.
- Bullying: Trying to make your ex feel small or scared.
- Obsession: Showing you cannot let go of the past.
- Safety Risk: Making the court worry about violence.
- Bad Judgment: Showing you cannot make smart choices.
- Emotional Harm: Causing stress for the other parent.
- Wasting Time: Making the court case last longer than needed.
Real-Life Example: A woman sent fifty texts to her ex in one day. She called him bad names. She posted the texts on Instagram. The judge saw the posts. The judge said she was out of control. The court ordered her to stop talking to him completely. She could only talk about the kids through an app.
Will Stalking Hurt My Child Custody Case?
Losing Your Kids: Stalking can ruin your custody case. Our Divorce and Custody Attorneys in Michigan warn that safety comes first. If you are a stalker, you are not a safe parent. The judge might take away your time with the kids. They might think you will say bad things to the children. You could lose the right to make choices for them.
Best Interests of the Child: The law looks at what is best for the child. Kids need peace. They do not need drama. If you fight online, you create drama. The judge will shield the child from you. They might say you can only see the kids for a few hours. Stalking proves you are putting your anger above your child.
- Less Time: You might only see your kids on weekends.
- No Decisions: You might not get to pick their school.
- Supervision: Someone might have to watch you with the kids.
- Loss of Trust: The judge will not believe you are a good parent.
- Child Lawyer: The court might hire a lawyer just for the child.
- Restricted Access: You might not be allowed at the child’s school.
Real-Life Example: A dad tracked the mom’s car using an app. He showed up at the park when she was there with the kids. He yelled at her. The kids were scared. The judge said this was very bad. The dad lost his overnight visits. He had to go to anger classes for a year.
Can Social Media Posts Be Used as Evidence?
Screenshots Do Not Lie: You cannot hide what you post. Even if you delete it, it might be too late. The other side can take a picture of your post. This is called a screenshot. They will show it to the judge. It is hard to argue with a picture. It shows exactly what you said. It shows when you said it.
Posts Show the Truth: Lawyers look for these posts. They want to show who you really are. If you tell the judge you are calm, but your posts are angry, you look like a liar. The judge will believe the posts. Your own words can be used to hurt your case. It is best to not post at all.
- Time Proof: Shows you were online late at night.
- Location: Shows where you were when you posted.
- Public Eye: Anyone can see it, even the judge.
- Lying: Proves you were not telling the truth in court.
- Bad Temper: Shows you have a problem with anger.
- Character: Shows you might be a mean person.
Real-Life Example: A mom said she had no money for the kids. But she posted photos of a new expensive purse. She also posted about a fancy vacation. The dad’s lawyer showed the photos to the judge. The judge saw she had money. The judge made her pay more for the children.
What Happens if the Court Issues a Protection Order?
The Protection Order: If you scare your ex, they can get a special order. This is called a Personal Protection Order, or PPO. It is a strict rule from the court. It says you cannot go near them. You cannot call them. If you break this rule, you can go to jail. It is very serious.
How It Changes Your Life: A PPO is bad for your record. Police can see it. It can make you lose your job. It makes you look like a criminal to the family court. If you have a PPO, the judge thinks you are dangerous. It is very hard to win custody if you have one of these orders against you.
- Stay Away: You cannot go to their house or job.
- No Talk: You cannot email or text them.
- No Guns: You might not be allowed to own a weapon.
- Arrest Risk: You go to jail if you break the rules.
- Permanent Record: It stays on your file for a long time.
- Job Trouble: Some bosses will not hire you.
Real-Life Example: A man kept emailing his ex-wife to beg her to come back. She asked him to stop. He did not stop. She got a PPO. He sent one more email. The police came and took him to jail. He had to stay there overnight. The judge was not happy with him.
How Does Online Behavior Affect Visitation?
Supervised Visits: If the judge thinks you are a stalker, they will not trust you alone with the child. They might order “supervised visitation.” This means another adult must be there. They watch you play with your child. It is not private. It feels like you are being babysat. It is embarrassing.
Earning Back Trust: Once you lose trust, it is hard to get it back. Michigan Child Custody Attorneys say it takes a long time. You have to prove you are safe. You have to be perfect online. You might have to take classes. It can take months or years to get normal visits again. It is better to stay safe from the start.
- Center Visits: You meet your child at a special building.
- Paid Watchers: You pay someone to watch you.
- Short Time: Visits might be only one or two hours.
- No Sleepovers: The child cannot sleep at your house.
- Drug Tests: The court might make you take tests.
- Therapy: You might have to talk to a counselor.
Real-Life Example: A woman posted that she wanted to take her kids and run away. She was just venting. But the judge saw it. The judge was scared she would kidnap the kids. The judge stopped all her visits. She could only see her kids with a social worker present for six months.
Can My Ex Use My Friends’ Posts Against Me?
Friends Can Hurt You: You might be quiet, but your friends might be loud. If your friends post mean things about your ex, it hurts you. If you “like” their mean posts, it is the same as saying it yourself. The judge thinks you are part of the problem. You are responsible for what you support.
Tagged Photos: Your friends might tag you in photos. These pictures can show things you want to hide. Maybe they show you at a party when you said you were sick. Maybe they show you with a new boyfriend or girlfriend too soon. You need to tell your friends to stop. Ask them not to post about you.
- Bad Company: You look like a bully if your friends are bullies.
- Liking Hate: Clicking “like” on a mean post is bad.
- Leaked Info: Friends might share your secrets by mistake.
- Party Pics: Photos of drinking can look bad.
- New Dates: Photos of new partners can upset the case.
- Gossip: Friends talking about your case online is risky.
Real-Life Example: A man’s brother wrote on Facebook that the man’s ex was a “liar.” The man clicked “like” on the comment. The ex-wife showed the court. The judge said the man was using his family to attack her. The judge told him to control his family or lose his visits.
What Does Stalking Cost in Money?
Lawyers Are Not Free: Being a stalker costs money. Your lawyer has to do more work. They have to defend you from the stalking claims. This takes many hours. Lawyers charge for their time. If you make a mess online, you have to pay to fix it. It is a waste of your savings.
Paying Fines: The judge can punish you with fines. If you harass your ex, the judge might make you pay their legal bills too. This is because you caused the trouble. The court thinks it is only fair. This can cost thousands of dollars. It is much cheaper to be nice.
- Court Fees: Money you pay to the court.
- Their Lawyer: Paying for your ex’s attorney.
- Missed Work: Losing pay because of court dates.
- Expert Costs: Paying people to find computer proof.
- Therapy Bills: Paying for counseling for the family.
- Bad Deals: Getting less money from the house sale.
Real-Life Example: A woman kept posting about her case. The judge told her to stop. She did it anyway. The ex-husband’s lawyer had to go to court to stop her. The judge ordered the woman to pay $1,500 for the husband’s lawyer. She lost that money just because she would not stop typing.
Why Do I Need a Lawyer?
You Need a Guide: Divorce is hard. You need someone who knows the rules. Our Divorce Attorneys in Michigan can help you. They tell you what to delete. They tell you what to stop doing. They protect you from making big mistakes. Without a lawyer, you might say the wrong thing. This can hurt your future.
Fighting False Claims: Maybe you did not stalk anyone. Maybe your ex is lying. A lawyer can help prove the truth. They know how to show your side to the judge. They can stop a PPO from happening. They fight to keep your rights. You should watch How Can Social Media Influence a Divorce & Custody Case? to see how lawyers help.
- A Good Plan: A strategy to help you win.
- Smart Advice: Knowing what evidence is good or bad.
- Fixing Messes: Helping you if you already posted something.
- Talking for You: Dealing with the other lawyer.
- Support: Standing with you in court.
- Safety: Protecting your rights as a parent.
Real-Life Example: A dad was accused of stalking because he looked at his ex’s LinkedIn page. He was worried. He hired a lawyer. The lawyer explained to the judge it was for a job check, not stalking. The judge understood. The dad did not get in trouble. The lawyer saved him from a bad ruling.
How Can I Protect My Case Now?
Stop and Think: The best way to fix this is to stop now. Do not check your ex’s social media. Do not post about them. Block them if you need to. If you stop, the judge will see that. It shows you can change. It shows you want peace. This helps your case right away.
Focus on Parenting: Spend your time on your kids. Be a good parent. Take photos with your children, but keep them private. Show the court you care about the kids, not the fight. If you act calm and kind, the court will respect you. This is the best way to win your case.
- Log Off: Take a break from the internet.
- New Passwords: Keep your account safe.
- Private Settings: Make sure only friends see your page.
- Wait to Post: Think for a day before you hit send.
- Be Polite: Only send nice messages about the kids.
- Listen to Help: Do what your lawyer tells you to do.
Real-Life Example: A woman wanted to write an angry post. Instead, she wrote it in a journal. She did not put it online. She kept her Facebook page full of happy pictures. In court, the ex tried to say she was mean. But he had no proof. The judge saw she was a good mom. She kept her custody rights.
Extra Insights:
Think About the Future: The internet never forgets. Posts stay there forever. Your kids might see them one day. Imagine your child finding a mean post you wrote about their mom or dad. This can hurt their feelings. It can hurt your bond with them. It is better to keep the internet clean. Think about your child reading your words when they are older.
Digital Footprints: Every click leaves a mark. Courts are smart about technology now. They can get records from phone companies. They can find deleted texts. There are no secrets online. The best way to hide bad behavior is to not do it. Live your life like the judge is watching you. Because in a way, they are.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can I look at my ex’s public profile?
Yes, but do not do it a lot. If you look too much, it looks like stalking.
Is it okay to post about my divorce?
No, it is better to be quiet. Posts can be used to hurt your case.
Can I delete old mean posts?
Ask your lawyer first. Deleting things can look like you are hiding the truth.
What if my ex blocks me?
Leave them alone. Do not make a fake account to look at their page.
Can I post pictures of my kids?
Usually yes, but be nice. Do not use the photos to make the other parent look bad.
Can I track my child’s phone?
You can track the child for safety. Do not use it to track the other parent.
What if my ex bullies me online?
Take screenshots of everything. Show the pictures to your lawyer right away.
Does a private account keep me safe?
No, friends can still copy your posts. Nothing online is 100% private.
Can I text my ex?
Only text about the children. Keep the texts short and nice.
Will the judge look at my Facebook?
Yes, if the other lawyer shows it to them. Judges look at social media often.
Can I use a fake name online?
It is a bad idea. It makes you look like a liar to the court.
How do I stop seeing my ex’s posts?
You should block them. This helps you move on and stay out of trouble.
If you are worried about your social media use, we can help. Call us at (248) 590-6600 or use our calendar to book a free meeting. You can also learn more at ChooseGoldman.com today.