One of the challenges of filing for divorce is the stress that comes with it. Before filing for divorce, they hold off for a day, a week, or even months. Even when a significant issue or problem is in front of them, they choose not to file. Why is that so?
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It usually has to do with fear. The outcome is what the party is frightened of. In an abusive relationship, both parties worry that the worse consequences will follow. There is a circumstance where things will settle down. The other party is now aware that the court is reviewing the relationship. The proceedings at home are beginning to intrigue the court. If you decide to stay married in the end, that will be your decision. Speak with your attorney as soon as possible. Give your attorney the reins and let them guide you through.
Why people are delaying filing for divorce?
Some jurisdictions before demanded that one spouse “prove blame” in divorce. This meant they had engaged in specific marital wrongdoing as the basis for the divorce. This wrongdoing could be infidelity or abandonment. Some states still continue to permit fault-based divorces. Almost all states today have embraced a no-fault divorce.
Spouses who are thinking about divorce are no longer burdened with proving who is to blame. Even if your partner objects, you can still file for divorce as long as you can show the following:
[ a ] The foundation of your marriage has crumbled to the point the objects of your union have been destroyed. And,
[ b ] There is no longer any chance that the marriage may be saved.
Michigan has no-fault divorce laws. But you can argue your spouse’s bad behavior warrants a more favorable judgment. This will be useful in property division or spousal support judgment. For instance, an abusive spouse threatens to end the other spouse’s life in the course of the abuse. She can file for divorce and ask the judge to give her a larger share of the marital estate. It would enable her to pay medical bills and recover the lost wages. Loss of income from being out of work as a result of her injuries. This might be the only time a judge can take bad behavior into account during the divorce process. Not every judge will adjust the property, custody, or spousal support awards owing to one spouse’s wrongdoing.
We all know that getting a divorce may be expensive in a variety of ways. You already have financial difficulties in your marriage. The idea of paying divorce costs or splitting your debt, no matter how fair it may seem on paper, is not appealing.
Money concerns are reasons many unhappy, unsuitable couples continue to cohabitate. High inflation rates have increased the expense of living as a single individual. The expense of divorce appears to outweigh the desire to live alone. A lifestyle choice that can cost over $3,000 per month. Not to mention the costs associated with paying spousal support and child support. If your spouse is making more money than you, the fear of losing financial security hangs even heavier.
The fear of escalating abuse or violence can also bring you to think twice about filing for divorce. There are valid causes for fear for the spouses of abusive partners. Abusive spouses usually use threats to children as leverage. Like threatening to take the kids and relocate. And you can be certain the abusive spouse will follow through with the threat. An abusive spouse can fabricate evidence. Manipulate witnesses and bring them to court to demonize the abused spouse. There have been cases of abusive spouses kidnapping their own children. And the murder of spouses and children is possible. There’s real fear in the prospect of filing for a divorce.
Should you file the divorce first?
For those who do not have the challenges of an abusive spouse, the challenge will be when or should they make the first move. People often plan when going through a divorce since it might feel like a battle. Let’s take a minute to pause and consider whether filing for divorce first is a wise course of action for you. If you file first, this will be your advantage:
You are more prepared for divorce.
You have the chance to get ready if you file first. You have more time to prepare everything. More days than the 20 days you have to respond if your husband files first. In a custody dispute, it is crucial to take advantage of this time to get copies of any relevant documents. You need documents like financials and account details and gather proof. During this time, you should also make sure that you are financially ready for the divorce. We strongly advise starting on both before continuing if you don’t already have a job or a credit card.
Prevent the hiding of assets.
Make sure your spouse is not hiding any assets by checking twice. They occasionally give property to friends or family. Sometimes they’ll transfer funds to an unidentified account. Marital property is supposed to be divided evenly. When the time comes, make sure you have all the information on assets and finances.
You have better control over timing your moves.
You can determine the divorce’s start date by filing first. Despite being seen as pushy, filing documents while your spouse is on vacation is a wise option. The law gives your spouse 20 days to get in touch with a divorce attorney and prepare a response to your filed papers. You may be granted a default divorce if they neglect to file the response.
Better control over the progression and direction of the divorce case.
The divorce can be filed at any time if one party files first. In the event that your spouse hasn’t sent a response, you may elect to call off the divorce. Canceling the divorce is an option that you have up until your spouse responds to your complaint. Your spouse will be the defendant if you file first, making you the plaintiff. You would testify first at trial if your divorce case reached that point.
Do you really want a divorce? Are you doing it for the right reasons? If you believe you are, talk to an attorney. Get educated and be very clear about understanding the life you want after divorce. Don’t do it out of fear. Do it based on a well-informed decision.
Should you wait until the children are all grown up?
Maybe you’re hesitating because you’re worried about the effect of the divorce on your children. You are thinking things are progressing too fast for your comfort or your children’s comfort.
The necessary waiting period from the time of filing until a judgment can be entered is sixty days. The waiting period for a divorce without minor children. There is no option for the judge to lower this time frame any further; it is the shortest possible.
In Michigan, the timing of divorce filing can have a significant impact on the outcome of your case. With minor children, a six-month waiting period must pass before a judgment can be issued. You should be ready to wait six months when you file because you won’t know who your judge is until the case is filed. There are several conditions under which a judge can shorten the waiting time. Different judges have varied attitudes and rules on this topic.
You will incur a slightly higher filing cost for a divorce with minor children. There will be more court paperwork pertaining to the children. More court appearances or hearings are necessary. Even if the child is older than 17, child custody, parenting time, and child support must still be determined.
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Goldman & Associates Law Firm is here to with information about Child Custody and Divorce in the State of Michigan.