Choosing Between A Private vs. Court-Ordered Custody Agreement
Which is preferable: obtaining a court order or a private custody agreement? Private agreements imply that the court may not always be engaged. This indicates that you’re making an effort to avoid the court. It is admirable when parties are making an effort to reach an understanding over who should have custody. You always have the option of choosing between a private custody agreement vs a court order.
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The court always prefers when families negotiate for their children at a table. Always come to a mutually agreeable solution so that you may put it in writing and present it to the court. That should be approved by the court. To gain the court’s approval, the agreement should be sufficiently flexible. It then turns into an order. Is it something you ought to carry out even in a personal contract? Yes, it is the answer. You still need the court’s approval even if you come to a private arrangement. You will have difficulties with enforcement and remedies without the court’s approval. You have to think these choices through. The center of this agreement is your children. The terms of the agreement will affect your life and your children. Be reflective. Talk to your children. Have a conversation with your co-parent before considering any of the choices. An agreement demands your attention. It seeks compliance.
What are private custody agreements?
A private custody agreement is a written or verbal understanding between the parents. The agreement specifies the conditions of their children’s care. A private custody agreement has advantages. The terms are more adaptable, which is the first advantage. You can also save time and money. Court hearings are avoided. There is more flexibility. The parents are free to change the agreement as needed. The drawbacks of a private custody agreement. Private child custody agreements have their drawbacks. Parents who can’t agree with the terms may end up in court anyway. Private agreements usually are difficult to enforce if not done in writing. Parents can change their minds leading to changes in the terms. There’s nothing the other parent can do about it.
The advantages of a private custody agreement.
Let’s briefly explain each of the advantages of a private custody agreement below:
- Flexibility. Terms of private custody agreements are more flexible. Parents can change the terms to accommodate their specific needs. Tailor it to their situation. One parent may have a demanding job requiring frequent travel. The agreement can be modified to allow for more flexibility in visitation.
- Time and Cost Savings. Parents in private custody agreements can draft the terms together. Agree with the terms drafted. Sign the documents. It saves time. It avoids the cost of an attorney. No more filing fees.
- Avoidance of Court Hearings. A private custody agreement can also help to avoid court hearings. All you need to do is agree. You don’t have to wait for scheduled sessions in court.
- More Privacy. Compared to a court-ordered custody agreement, a private custody agreement offers more privacy. The agreement’s terms are not submitted to the court. The general public cannot access any documents. The arrangement might need to remain private.
The drawbacks of a private custody agreement.
You can’t have them all, so these agreements have drawbacks too. Here are some of them:
- Lack of agreement. It’s possible that the agreement’s conditions won’t be acceptable to the parents. To address the problem, they might have to go to court in any case.
- Lack of enforceability. Another drawback of a private custody agreement. It may not be enforceable if it is not written down. One parent may choose not to comply with the terms of the agreement. The other parent may not be able to do anything about it.
- Change of circumstances. The terms may be difficult to revise if the parent’s circumstances change. One parent moves to a different city. The agreement may need to be modified to reflect the new circumstances.
The main focus of the agreement should be the needs of the children. If you still choose a private custody agreement in spite of the drawbacks, focus on the age and needs of the child. And, consider these:
- Your work schedules.
- Financial resources.
- Parenting styles.
- Your communication skills.
A private custody agreement may cost less. You don’t have to pay court fees. You can save on lawyer fees. The parties drive the pace of the process. There are no schedules to follow. No procedural checkpoints to go through. Spouses who communicate well can put their intentions across. The spouses are making the decisions. There is more control. Privacy is more assured in a private custody agreement. You may have to weigh all these advantages against the disadvantages. It is a private agreement. The court is not involved. You won’t have much influence if the other party fails to comply. The outcomes for the children entered in the terms may not be achieved.
What are court-ordered custody agreements?
A court-ordered custody agreement is an agreement with terms mandated by the court. It binds both parents to the agreement. It is in essence a court order. The court can enforce it in Michigan.
The advantages of a court-ordered custody agreement.
A court-ordered custody agreement has its advantages. First, the terms of the agreement are fair to both parents. Second, having the effect of a court order it is enforceable in Michigan. Third, it provides a clear roadmap for the parents to follow in raising their children.
- Fairness. A court-ordered custody agreement ensures the terms are fair to both parents. The judge will consider the best interests of the child when making the decision. They will take into account factors such as the child’s age, needs, and the parent’s work schedules. A court-ordered custody agreement can provide a sense of closure. It gives certainty to both parents. It can be reassuring to know that the terms of the agreement have been approved by a judge.
- Enforceability. Another advantage of a court-ordered custody agreement is its enforceability in Michigan. One parent may fail to follow the terms of the agreement. The other parent can always go back to court. Ask the judge to enforce the agreement. This can be a valuable tool for parents. Especially, those who are struggling to enforce a private custody agreement. A court-ordered custody agreement can give the custodial parent more legal recourse.
- Clarity. A court-ordered custody agreement can provide a clear roadmap for the parents. A guide to follow in raising their children. This can help to reduce conflict between the parents. It helps to ensure that the child’s needs are met. The agreement will often specify the amount of time each parent will spend with the child. It defines specific terms of the visitation schedule. This avoids confusion. It lessens misunderstandings about when and where the child will be staying.
The disadvantages of a court-ordered custody agreement.
It is important to note that there are also some disadvantages to court-ordered custody agreements. These include the fact that they can be expensive and time-consuming to get and that the judge may not make the decision that you want.
- Cost and Time. A court-ordered custody agreement can be expensive and time-consuming to get. You will need to hire an attorney and file paperwork with the court. You have to attend court hearings. The cost of this agreement can vary depending on the complexity of your case. Add the fees charged by your attorney. You can expect to pay several thousand dollars in legal fees. The time it takes to get a court-ordered custody agreement can also vary. You should expect the process to take several months, or even longer.
- Judge’s Decision. The judge may not make the decision that you want. The judge will consider the best interests of the child when making the decision. They will take into account factors such as the child’s age, needs, and the parent’s work schedules. The judge is not required to make the decision based on what you want.
- Change of Circumstances. Finally, a court-ordered custody agreement may be difficult to change. Even if the parent’s circumstances change. A parent might lose their job or move to a different city. The agreement may need to be modified to reflect the new circumstances. Modifying a court-ordered custody agreement can be a complex and time-consuming process. You will need to file a motion with the court. Attend a hearing. The judge will then consider the new circumstances. Decide whether to modify the agreement.
You may not be able to reach an agreement with your co-parent. A private custody agreement may not work for you. Unless you’re willing to talk more, you won’t move forward. You’re left with little options but to defer to the court. An attorney can make your case. Things will often work with a good attorney. It may be easier for you to trust a third party. A judge in a court can make a ruling. Order the terms. Make everyone comply. You may be more comfortable with that. Have a talk with your Michigan Child Custody attorney for more clarity.
A private custody agreement or a court-ordered custody agreement?
The court won’t object to a private custody agreement if it is in the child’s best interests. Court-ordered agreements may be too restrictive for some. Parents must learn to make the right choice about the agreements they need to abide by. The well-being of their children is at stake. Before looking at the choices talk to your child first. They may be old enough to express what they want. Talk to your ex-spouse afterward. Find out what outcomes your ex-spouse wants for the children. Reflect on the responses you got. It will put you in the right perspective when you consider these agreements. Then start learning about the choices. You need to reflect on these factors before making that choice:
The best interests of the child.
This is the aspect of custody given the most weight in Michigan. Courts in Michigan will always base their decisions on these factors. We have always mentioned this constantly in our child custody articles. You will never read our articles on child custody and parenting time without referencing the best interest of the child. Even private custody agreements will have to defer to this. Terms of private custody agreement should revolve around what is best for the child. What else should it be?
The ability of the parents to communicate and cooperate.
It takes a degree of maturity to communicate. It takes practice to do it often with people close to you. That should help you reach a sensible private custody agreement. One that is in the best interests of the child. Maturity should drive the will to see the agreements revolve around the child. Communication should lubricate the process of writing the terms acceptable to all.
The cost and time involved.
A private custody agreement can be less expensive. It is time-consuming to get a court-ordered custody agreement. Parents failing to reach an agreement will end up with a face-off in court. It’s going to cost you if you end up in court. A private custody agreement can vary in cost. Depending on how complicated the matter is. It is based on the attorney’s costs. It ought to cost less than going to court. The time it takes to reach a private custody agreement will also vary. With parents collaborating they might have a resolution in a matter of weeks. It could take a while for the opposing parents to come to an agreement. Often, it takes even longer to come to a decision.
The flexibility of the agreement.
A private custody agreement is more flexible. You only need the parties to agree on a certain action. There is no judge to define an outcome. It’s all up to the parties to the extent they can agree on. Enforcing whatever was agreed on with the private custody agreement can be difficult. The court is not involved. A court-ordered custody agreement may be a bit rigid. It will take a judge and a formal process to change it. The process can take a while. Choosing between these two types of agreement is a personal one. It involves your children. There’s no right and wrong choice. What you have is choosing which one serves the interest of your child better.
Your child’s needs should guide you in making decisions about their care. An agreement is a document demanding compliance after you agree to it. Learn about what needs to be in the agreement. The goal is to have an agreement you can live with. Communicate your intentions well. Consider the time and the cost involved. Flexibility is good but it will ask you to compromise. The agreement you are about to enter will demand much from your life. Make it work for you and your children.
How would you know if you have the right custody agreement?
One of the most important decisions you will make in a divorce is about child custody. You will enter into an agreement with your co-parent. It will not be easy putting what you want in that agreement. You have to make sure that you have the right custody agreement. Few things to consider while putting together that agreement:
- Does the agreement meet the needs of your children? Always think of the best interests of the children. The terms should accommodate the needs of an appropriate age. Parents must consider the level of maturity of their children. Talk to the child about their preference. They may be old enough to communicate their needs. Factor in the ability of the parent to respond to those needs. This is where the meeting of the mind should happen. Commit the right amount of resources to the needs of the child.
- Is the agreement fair to both parents? A good agreement allows parents an opportunity to take part in their children’s lives. Neither parent should be unduly burdened. Both parents must be comfortable with the terms. Agree with them without reservations. It should be flexible enough to accommodate their respective circumstance. The agreement must be enforceable.
- Is the agreement flexible enough to accommodate changes? Remember that life happens. Circumstances may change over time. Allow for shifts in employment, health, or living conditions. It should have a provision for mediation or arbitration. The agreement must allow for changes in circumstances.
- Do you feel comfortable with the agreement? You should feel comfortable with the agreement. The first thing is to focus on your child. The agreement must address your child’s needs. Then it should address both the parent’s need to keep your relationship. It must consider your work schedule. It must allow you to be involved in your child’s life. Talk to an attorney if you have doubts. Get their advice.
The idea is to get yes as an answer to all the questions. If you get yes to all you are likely to have the right custody agreement for your family. For any doubts or concerns, it is always best to talk to an attorney to get their advice.
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