Long-term marriages that end in divorce are known as silver divorces or silver-gray divorces, and the cause is not simply getting older or being married for 25 years. It alludes to unions where one partner is retired or both are older. Is there a process for handling a silver divorce?
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A silver or gray divorce frequently begins soon after the youngest child of a pair leaves for college or when one or both spouses retire. Couples have a lot more time to themselves if they transition from working life to retirement in an “empty nest.” Unfortunately, a lot of couples discover they have drifted away over time without even realizing it. Additionally, they could have various expectations for retirement, intending to continue living active lives as adults or viewing it as a time to unwind.
Gray Divorces, Silver Divorces, They’re All On The Rise
People who are this old may amass more riches or have greater marital estates, but the divorce procedure is the same for everyone. Couples of this age will have health difficulties to take into account. Pre-existing medical requirements will be taken into account when dividing the property. Although the court already uses the 50/50 equitable framework, it may make certain adjustments to account for the requirements of couples going through a silver divorce.
We posted an article about long-term marriages entitled “Gray Divorce & Preparing To Be Alone” in our Legal Blog here. Apparently, even the U.S. statistic we mentioned is not unique. The rising divorce rates seem to be a trend globally.
The rise of gray divorces is not just happening in the US. The same trends are present in Japan, Europe, Australia, Canada, the United Kingdom, India, and the rest of the world. According to Canada’s national statistical agency, the number of “gray divorces” among people 55 and older, including people 65 and older, has been steadily rising.
The rates are anticipated to rise as more people live longer. According to the Office for National Statistics in the UK, the divorce rate among people 55 and older, sometimes known as “silver splitters” and “silver surfers,” has doubled since 2017. In the last 20 years, the divorce rate for Japanese couples who have been married for at least 30 years has quadrupled. It is known as “Retired Husband Syndrome” in Japan.
Ending Marriage, Relationships, Happiness, and Living Longer
People who file for divorce beyond the age of 50 say they desire something more and different. Many of them witnessed the divorces of their friends’ parents as well as their own parents as they were growing up. They grew up during the divorce epidemic of the late 1960s to the early 1980s and are more likely to have married as young adults, divorced, and then remarried.
Some people have endured unhappy marriages for many years. Some people hardly ever speak to their wives. They express loneliness and a sense of estrangement from their spouses and inquire, “Is this all there is? ” A recurring theme is “Staying in this shell of a marriage is killing me.” What they say and how they feel are supported by the results of the Harvard Study of Adult Development. As they enter the next phase of their lives, they hope that pleasure, contentment, and joy are in store for them.
One of the world’s longest adult life studies, the Harvard Study of Adult Development, monitored the lives of two groups of men for more than 80 years. According to psychiatrist George Vaillant, the study’s previous director, when it first started in 1938, no one was interested in attachment or empathy. But relationships, relationships, and more relationships are the secret to aging well.
The study’s current director, Dr. Robert Waldinger, asserted in his well-regarded 2015 TED talk that the participants’ cholesterol levels in middle age did not accurately indicate how they would age. It was their level of relationship satisfaction. The healthiest individuals at age 80 were those who were the happiest in their relationships at age 50.
The study’s unexpected conclusion, according to Waldinger, is that while taking care of our bodies is crucial, so is taking care of our relationships. He revealed the study’s three key takeaways:
[1] We benefit greatly from our social interactions, but loneliness is deadly.
[2] Conflict has a very negative impact on our health.
[3] Healthy connections do more than only keep our bodies safe. They protect our minds.
Abuse of the mind, body, and emotions drives spouses to seek safety. Spouses are driven to look for relief from betrayal caused by financial irregularities. People realize that they are dissatisfied and unhappy since they are not fulfilling the dream they had when they got married decades ago. They plan to pursue personal happiness in the ensuing decades.
Divorce and Property Division
The problems frequently arising now when couples divorce after age 50 were rare in the past when marriages lasting for 30 years were frequently considered to be forever.
But times do change. Individuals live longer. It seems more familiarity can occasionally breed more contempt.
One in four people going through a divorce now, which is double the rate from just 20 years ago, is over 50. And even though 55-year-old couples going through a divorce may not have to argue as much about child custody as 30-year-old couples may, there are still a lot of issues that need to be resolved and were examined far less frequently when “Silver Separations” were less popular.
The physical and financial connection created when a couple marries must ultimately be broken up and resolved in order for a divorce to be finalized. In order for the court to answer the frequently complex question of “who leaves with what” when a marriage is legally dissolved, each divorce entails an inventory of the property, assets, and other things acquired and/or possessed by a couple both before and during the marriage.
Although there is a nearly equal starting point for the courts, a number of factors affect the final decision on property division.
Prenuptial agreements.
Prenuptial agreements have the power to change how an estate is distributed. Many people who possessed assets or anticipated inheriting assets used prenups to specify how their property would be divided. The analysis goes on even if there is a prenuptial agreement, especially one that was written years ago. To achieve the judge’s preferred division, courts may attempt to “invade” one spouse’s otherwise independent property. The proverb “the devil is in the details” perfectly describes this situation.
Separate property versus marital property.
Separate property could include assets a party brought into the marriage or those a party got through gift or inheritance during the marriage. A judge’s first task in dividing property is to determine what is “marital” and what is “separate.” On the other hand, property acquired during the marriage or brought into the marriage as a result of the marriage belongs to the marriage. It is obviously not so clear in the hazy world of the law. Through the frequently unintentional activities of the parties themselves, property that one party claims is “absolutely mine” can become martial.
Divorce and Spousal Support
Support is likely if one spouse frequently stays at home and the other makes a sizable income. Support is likely if the former breadwinner is now retired but still generates more income than the other person, such as from social security benefits, retirement, and interest.
It is more likely in the elder set’s larger estates that each party will win sizable property awards that could result in sizable salaries. To decide whether to grant support, the court will look at the potential income of each party.
The court may also take into account a party’s unique medical expenses. Costs associated with medications, therapies, and caregivers may come up in divorce proceedings involving older couples.
Be aware of the costs of living after divorce. You might need to stick to a budget that accounts for your daily spending, rent or mortgage, transportation, and other costs roughly corresponding to your pre-divorce lifestyle. The judgment would have been just enough to guarantee that you receive a fair portion of the property split and spousal support payments. Nevertheless, you must ensure there is a reliable source of income to see you through the rest of your life.
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