Why This Matters: A divorce can be a very slow process. It can feel like it will never end. Knowing why it takes so long can help you feel more in control. This guide will explain the common reasons for delays and what you can do to help speed things up.
Why Does the Court System Move So Slowly?
A Judge’s Big Workload: Courts are very busy places. One judge may have hundreds of cases to work on at the same time. This is a big reason why your divorce might be taking a long time. The judge has to find time for every single case on their list.
The Math Problem: A judge once told a lawyer that he had 700 cases but could only handle 40 trials in a year. This shows how much work the courts have. This big backlog of cases means everyone has to wait for their turn. To learn more about this, you can watch our video on this topic.
Steps in the Court Process:
1. Starting the Case: The first step is filing papers with the court to begin.
2. Waiting for a Date: You have to wait for the court to give you a date to see the judge.
3. Court Hearings: Each time you go to court, you may have to wait for the next date.
Things That Take Time:
1. Paperwork: The court needs a lot of papers, and they must be filled out right.
2. Serving Papers: Papers must be given to your spouse in the correct legal way.
3. Court Rules: There are many rules that everyone must follow, which takes time.
Real-Life Example:
A Long Wait: Maria filed for her divorce in January. Because the court was so busy, her first meeting with the judge was not until May. This four-month wait was just due to the court’s full schedule.
How Do Lawyer Schedules Affect My Case?
Busy Lawyers: Your lawyer is likely working on many other cases, not just yours. Their schedule can get very full with court dates for different people. This can make it hard to find times that work for everyone.
Finding a Good Time: The court, your lawyer, and your spouse’s lawyer all need to be free on the same day. Finding a day that works for all three can be very hard. This is another common reason for delays in the divorce process.
People Who Must Be There:
1. You and Your Spouse: Both of you need to be able to attend court dates.
2. Both Lawyers: Each person’s lawyer must be present for all meetings.
3. The Judge: The judge’s schedule is the most important one to work around.
Reasons for Rescheduling:
1. Sickness: Someone might get sick and need to move the court date.
2. Other Cases: A lawyer might have another case that runs longer than expected.
3. Court Emergency: The court might have an emergency that closes it for the day.
Real-Life Example:
A Scheduling Puzzle: Tom’s court date was set for a Tuesday. The day before, his wife’s lawyer had to go to the hospital for an emergency. They had to find a new date, but the next open time for the judge and both lawyers was six weeks later.
What If My Spouse Does Not Want to Help?
Making Things Hard: Sometimes, a divorce takes a long time because one person does not want to help. They may be slow to give papers or refuse to talk about issues. This can create many delays and make things harder for everyone.
Causing More Work: If your spouse is not helpful, your lawyer may have to ask the court for help. This means filing more papers and having more court meetings. Each of these steps adds more time to your divorce case.
Actions That Cause Delays:
1. Ignoring Requests: Your spouse may ignore requests for important papers or information.
2. Missing Deadlines: They may miss deadlines set by the court for turning things in.
3. Not Signing Papers: They might refuse to sign papers that you both need to agree on.
How to Handle a Slow Spouse:
1. Ask the Court for Help: Your lawyer can ask the judge to order your spouse to act.
2. Keep Good Records: Write down every time your spouse causes a delay.
3. Stay Calm: Getting angry will not help. Let your lawyer handle the problems.
Real-Life Example:
Hiding Information: Sarah asked her husband for records about his job. He kept saying he would get them but never did. After two months, Sarah’s lawyer had to ask the court to force him to hand over the papers, which added a lot of time to the case.
How Do Fights Make a Divorce Take Longer?
More Fighting, More Time: Cases with a lot of anger and fighting are called high-conflict cases. These cases almost always take longer than cases where people can agree. When you fight about every little thing, you create more work for the lawyers and the court.
The Need for Court Decisions: If you and your spouse cannot agree, the judge has to decide for you. To make a good choice, the judge needs a lot of information. This leads to more court dates and more time spent on your case.
Common Areas of Fights:
1. Money and Property: Deciding who gets what can lead to big arguments.
2. Child Care: Making choices about the children is often a source of fighting.
3. Support Payments: Figuring out who pays who can be a difficult talk.
Results of Too Much Fighting:
1. Higher Lawyer Bills: The more you fight, the more you pay your lawyers.
2. More Stress: Constant fighting is very stressful for you and your family.
3. A Longer Case: Fighting is one of the top reasons a divorce drags on.
Real-Life Example:
An Argument Over Furniture: Ben and Lisa argued for three months about who would get the living room sofa. This small fight led to extra lawyer fees and a long delay. In the end, the judge had to make the choice for them.
What is “Discovery” and Why Does It Take Time?
Finding Out Facts: “Discovery” is the special name for the time set aside to find out all the facts. Both sides get to ask questions and ask for papers from the other person. This process helps make sure everyone has the same information before going to the judge.
The Process Can Be Slow: Getting all the needed information can take a long time. You may need to get bank records, pay stubs, and other important papers. If the other side is slow to give you what you ask for, it will delay everything. Finding good Michigan divorce attorneys can help manage this process.
Things You Ask For:
1. Bank Records: These show how much money there is and how it was spent.
2. Job Information: This includes how much each person earns.
3. Property Papers: These are papers for a house, cars, or other big things.
Why This Step Is Important:
1. Fair Decisions: The judge needs all the facts to make a fair choice.
2. No Surprises: It helps make sure there are no surprises in court.
3. Helps People Agree: When everyone sees the same facts, it can be easier to agree.
Real-Life Example:
A Hidden Bank Account: During the fact-finding time, Jane’s lawyer found a bank account her husband had not told her about. Finding this took extra time and work from her lawyer. But it was important to make sure their property was split up fairly.
What Can I Do to Help My Case Move Faster?
Be a Helper: You can play a big part in making your divorce go faster. One of the best things you can do is be very organized. You can also help your lawyer by doing some of the simple work yourself.
Gather Your Papers: Your lawyer will need a lot of papers from you. You can help by getting all your papers together early on. Make copies of bank records, bills, and tax forms. The more you have ready, the less time your lawyer has to spend looking for them.
Ways You Can Be Organized:
1. Make a Folder: Keep all your divorce papers in one place so you can find them easily.
2. Create a Timeline: Write down important dates and events in your marriage.
3. List Your Property: Make a list of everything you own, both together and on your own.
Tasks You Can Help With:
1. Making Copies: You can make copies of papers for your lawyer.
2. Dropping Off Papers: You might be able to drop papers off at the courthouse.
3. Getting Records: You can ask your bank or work for records that are needed.
Real-Life Example:
Ready From Day One: When David first met his lawyer, he brought a box with all of his financial papers sorted by year. His lawyer was very happy and said this would save them many hours of work. Because David was so organized, his case moved much more smoothly.
How Does a Willingness to Talk Help?
Talking Is Faster Than Fighting: A divorce will go much faster if you are willing to talk and agree with your spouse. When you can make choices together, you do not have to wait for a judge to decide for you. This saves a lot of time and also reduces the cost of the divorce.
Finding a Middle Ground: Being willing to talk does not mean you have to give up on everything you want. It means you are open to finding a middle ground that works for both of you. This can make a big difference in how long your divorce takes.
Benefits of Talking:
1. You Stay in Control: You and your spouse make the choices, not a judge.
2. It Is Less Stressful: Talking is much calmer than fighting in court.
3. It Saves Money: You will spend much less on lawyer fees if you can agree.
Ways to Help You Agree:
1. Use a Mediator: A mediator is a person who helps two people talk and find answers.
2. Talk Through Lawyers: Your lawyers can talk to each other to work things out.
3. Focus on the Goal: Remember that the goal is to finish the divorce and move on.
Real-Life Example:
A Quick Agreement: Mike and Susan disagreed on who should keep the family car. Instead of going to court, they sat down with their lawyers for one afternoon. After a few hours of talking, they agreed that Susan would keep the car and Mike would get some money for it, ending the issue quickly.
Why Should I Choose My Battles?
You Cannot Win Every Fight: In a divorce, you cannot fight about every single thing. If you try to, your case will take forever and cost you a lot of money. It is very important to decide what matters most to you and focus on those things.
Let the Small Things Go: You have to learn to let the small things go. Is it really worth fighting for weeks over a piece of furniture or a set of dishes? If you learn to “choose your battles wisely,” you will save a lot of time, money, and stress. This is key in a contested divorce, where fights can cause major delays.
Things Worth Fighting For:
1. Your Children’s Well-Being: Your kids should always be your top focus.
2. Your Financial Future: Make sure you have what you need to live after the divorce.
3. The Family Home: If staying in your home is very important, then fight for it.
Things to Let Go Of:
1. Small Household Items: You can always buy a new toaster or new towels.
2. Old Photos: You can get copies made. Don’t fight over the original picture.
3. Winning for the Sake of Winning: Don’t fight just because you want to be right.
Real-Life Example:
A Fight Over a Picture: A couple spent over a thousand dollars in lawyer fees fighting over a single framed picture. They both wanted it because it had bad memories for the other person. In the end, the fight cost more than the picture was worth and made their divorce take two months longer.
What Should Be My Main Focus?
Think About What Is Important: Before you start fighting, take some time to think. What are the things you truly cannot live without? Make a list of what is most important to you. This list will help you and your lawyer know where to put your energy.
Focus on Your Kids: If you have children, their well-being should be at the top of your list. Fights between parents are very hard on kids. By focusing on what is best for them, you can often find ways to agree with your spouse more easily.
How to Find Your Focus:
1. Make a List: Write down your top three to five goals for the divorce.
2. Think About the Future: Picture your life one year after the divorce is over. What do you need?
3. Talk to Your Lawyer: Ask your lawyer for help in deciding what is most important.
Good Goals to Have:
1. A Good Plan for the Kids: Make sure they feel safe and loved by both parents.
2. A Fair Share of Money: Get what you need to start your new life.
3. A Peaceful End: Try to end the marriage without too much anger or hate.
Real-Life Example:
Putting the Kids First: Mark was very angry at his wife, but he knew their two young kids needed both parents. He decided not to fight over small things and focused all his energy on creating a good parenting plan with her. Because he focused on the kids, they were able to work together better and finish their divorce much faster.
How Can Being Smart Save Me Time and Money?
Think Before You Act: Being smart in a divorce means thinking about the results of your actions. Every fight and every delay has a cost. Before you decide to argue about something, ask yourself if it is truly worth the time and money it will take.
Use Your Lawyer Wisely: Your lawyer is there to help you, but their time costs money. Use their time for the big, important issues. Do not call them to complain about small things. This smart use of your lawyer will save you a lot of money in the end.
Smart Choices to Make:
1. Listen to Your Lawyer: They have helped many people and know what is worth a fight.
2. Control Your Feelings: Making choices based on anger often leads to bad results.
3. Be Open to Ideas: Sometimes the best answer is one you did not think of at first.
Ways to Be Smart with Money:
1. Do Some Work Yourself: Gather your own papers to save your lawyer’s time.
2. Try to Agree on Small Things: Settle small issues without lawyer help if you can.
3. Ask About Costs: Understand how much different actions will cost before you do them.
Real-Life Example:
A Costly Email War: One couple sent angry emails back and forth and copied their lawyers on every single one. Each time a lawyer had to read and reply to an email, it cost money. After one month, they had spent over two thousand dollars just on emails about who would pick up the dog.
Extra Insights
The Court’s Waiting Period: In Michigan, there is a waiting period for divorce. If you have no young children, you must wait 60 days. If you have children under 18, the wait is six months. This time is set by law and cannot be skipped, so your divorce will take at least this long.
Temporary Orders Can Help: While you wait for the divorce to be over, life goes on. You can ask the judge for temporary orders. These are rules about who lives in the house, who cares for the kids, and who pays bills while the case is going on. This can make the long wait easier to handle.
We Can Help: It can be very hard when your divorce is taking a long time. If you have questions about your case, you should reach out for help. Our team knows how to handle these problems and can help you find the best way forward.
Contact Us Today:
Phone: (248) 590-6600 (Call/Text)
Consultation: Schedule a free consultation
Website: Visit ChooseGoldman.com
Frequently Asked Questions
1. What is the first thing that causes a divorce to take a long time?
The biggest reason is often the court’s busy schedule. There are many cases and not enough judges or time.
2. Can my spouse make the divorce take longer on purpose?
Yes, if your spouse is not helpful or refuses to turn in papers, it can cause delays. You can watch a video about what to do if your ex is stalling the divorce process.
3. How does having children affect how long a divorce takes?
In Michigan, there is a six-month waiting period if you have children. Cases with kids also have more issues to decide, which can add time.
4. Will my divorce go faster if my spouse and I agree on everything?
Yes, if you agree on all issues, your divorce will be much faster. This is because you do not need a judge to decide things for you.
5. What is the most expensive part of a long divorce?
The most expensive part is usually lawyer fees. The more you and your spouse fight, the more you will pay your lawyers.
6. Can I do anything to speed up the court?
No, you cannot speed up the court system itself. You can only control your own actions to make sure you are not causing delays.
7. How can being organized save me money?
When you give your lawyer all your papers in a neat way, they spend less time looking for information. This saves you money on their hourly bill.
8. What does “choosing your battles” mean?
It means you should only fight about the things that are very important. Let go of the small things to save time and money.
9. Is it a bad sign if my lawyer is very busy?
Not always, as good lawyers are often in high demand. But you should make sure they still have enough time for your case.
10. How long does a typical divorce take?
A simple divorce with no fighting can be over in a few months. A complex case with a lot of fighting can take more than a year, as explained in our video about how long the divorce process can take.
11. Why do we need to do “discovery” if we already know all the facts?
This process makes sure both sides have the exact same information. It is a legal step to prevent surprises in court.
12. What is the best way to keep my divorce from taking too long?
The best way is to be willing to talk and agree with your spouse whenever you can. Working together is always faster than fighting.