The child exhibits dread or a lack of desire to visit the home of one parent in this circumstance. The scenario is that the child refuses to leave Mom when Dad picks him up. The child doesn’t want to leave Dad when Mom comes for pick up. We must acknowledge that children can be unpredictable. What does it mean when a youngster cries as they say goodbye to Dad? Does this imply that the child doesn’t want to visit Mom? Perhaps the child doesn’t want to return to a situation at home. A situation where the parents are no longer living together. What to do when a child expresses fear when going to the parent’s home?
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What is a parent meant to do, in their position? What duties does the parent have? Does the parent have the authority to let or forbid the children to see the other parent? Certainly not. You cannot decide to do something that is in opposition to a court order. You do not have the authority to permit or prohibit the child from visiting the other parent. The judge who gave you the custody and parenting time order is the only one who has the authority to do that. You must return to that judge if you want to review that ruling. Move to change the parenting time.
Do you have the option to do parenting time or not?
Parenting and the parent-child bond are so important. Laws, national policies, and state policies are geared toward safeguarding them. The lack of parental choice over how much time to spend with children during the day reinforces this. Maintaining the cohesion of the family as much as possible is enforced.
Children under the age of 18 cannot determine for themselves the parent they will live with. Children cannot decline required visitation under a custody arrangement. The rules must be followed by parents as well as children. The primary custodial parent must convince a stubborn child to cooperate. Follow the rules of visitation.
A parenting time order is a court order based on the Child Custody Act of 1970. This is Act 91 of 1970. It is especially cited in Michigan Compiled Laws (MCL) 722.27a. The MCL specifies parenting time. The Michigan Supreme Court enforces this Act. It works through the family court in each Michigan County. Each County has a designated Friend of the Court or FOC. They are assisting and supporting the Family Court. The FOC investigates custody and visitation disputes. Decisions on child support, parenting time, and custody are often recommended by the FOC.
A parenting time agreement is a commitment made by parents. It is a commitment to spend a certain amount of time and space with their children as ordered by the court. A court order mandates that this be done. You cannot merely make up reasons to avoid parenting time. You cannot orchestrate and manipulate situations to deny the other parent parenting time. You cannot limit or adjust parenting time without the judge’s consent. It is a court-mandated requirement.
A parenting time order has very few exceptions unless the parent behaves in a way that is damaging to the child. This behavior could be showing up drunk. It could be driving your child somewhere while intoxicated. The court might grant certain requests. To stop a recurrence, you must have your lawyer submit a request to impose conditions.
What are the reasons why a child is having fear or anxiety during parenting time?
Your child’s in refusing to go with the other parent could have a very legitimate reason. Most often you’re dealing with a teenage child’s obstinacy. These are the most likely reasons your child is having difficulties spending time with your ex-spouse are as follows:
[ a ] Only one parent will let the child attend the event, despite the child’s desire to do so.
[ b ] The other parent and your child have never really connected.
[ c ] The child is not amiable enough for the other child from a previous relationship. Your child can clash with the new partner of the other parent.
[ d ] The school, classmates, and extracurricular activities are far from the co-parent’s home. The child is fighting and rebelling against the strict house rules set by the other parent.
[ e ] The child has a growing animosity toward the other parent. The child is blaming your co-parent for the divorce. You may have contributed to this animosity if you are disparaging your co-parent. This can be the underlying reason why your child feels upset. Parental alienation is driven by you disparaging your co-parent in front of your child. You can get in trouble with the court if there is evidence against you.
As a parent, you may, of course, support your child’s decision not to go anywhere. Your child won’t have to go with the other parent for the following legally sound reasons:
[ a ] Currently, the other parent is behind bars or in prison.
[ b ] The parent uses drugs excessively or suffers from a substance use disorder (SUD)
[ c ] The youngster is typically the victim of either verbal or physical abuse from the other parent.
[ d ] Sexual impropriety exists, such as when a kid is exposed to highly provocative sexual activity.
[ e ] The high probability of parental kidnapping.
Parents might worry about their child’s behavior. The parent would rather be on the side of caution. No one can suggest that you return your child to the care of the other parent. This can be a choice if your child admits to having been physically abused. Your child may have been sexually assaulted, or subjected to other forms of abuse by that parent. You should seek the court for monitored visits besides denying visitation.
What can you do as a parent to lessen this fear or anxiety during parenting time?
You must “persuade” your child to spend time with the other parent. You have to follow the court’s decision. Consider implementing some of the strategies that have proven successful with other parents. These other parents have to cope with a resistant child.
Dig deeper. Find out more about the cause of the attitude.
Determine the factors that are preventing your child from visiting the other parent. Your child can’t fathom yet the ramification of disobeying a court order. Ask them why they aren’t going instead of simply compelling them to. Learn more about how to get around the refusal. If you show compassion and sympathy for their situation, your child may agree to visits.
You are the adult. Keep that in mind. Be the parent in the conversation.
Keep in mind you are the parent. You are the decision-maker in this situation, not your child. A soft, gentle approach might not be successful. You are the best person to assess your child’s requirements. You could feel awful about making your child do something they don’t want to.
Call the other parent and speak with them.
When your child declines, call the other parent and try to get them to hear from the child why they are declining. The child may cooperate better with the other parent. You won’t be charged with purposely defying court instructions. Word of mouth is easier to brush off than a digital footprint like SMS and phone records.
Start making notes about all this defiance.
Record each occasion when your youngster declines a visit. To keep a list, ask your youngster the same question each time. Get evidence to support your claims and those of your child. The other parent can accuse you. In later hearings, the co-parent might attempt to show that you haven’t complied. It can be damaging to your custody case.
Ensure every pick-up and drop-off is stress-free.
Make picking up and dropping off a breeze. Your frequent arguments with your co-parent can be a cause of your child’s fear or anxiety. The constant arguments during transitions drive the unwillingness to attend the visitation. Your co-parent is going to provoke you during custody changes. Shut your mouth. Carry yourself as a mature and responsible parent should. Make sure your child’s suitcase is packed. Ensure all preparations and packing have been done in advance. Your child is departing for an extended visitation. Anxiety may be triggered by something that can be preventable. Actions such as hurrying around the house and ignoring sentimental items.
Continue to encourage kids.
Promote trips endlessly. Never give up after one refusal. Discuss parenting time with your child. Find moments for conversation not just during pick up and drop off.
Beyond a certain age, children can decide which parent they choose to live with the majority of the time. A judge in Michigan takes the child’s preference into account. The judge won’t unless they find that the child has the mental capacity to do so. The child must be able to form and express a reasonable desire for custody and visitation.
Beyond a certain age, children can decide which parent they choose to live with the majority of the time. A judge in Michigan takes the child’s preference into account. The judge won’t unless they find that the child has the mental capacity to do so. The child must be able to form and express a reasonable desire for custody and visitation.
The judge can assume a child older than six may express a reasonable custody preference. It does not mean that every child in that age range can. It also does not imply judges will not consider the opinions of children. Certain children can be mature above their years. Situations can make it more difficult for older children to develop good judgment.
A child can be capable of deciding custody and visitation. The judge must determine if the child has communicated a reasonable option. This doesn’t imply that the young person must elaborate on their intention. It simply means that it isn’t motivated by silly or unimportant factors.
The ability to refuse visits does not exist for children. A custody agreement requires visitation up until the child turns 18. The child can be deemed to be of legal emancipation. Rules must be followed by both parents and children. The primary physical custodial parent has a duty. The parent has to convince a rebellious child to take part in visitation.
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Goldman & Associates Law Firm is here to with information about Child Custody and Divorce in the State of Michigan.