Some people invent the truth when they lie. For some people, accuracy and truth don’t seem to ever coexist in the same space. You recently learned that you are one of the unlucky ones who married one. In your own custody dispute, you now have to deal with a dishonest ex-spouse. Your attorney is now aware of it. The detailed description of your ex-spouse was provided by you. However, you can’t call your lawyer only to confess to every small fib or major lie that has nothing to do with the situation or case at hand. You can’t be paying for expenses with invoices that list the lies you’ve already exposed.
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You must spend your attorney’s time wisely in order to win your custody battle without incurring a significant cost down the road. For those unimportant details your ex is lying about, go speak with your therapist, your priest, or a friend. Your attorney’s time and skills would be better used helping you.
Nobody enjoys being misled or lied about. The stakes and emotions in divorce and child custody proceedings are already very high. It’s possible that lying and gaslighting played a role in your breakup. However, false accusations or denials in court can turn any remaining communication and collaboration between ex-spouses into a hostile situation.
What Do People Lie About in a Custody Case?
If your ex will have to lie in a custody case, what are they going to be lying about? What is it that is worth the risk of lying about and being possibly sanctioned if caught.
Spouses lie about their income.
The most frequent instance of false information about income includes a spouse who is self-employed. Pay stubs are going to reveal the truth, therefore the average wage earner wouldn’t have any incentive to lie about the facts.
There will be additional opportunities for freelancers, self-employed people, and others who operate “under the table” to hide their genuine income.
Being thorough with your records and getting your ex to swear under oath about their income are two ways to refute their claims. Most people come clean when asked about their income since lying while being questioned about it could result in perjury penalties. It’s imperative to carefully examine tax records, bank statements, and personal expense records; you might need to engage a forensic accountant for this.
Spouses lie about issues regarding child custody and parenting time.
There are far too many instances of co-parents lying about their engagement with or bonding with the children, making false claims of neglect or abuse, or denying it when it actually did occur.
You must go to court as prepared as you can when your ex-spouse is so anxious to destroy you that they will lie to harm your connection with your child. Work with a seasoned family law professional who has handled cases involving intense child custody disputes. To refute their accusations, the more information and eyewitnesses you have, the better.
Spouses lie about assets.
Some people have ulterior motives for lying about the presence or value of assets, such as not wanting their ex to inherit anything. However, if the falsehood is found, it might have catastrophic repercussions, including the opposite party losing the entire asset.
Because there is frequently a clear paper trail, assets like bank accounts and homes are frequently challenging to conceal. Things like intellectual property and franchises, money, collectibles, and retirement accounts might be easier to track. Additionally, it’s not uncommon for a spouse to “repay” a substantial “debt” to a friend, family member, or work associate while actually using marital cash for safe-keeping.
Parents and spouses lie about domestic violence.
An ex may accuse the other of domestic abuse while making false claims, or they may deny that domestic violence ever took place. We have found that the latter is more typical.
These issues are difficult because they are really serious and frequently include he said/she said. Results may have an impact on matters such as restraining orders, child custody, parenting time, and even asset split.
Evidence is crucial. Those things comprise witness accounts, as well as images, messages, recordings, voicemails, emails, and texts. It would be more likely to support a denial if there was no evidence at all or no witness testimony.
Why Do People Lie in a Custody Case?
People lie in a custody case because telling the truth puts them in a disadvantage. They need to appear better than the other parent. For some they believe strongly the gains of lying are higher than if they speak the truth. Let’s look at the reasons why.
People lie because they have something to hide.
The prevalence of domestic violence or abuse can be a reason to lie. Child Protective Services or CPS may eventually root this out but a hidden atmosphere of abuse can be kept secret considerably and this could be a motivation for lying.
Parents with substance use disorder or SUD often resort to lying in order not to lose points in a custody case or not to compromise parenting time. We’ve written a good article on SUD entitled, “How Addiction Struggles Impacts Custody in Michigan” and how it affects the outcome of custody cases.
Unfaithfulness among spouses can be a driver of lying and often a strong motivation not to cooperate, especially during the discovery phase of the divorce process.
People lie out of spite.
We’ve written about a malicious parent and the extent they will go and the most insidious use of lying to their detriment and their family. We wrote about this in our article, “What Is Malicious Mother Syndrome In Michigan?”. In that article we talked about the malicious parent syndrome.
It goes without saying that some of the actions linked to the “malicious parent syndrome” are unlawful, such as hurting the other parent or destroying their property. Depriving children of food or money may constitute child abuse, which is prohibited by both family and criminal law, and may be done in an effort to harm the reputation of the other parent. A spiteful parent could face perjury charges if they do so, which is similar to lying on oath.
People lie because it is part of a personality disorder.
A person who has narcissistic personality disorder may lie to exaggerate their own virtues or disparage others. They take pleasure in shaping the facts and the lives of others. By manipulating the court and outsmarting the opposition, they could feel energized and powerful. Deception, manipulation, and disdain for authority are traits of an antisocial personality disorder. They are excellent at flouting the rules and are frequently referred to as “con artists.” To seek retaliation or money, they create specific occurrences and utilize the legal system. They frequently engage in violence due to their incessant lying and lack of empathy.
An individual with a histrionic personality disorder is frequently very dramatic, demanding, and superficially appealing. They are adept at lying and deceiving themselves. Also typical is fabrication.
In an effort to retain a relationship with their child or spouse—or as retaliation for abandonment—a person with a borderline personality disorder may lie out of rage or even out of self-deception. Custody and visitation disputes are frequent.
What Consequences Will You Face if You Lie in a Custody Case?
Even the most composed and level-headed people might engage in mud-slinging or slander since divorce cases can lead to spouses’ unhappiness, fury, or worse. Even though they may first appear to be minor disputes, serious issues will arise if one or both spouses in a marriage begin to exaggerate events or use “innocent” lies in an effort to appear more favorable in court.
Although it would be ideal if divorce proceedings were a little less contentious and lying about things didn’t occur, the reality is that perjury—or lying under oath—occurs rather frequently and many individuals often forget it is a federal offense with associated consequences.
A court may impose a fine or sentence someone to jail time for lying. Additionally, breaking the law by lying under oath can result in up to 15 years in state prison.
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Goldman & Associates Law Firm is here to with information about Child Custody and Divorce in the State of Michigan.