When parents stop living together, they worry most about their kids. They ask, “Who will the kids live with?” This page helps moms and dads in Michigan learn how judges pick. You can also watch this video. Akiva Goldman tells more there.
Do Judges Pick Moms More Than Dads?
Not About Mom or Dad: Judges in Michigan do not just pick moms. They do not just pick dads. It is not about if a parent is a man or a woman. The biggest thing is what is best for the child.
Child Comes First: The judge looks at many things. They want to help the child be happy. They want the child to be safe. The law says to think of the child’s needs first. To learn more, read about what is best for the child in Michigan.
What Judges See: Child’s Love: Who the child loves and feels near to.
Good Ways: Who can teach the child good ways to act.
Child’s Needs: Who can give the child food and a safe home.
More Things Judges See: Same Life: Helping kids keep life the same if it is good.
Parent’s Health: If a parent is well and can care for a child.
Child’s Idea: If a child is old enough, the judge may ask what they think.
A Short Story – Sue and Ben: Sue and Ben were parents. They did not live together now. They both loved their son, Max. The judge saw who took Max to school. The judge saw who helped Max when he was sick. The judge made a plan. Both Sue and Ben could help care for Max.
What Does “Best for the Child” Mean?
Top Rule for Judges: “Best for the child” is the top rule. It means judges look at all parts of a child’s life. They want the child to grow up safe. They want the child to feel loved.
Looking at All Sides: This means school is looked at. Friends are looked at. Home life is looked at. The judge thinks how much each parent loves the child. The plan should help the child be well.
Feeling Safe: The child must feel safe with the parent.
Good Home: The child needs a good and steady home.
Parent’s Help: Can the parent give love and teach good things?
Other Key Parts: Life Stays Calm: Can a parent keep the child’s day calm and smooth?
Child’s Links: The child’s links to home, school, and friends.
Parents Help Each Other: Can parents work together for the child?
A Short Story – Kim’s School: Kim’s parents made a new plan. Kim loved her school. She loved her friends there. The judge thought Kim should stay in her school. The plan for Kim let her keep going to her same school.
Do Moms Have a Better Chance Now?
Old Ways Change: Long ago, some folks thought moms were always better for young kids. Numbers did show that moms often had the kids live with them. But this idea is not so strong now.
Both Parents Are Key: Now, judges know dads are very key for kids too. The numbers are not the main point. What is best for that one child in that family is most key. Another good video is ‘Which Parent Is Most Likely to Get Custody?’
Why Ways Change: Being Fair: Judges want to be fair to moms and dads.
Dads Do More: Dads help with kids more now than long ago.
Child Does Well: Kids often do best if both parents help raise them.
What Judges Look for Now:
Who Cares Best: Which parent can give the daily care a child needs.
Parent’s Love: The love each parent has for the child.
Who Cared Before: Who was the main one looking after the child.
A Short Story – Dan the Dad: Dan was a dad. He always helped his kids with school work. He took them to games. He and his wife split up. The judge saw Dan was a very busy parent. The plan let Dan be a big part of his kids’ lives each week.
What is “Sharing Care” in Michigan?
Parents Share the Job: Judges in Michigan like it when parents “share care.” This means both parents help raise the child. They both make big choices for the child.
Working Like a Team: Kids often do better when parents are a team. Sharing care means both parents are with the child. They share choices about school and health. You can learn about parents sharing care in Michigan.
Why Sharing is Liked: Good for Child: Kids feel safe when both parents are in their lives.
Parents’ Rights: Both parents have a right to help raise their child.
Sharing Work: It shares the job and fun of being a parent.
How Sharing Works: Share Choices: Parents pick big things together, like doctors or schools.
Share Time: The child lives some time with both parents.
Good Talk: Parents need to talk well about what the child needs.
A Short Story – Pam and Lou Share: Pam and Lou chose to share care for their son, Tom. They both went to Tom’s school events. They talked each week about Tom. This helped Tom feel he had two good parents who cared.
What if I Wanted Full Say, Not Shared Care?
Why Judges Share: Some parents feel sad if they want to be the main one for choices. The judge might say they have to share. They may think their lawyer was not good. But judges in Michigan want parents to share.
Lawyers Try Hard: A lawyer can do a very good job. The judge might still pick a shared plan. This is because judges are told that two parents helping is usually best for a child. This is true in most places now.
Why Judges Pick Shared Care:
Child is Better: They think kids do well with two parents helping.
New Way: It is a newer way to think about raising kids.
State Wants It: Michigan laws and judges like this shared way.
If You Feel This: Ask Your Lawyer: Ask why the judge chose this plan.
Think of Child: Know the plan is for what is best for your child.
Try to Work Well: Making a shared plan work can be good for your child.
A Short Story – Dave’s Plan: Dave hoped he would make all choices for his girl. The judge picked a shared plan with Dave’s ex-wife. Dave felt bad first. His lawyer said this is how it often is. Dave then tried hard to make the shared plan good for his girl.
Is All the USA Moving to Shared Parenting?
A Big Change: Yes, it looks like all of the USA is moving to shared parenting. It is like a big swing. It is swinging that way now. Judges see good things when both parents help with a child’s life.
Focus on Two Parents: Old ideas about one parent being best are going away. The new way is to see how both parents can help. This is seen as better for kids as they grow. For more on this, see the video ‘Who Wins Custody Battles?’
Why This Change: New Facts: New studies show kids do better if both parents help.
Families Change: More dads help raise kids from when they are small.
Fair Ideas: People think it is fair for both parents to have a say.
What This Means: Be Ready to Share: Parents should know that sharing care is often the plan.
Show You Can Work Well: Judges like parents who can talk and plan for their child.
Think of Your Child: Always show you will do what is best for your child.
A Short Story – USA Trend: A family in Michigan had friends in a far state. Those friends also found the judge there wanted them to share care of their son. This showed it was not just Michigan. It was a big new way of thinking.
Can a Dad Get the Main Say for a Child?
Yes, Dads Can: A dad can be picked to be the main one to care for a child. This can be if he shows he has done most of the care. Or, he can show he works hard for what is best for the child.
Show What You Do: You must show the judge what you do for your child. It is more than just saying you love your child. It is showing how you help them each day. A Michigan lawyer for child care cases can help you.
How Dads Can Show: Daily Help: He helps with food, baths, and bed time.
School Help: He helps with school work and talks to the school.
Doctor Help: He takes the child to the doctor and knows their health.
What Else Helps a Dad:
Lots of Love: He shows a strong, loving link with the child.
Good Home: He has a safe and good home for the child.
Wants to Share Child: He is ready to help the child have a good link with the other parent too.
A Short Story – Matt the Main Dad: Matt’s wife worked very late. Matt always got their boy, Sam, set for school. He got Sam’s lunch. He helped Sam read. When Matt and his wife split, the judge saw Matt was the main one caring for Sam. The judge made a plan for this.
What Does the Judge Look at to Pick?
Judge’s Big Job: The judge has the power to pick the plan. The judge will look hard at all the facts. This means looking at papers. It means hearing what people say.
All for the Child: The judge’s main job is to know what is best for that child. They hear from both parents. Then they use what they know and the law. They make the best plan for the child.
Facts Judges See: What People Say: Words from parents or others who know the family.
Notes and Papers: School notes, doctor notes, or parent notes.
Child Needs Notes: A helper may write notes about what the child needs.
How Judges Think: Be Fair: Try to be fair but put the child first.
Child is Safe: Make sure the child will be safe and well.
Good Future: Think what will help the child grow up well.
A Short Story – Judge Looks Close: A judge heard from two parents. The judge also read notes they sent each other about their child. This helped the judge see who thought more of the child’s needs. The judge then made a good plan.
How Key is Each Parent’s Home?
A Safe, Good Home: The home each parent can give is very key. A judge wants to know if the child will have a safe, clean home. It is not about a big house. It is not about a fancy house.
Calm Life is Key: It is more about a home where the child feels safe. A home where the child can do well in school is good. A home with good food and love is what judges look for. This helps a child feel life is calm.
What Makes a Good Home: Safe First: The home must be safe from all harm.
Child’s Spot: A place for the child to sleep and keep things.
Lots of Love: A home where the child feels love from the parent.
Things That Can Hurt a Home:
Too Many Moves: If a parent moves lots and the child has no set home.
Not Clean or Safe: A home that is not clean or has risks for a child.
New Adult Bad for Child: If a new adult in the home is not good for the child.
A Short Story – Ann’s Place: Ann had a small home. Her ex-man had a big house. But Ann’s home was clean. It was safe. It had books for her son. The judge saw Ann gave a very good and calm home, even if small.
What if Parents Do Not Get Along?
Working Well is Key: Judges like to see parents who get along for their child. Parents need to talk about the child. This is very key for shared care to work. Even if parents do not like each other, they must try.
Child in the Midst: When parents fight lots, it is hard on the child. The child can feel they are in the midst. They may feel they have to pick one parent. This is not good. Judges try to make plans that stop fights.
Why Getting Along Helps:
Child Feels Good: Kids are glad when their parents do not fight.
Easy Choices: It is easy to pick good things for the child when parents talk well.
Good Show: Parents show kids how to fix problems when they work as a team.
If Parents Can’t Agree:
Help from Others: A helper can help parents talk. This can be a friend or a paid helper.
Judge Makes Rules: The judge may make very clear rules if parents can’t agree.
Less Shared Time: If one parent always fights, a judge may give that parent less say.
A Short Story – Fighting Parents: Two parents fought all the time. They could not be in one room. Their child was sad. The judge had to make a very set plan. The plan said who got the child and when. The judge told the parents to get help to talk better.
More Good Ideas:
What to Know Think of Your Child: The top thing is what is best for your child. Always think how your acts will help your child. Show the judge you care for the child, not just about winning.
Be OK to Share: Judges now often want both parents to be a big part of a child’s life. If you can work with the other parent, it helps. This shows you put your child’s need for two parents first.
Frequently Asked Questions:
1. Do moms always get the kids in Michigan?
No. Judges in Michigan look at what is best for the child. It is not just about being a mom or dad.
2. What is the main thing judges want?
The main thing is what is “best for the child.” This means looking at who can give a safe, loving home.
3. Can a dad be the main parent?
Yes. If a dad shows he is best to care for the child, the judge can pick him.
4. My lawyer was great, but we still share care. Why?
This is common. Judges in Michigan want both parents in the child’s life. Shared care is often the plan.
5. Is “joint” care always 50/50 time?
Not always. Joint care means parents share big choices. The time with each parent can be different.
6. Does it count who cared for the child most before?
Yes, this counts a lot. If one parent did most daily care, the judge thinks of that.
7. What if one parent has more cash?
More cash does not mean that parent wins. The judge cares more who gives good care and love.
8. Will the judge ask my child what they want?
If a child is old enough, the judge might ask. But the judge makes the final choice for what is best.
9. What proof should I give the judge?
Show things like school notes or have people talk who know you. Your lawyer can help you know what to show.
10. Do I need a lawyer for a child care case?
A lawyer is a very good idea. These cases are hard. A lawyer knows the law and can help you best.
11. What if the other parent says mean things of me?
Stay calm. Tell your lawyer the truth. The judge will look at all facts, not just what one says.
12. Can a plan for the child be changed later?
Yes. If big things in life change for the child or parents, a plan can sometimes be changed by the court.
Need Help with Your Case? Get Good Help: If you have questions on your own case about your kids, talk to a good lawyer. The team at Goldman and Associates helps people in Michigan. They know these family things well.
Call Us: You can call or text us at (248) 590-6600. You can also get a free time to talk. Click here: Free Talk Time. Or, go to ChooseGoldman.com to see more.