Many parents feel they do not get enough time with their children after a family change. It is normal to want to be a bigger part of your child’s life. If you feel this way, you should know that you can ask for help. The law in Michigan lets parents ask for more time, and understanding how to do it is the first step.
What If I Don’t See My Child Enough?
Feeling Left Out: It can be very hard when you feel you are missing out on your child’s life. You might see pictures of events you were not at or hear stories about things you missed. This feeling is a sign that you may want to change the current schedule you have with your child.
Taking Action: You do not have to just accept the schedule if it is not working. The law allows you to ask for a change. You can tell a judge that you want to be a bigger part of your child’s life and see them more often.
Signs You Need More Time:
- You miss school events or sports games.
- Your child asks to see you more often.
- You have more free time to spend with your child.
First Steps to Consider:
- Talk to the other parent about a new schedule.
- Write down why you think more time is good for your child.
- Get advice from a family law expert.
Example: A father named Mark had his son every other weekend. He got a new job with a better schedule and wanted to help with homework during the week. Mark felt he was not seeing his son enough, so he decided to ask the court for more time.
How Does a Judge Decide on More Time?
The Child’s Best Interest: When a judge looks at your request, their main focus is your child. They will think about what is best for the child’s happiness, safety, and well-being. The judge wants to make sure that any change will make the child’s life better, not harder.
What the Judge Considers: A judge looks at many things to make a choice. They will look at the love and support each parent gives the child. They also look at each parent’s ability to provide food, shelter, and care for the child.
Factors for the Child’s Well-being:
- The child’s relationship with each parent.
- Each parent’s ability to provide a stable home.
- The child’s health and safety needs.
What the Court Reviews:
- Your current work schedule and home life.
- Any history of your past actions as a parent.
- How well you and the other parent can work together.
Example: Sarah asked for more time with her daughter. The judge looked at how Sarah had a safe home, always took her daughter to doctor visits, and helped her with school. The judge saw that more time with Sarah would be good for the daughter.
What Should I Show the Judge to Prove My Case?
Show Your Past Actions: To get more time, you need to show the judge that you are a good parent. Talk about all the ways you have been there for your child in the past. This can include going to parent-teacher meetings or doctor appointments.
Explain Your Future Plans: The judge also wants to know what you will do with more time. Explain your plans clearly. Tell the judge you want to go to your child’s baseball games or help them with their hobbies. This shows you have a real plan to be a bigger part of their life.
Examples of Past Support:
- Coaching your child’s sports team.
- Helping with homework and school projects.
- Taking your child to fun and educational places.
Future Activities to Mention:
- Attending all future school plays and concerts.
- Setting up regular video calls on days you don’t see them.
- Planning a special trip or weekend activity.
Example: David wanted more summer time with his kids. He showed the judge photos from last summer’s camping trip and a list of new parks he wanted to visit with them. This showed he was serious about spending quality time with them.
How Can My Attitude Affect the Judge’s Decision?
A Positive Approach: The court sees many parents who are angry or just want to fight with their ex. If you come to court with a positive and sincere wish to see your child, the judge is more likely to listen. Your main goal should be your child, not winning a fight.
The Risk of Being Angry: If you act in a combative way, the judge might think you have the wrong reasons. They may believe you are trying to cause trouble for the other parent. This can hurt your chances of getting what you want, as the judge’s focus is always on the child’s peace and happiness.
Good Attitudes to Show in Court:
- Speaking calmly and with respect.
- Focusing on your child’s needs, not your wants.
- Showing you are willing to work with the other parent.
Behaviors to Avoid:
- Blaming the other parent for problems.
- Interrupting the judge or your ex.
- Making demands instead of requests.
Example: Two fathers asked for more time. One calmly explained he wanted to teach his son to fish. The other yelled about his ex being unfair. The judge was much more willing to help the calm father.
What Happens If My Ex Says No to My Request?
Your Ex is Not the Final Say: It is common to first ask the other parent for more time with your child. They might agree, which is the easiest way. But if they say no, you should know that their answer is not the end of the road.
The Next Step is the Court: When you and your ex cannot agree, the next step is to ask the judge for help. The court is there to solve disagreements about parenting timesharing in Michigan. You can file a paper with the court to get the process started.
When You and Your Ex Disagree:
- Try to understand their reason for saying no.
- Stay calm and do not start an argument.
- Keep a record of your request and their answer.
Steps to Take After a “No”:
- Contact a family law attorney for help.
- Prepare to explain your side to a judge.
- Gather papers that support your request.
Example: Maria asked her ex-husband, Tom, if she could have their daughter every Wednesday evening. Tom said no without a good reason. Maria knew this was not the final answer and decided to file a request with the court.
How Do I Officially Ask the Court for Help?
Filing a Motion: To ask the court for help, you file a paper called a motion. This paper tells the judge what you want and why. In the motion, you will explain that you want more time with your child and that the other parent did not agree to your request.
The Court Hearing: After you file the motion, the court will set a date for a hearing if there is an objection. At the hearing, both you and the other parent can tell your sides of the story to the judge. The judge will listen to both of you before making a choice based on what is best for your child.
Information for Your Motion:
- Your name and the other parent’s name.
- A clear statement asking for more time.
- Reasons why more time is good for your child.
What to Expect at a Hearing:
- The judge will ask you questions.
- You can show papers that support your case.
- The other parent will also get a chance to speak.
Example: After his ex said no, Mark’s lawyer helped him file a motion. The motion explained Mark’s new work schedule and his wish to help his son with school. The court then set a date for a judge to hear the case.
Why Do Courts Often Approve Requests for More Time?
Courts Want Parents to Be Present: Judges in Michigan generally believe that it is good for children to have both parents in their lives. They see many sad cases where a parent does not want to see their child at all. So, when a parent asks for more time, the court often sees it as a very positive thing.
Requests Made in Good Faith: As long as you are asking for the right reasons, the court will likely help you. A “good faith” request means you truly want to spend time with your child and help them grow. The court will almost always support a parent who wants to be more present in their child’s life. You can watch our video to learn more about this.
Positive Reasons for More Time:
- You want to build a stronger bond with your child.
- You can offer your child new, good experiences.
- You want to share parenting duties more fairly.
Reasons a Court Might Deny a Request:
- The request is meant to bother the other parent.
- The change would be too hard on the child’s routine.
- The parent asking has a history of not being reliable.
Example: Jane asked for an extra week of vacation time with her children. She explained she wanted to take them to see their grandparents. The judge saw this was a loving request and granted it because it was good for the children.
Can a Parenting Schedule Be Changed Over Time?
Life Changes: A schedule that worked when your child was two might not work when they are ten. As children get older, their needs change. School, friends, and hobbies all affect their schedule, and the parenting plan may need to change too.
Making Adjustments: The law understands that life is not static. That is why there is a process for modifying child custody orders in Michigan. If your job hours change or you move closer to your child’s school, these could be good reasons to ask for a new schedule that fits your new life.
Reasons a Schedule Might Need to Change:
- A parent gets a new job or moves.
- A child starts a new school or activity.
- The current schedule is no longer working for the child.
How to Propose a Change:
- Discuss new ideas with the other parent first.
- Create a sample of a new schedule to show them.
- If you cannot agree, seek legal advice on the next steps.
Example: When Lisa’s son started middle school, he wanted to join the soccer team. The team practiced on days he was with his dad, who worked late. Lisa and her ex-husband agreed to swap a weekday so their son could play soccer.
What Is the Best Way to Start This Process?
Communicate First: The best and easiest way to get more time is to talk with the other parent. A friendly talk can often solve the problem without needing to go to court. Explaining why you want more time and how it helps the child can lead to a simple agreement.
Get Legal Help: If talking does not work, getting help from a lawyer is a smart next step. A lawyer who knows about family law attorneys in Michigan can guide you. They can help you file the right papers and speak for you in court, making the process much less stressful.
Tips for Talking with Your Ex:
- Choose a calm time and place to talk.
- Focus on the child’s benefit, not your own.
- Be open to hearing their point of view.
How a Lawyer Can Help:
- Explain your rights and options.
- Handle all the court paperwork for you.
- Represent you in front of the judge.
Example: Kevin wanted to have his daughter for dinner one night a week. He first sent a polite email to his ex-wife explaining his idea. She agreed, and they avoided having to go to court at all.
Who Makes the Final Choice About the Schedule?
The Role of the Judge: If you and the other parent cannot agree, a judge will make the final choice. The judge’s job is to be a neutral person who listens to both sides. Their decision will be based on the law and what is in the best interest of your child.
It’s Not Up to Your Ex: Remember, the other parent cannot be the one who makes the final choice if you disagree. You have the right to have a judge hear your case. This ensures that the decision is fair and focuses on the child’s needs.
What a Judge Will Do:
- Listen to testimony from both parents.
- Review any evidence that is presented.
- Make a ruling that becomes a court order.
Your Rights in the Process:
- The right to present your side of the story.
- The right to have a lawyer represent you.
- The right to appeal if you think the decision was wrong.
Example: After listening to both parents, the judge decided to add one overnight stay per month for the father. The judge explained that this slow change would be best for the young child. This decision became the new official schedule.
Extra Insights
Focus on a Fair Plan: When thinking about more time, it’s helpful to learn about how to create a fair parenting plan. A fair plan works well for both parents and, most importantly, for the child. It should be clear and easy to follow for everyone involved.
Plan for Success: It is also wise to get tips for a parenting time plan before you go to court. Having a well-thought-out schedule shows the judge you are serious and prepared. This can make a big difference in how the judge sees your request.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. How much does it cost to ask for more parenting time?
The cost can vary depending on if you need a lawyer and if the other parent fights the request. Filing fees are usually small, but lawyer costs can be higher.
2. Do I need a lawyer to request more time?
You are not required to have a lawyer, but it is highly recommended. A lawyer can help make sure your paperwork is correct and can speak for you in court.
3. How long does it take to get a hearing?
The time it takes to get a hearing can depend on how busy the court is. It can take anywhere from a few weeks to a few months.
4. Can my child decide who they want to live with?
In Michigan, a child can state a preference if they are old enough, but the judge makes the final choice. The judge will listen to the child’s wishes but must rule based on their best interest.
5. What if the other parent doesn’t follow the new order?
If the other parent does not follow the court’s new schedule, you can file another motion with the court. The judge can enforce the order and make sure it is followed.
6. Can I ask for more time if I live in another state?
Yes, you can still ask for more time even if you live out of state. The court case will usually be in the state where the child lives.
7. What is “reasonable parenting time”?
“Reasonable parenting time” is a general term used in court orders that means parents should work out a schedule on their own. If parents cannot agree, they may need a more specific schedule from the court.
8. Does the court favor mothers over fathers?
No, the law in Michigan is gender-neutral. The court must look at what is best for the child and cannot favor a mother or father based on their gender.
9. Can a new schedule be temporary?
Yes, a judge can make a new schedule temporary to see how it works for the child. After a period of time, the court can make the schedule permanent.
10. What if I just want to change the holiday schedule?
You can file a motion just to change one part of the schedule, like holidays or summer vacation. You do not have to change the entire schedule if only one part is not working.
11. Will I get in trouble for asking for more time?
No, you will not get in trouble for asking for more time if you are doing it for the right reasons. The court encourages parents who want to be a part of their children’s lives.
12. Can I get more time if the other parent is not a good parent?
If you are worried about your child’s safety with the other parent, you should tell the court right away. This can be a strong reason for the judge to change the schedule.
If you have questions about your case, please reach out. We are here to help you.
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