It can be scary to talk to a judge. It is extra scary when it is about your child. You want to say good things. This page will help you know what to say. It will help you show you are a good mom or dad.
What does a judge want to hear first?
Your Child is Most Important: The judge wants to see you have a good plan for your child. Your plan must show how you will help your child. It must be all about what is good for your child. You need to show how your child will be safe and happy.
Tell About Your Plan: Tell the judge clear things. Say how your child will get to school. Say how you will help with school work at home. The judge wants to hear that you have thought lots about these things. You can watch this video to learn more about what judges think is good.
Good Things in a Plan:
– School: Your child will go to a good school.
– Home Work: You will help your child with school work.
– Doctor: You will take your child to the doctor if they are sick.
Show You Are Set:
– Money: You have money to buy things your child needs.
– Home: Your home is safe for your child.
– Love: You will give your child lots of love.
A True Story: A mom named Sue went to a judge. Sue told the judge her son would go to a school close to her house. She said she would read with him each night. The judge was glad Sue had a clear plan.
How do I show I am a good mom or dad?
You Have Always Cared: The judge wants to know you have always been good to your child. If you have always been there, that is great. Tell the judge how you have cared for your child day by day. This helps the judge trust you.
A Safe Home is Key: You need to show your child has a safe home with you. The judge needs to feel sure your home is good. Things you did in the past show if you give this kind of home. You can learn about what helps kids in Michigan on this site.
Ways to Show You Are Good:
– Always There: Show you have been with your child a lot.
– Good Choices: Show you pick things that help your child.
– Kept Child Safe: Show you have kept your child from bad things.
What Judges Want to See:
– Same Home: The child has a home that does not change all the time.
– Good Food: The child eats good food and has nice clothes.
– Happy Kid: The child looks happy when they are with you.
A True Story: A dad named John showed the judge snaps of his child’s room. He showed notes from the child’s teacher. These helped the judge see John gave his child a good, safe home for a long time.
What papers should I take to the judge?
Show Proof, Do Not Just Talk: Just saying you do good things is not enough. You need to show the judge proof. Get your papers all set. These papers will help show that what you say is true.
Make a Proof Book: It is a good idea to make a book with your proof. This book can have school papers. It can have notes from the doctor. This helps the judge see all the good things you do. Good papers make your words strong.
Papers for Your Book:
– School Papers: Notes from school or from the teacher.
– Doctor Papers: Notes from doctor trips or about shots.
– Snaps: Snaps of you and your child having fun.
More Proof to Give:
– List of Friends: Names of grown-ups who help you with your child.
– Your Job Plan: How your job lets you be there for your child.
– Child’s Top Things: A list of your child’s best foods or games. This shows you know your child well.
A True Story: A mom named Kim made a proof book. It had her child’s good grades from school. It had a nice letter from their doctor. The judge looked at Kim’s book. The judge saw Kim was all set to care for her child.
Is it a big deal to work with the other parent?
Working as a Team is a Must: Yes, it is a very big deal. The judge wants to see you can work with the other parent. Even if you are the main parent, you must talk to the other parent. This is for things like days with each parent in Michigan.
Judges Like Peace: Judges do not want moms and dads to fight. They want parents who can fix small problems by themself. Show the judge you will try to be nice with the other parent for your child. To learn more, you can find out what you should not say in court, as this can help you stay calm.
How to Work as a Team:
– Talk Nice: Use kind words when you talk to the other parent about your child.
– Share News: Tell the other parent big news about your child.
– Be on Time: Do not be late when you pick up or drop off your child.
Why Working as a Team Helps:
– Child is More Happy: It helps your child feel safe and good.
– Less Court: It might mean you do not have to go to court so much.
– Judge Sees You Are Kind: It shows the judge you put your child first.
A True Story: A dad named Mike told the judge he calls his child’s mom each week. They talk about school. He showed texts where they planned a party for their child. The judge saw Mike would work with the other parent.
How should I act when I talk to the judge?
Be Nice to the Judge: Always be nice to the judge. Say “Your Honor.” Do not get mad. Do not talk back. This helps the judge want to hear you.
Tell What is True: Only say things that are true. Use few words. Say things so they are easy to get. The judge has to hear many folks. So, being clear and true helps a lot.
Good Ways to Act in Court:
– Dress Nice: Wear clean clothes. Dress like you are going to a job talk.
– Talk Clear: Talk so the judge can hear you easy.
– Be Still: Try to be still, even if you feel all jumpy.
Things Not to Do:
– Do Not Shout: Never shout or yell in the court.
– Do Not Lie: Never say things that are not true.
– Do Not Talk Too Long: Say what you need to say. Then stop.
A True Story: A mom named Pam was in court. She felt jumpy. But she talked slow and clear. She told the truth to all the judge’s questions. The judge said thank you to Pam for being clear and true.
What if I have worries about the other parent?
Tell Only Facts: If you have worries, tell the judge facts. Do not just say mean things. Do not just give your own thoughts. For example, if the other parent is late a lot, show dates and times.
Child’s Safety is Job One: If you worry your child is not safe, this is a very big deal. Tell the judge why you worry. Be calm. Show any proof you have. The judge’s main job is to keep kids safe.
How to Tell Your Worries:
– Write Them Down: Make a list of what happened and when.
– Get Proof: If you have texts or mails, keep them to show.
– Talk to Your Helper: Your law helper can tell you the best way to tell the judge.
Keep it About the Child:
– Not About Being Mad: Do not make it seem like you are just mad at the other parent.
– About Child’s Good: Say how your worry hurts what is good for your child.
– Be Set for Questions: The judge might ask you more. Be ready to learn about questions the judge may ask.
A True Story: A dad named Bill was worried. The other parent did not take their child to some doctor trips. Bill showed the judge the cards for the trips. He showed notes from the doctor. He said he worried for his child’s health.
Should I tell the judge how my child feels?
How Your Child Feels Can Count: What your child feels can be a big deal. But it matters how old your child is. Very small kids may not be asked what they want. Kids who are older may get to say more.
The Judge Will Pick How: The judge will pick if and how to hear what your child feels. Some times a kind person talks to the child. It is most times not good to make your child pick a parent. This can be very hard for a child.
If Your Child Talks to You:
– Hear Your Child: Let your child talk if they want to talk.
– Do Not Make Them Talk: Do not try to make them say things for court.
– Tell Your Law Helper: Let your law helper know what your child said, if it feels like a big deal.
What the Judge Thinks On:
– Child’s Years: How old the child is makes a change.
– Child Can Say Clear: If the child can say clear what they think and why.
– Not Pushed: If the child is saying it on their own, not pushed by a parent.
A True Story: An older boy, who was twelve, told a court helper he wished to live with his dad. His dad’s house was near his school. It was near his friends. The judge heard this. The judge thought on this with many other things to pick.
What if I move to a new house?
Tell the Court For Sure: If you move, you must tell the court. This is a very big deal if the judge has made papers about your child. Where you live changes your child’s school. It changes their day to day life.
Plan if You Will Move: If you think you might move, tell the judge your plan. Say how the new home will still be good for your child. Show you have thought about school. Show you thought about doctors in the new town.
Things to Do if You Move:
– Tell Court Fast: Let the court know as soon as you know you will move.
– Tell Other Parent: You most times need to tell the other parent too.
– Show it is Good: Say why the move is good. Or say why it will not hurt your child.
What the Judge Will See:
– Why You Move: Why you need to move to a new spot.
– Child’s School: How the move will change the child’s school.
– Time with Other Parent: How the move will change the child’s time with the other parent.
A True Story: A mom named Ann got a new job in a new town. She told the judge her plan. Her new house was big. She found a good school for her child there. She also showed how her child could still see the other parent lots.
How long till the judge picks?
It Can Take a While: No one can say just how long a judge will take. Some times a judge picks fast. Other times, it can take many weeks. It can even take months. The judge wants to be very sure.
Lots to Look At: The judge has to look at all the papers. The judge has to hear you. The judge has to hear the other parent. Some times other folks talk to the judge too. All of this takes time to do it right.
What to Do While You Wait:
– Follow Old Judge Rules: If there are old rules from a judge, keep doing them.
– Keep Being a Good Parent: Keep doing all the good things for your child each day.
– Talk to Your Law Helper: Your law helper can tell you what is going on.
Things That Make it Take More Time:
– Lots of Fights: If moms and dads do not agree on many things.
– Many Papers: If there are lots and lots of papers for the judge to read. –
Busy Court: Some times the court has many, many cases and it takes more time.
A True Story: A dad named Joe and a mom named Jen both wished their child to live with them. The judge heard them talk for two days. Then the judge took two weeks to read all the papers. Then the judge told them what was picked.
What if I do not like what the judge picks?
Talk to Your Law Helper Quick: If you do not like what the judge picks, talk to your law helper right then. Some times there are ways to ask for the judge to look at it all one more time. But there are rules. And you do not have much time to ask.
Know Why the Judge Picked It: Your law helper can help you see why the judge picked that way. Even if you do not like it, it helps to know why. Some times, you might be able to ask for a change way down the road if things in your life get very new.
Steps if You Do Not Like the Pick:
– Call Law Helper Fast: There is most times just a short time to do a thing.
– Ask What to Do Next: Your law helper can tell you what you can do.
– Follow Judge’s Rules Now: You must still do what the judge picked while you see what else you can do.
Ask for a Change Later On:
– Need a Big Life Change: Most times, you need a big, big change in your life to ask to change the judge’s plan.
– Good for the Child: Any change must be what is good for the child.
– Get Law Help: It is best to have a law helper help you ask for a change.
A True Story: The judge picked a plan that a mom named May did not like. She talked to her law helper. Her helper said they could ask for a new look. But they would need strong new facts. May chose to do the judge’s plan for now. She would try to make things good for a new look later.
More Good Tips From Us: Always Tell What is True: When you talk to the judge, tell the truth. When you give papers, make sure they are true. If the judge finds out you did not tell the truth, it can be very bad. Telling the truth helps the judge trust you.
Think of Your Child Most: All you say and do should be for your child. It should not be to win a fight with the other parent. Keep your child in your heart with all your plans. This is what judges want to see from moms and dads.
Frequently Asked Questions:
1. What do judges care about most of all?
Judges care most about what is good for the child. They want the child to be safe and happy.
2. Should my child come to court with me?
No, most times your child should not come to court. Only bring your child if the judge or your law helper says to.
3. What if the other parent does not tell the truth in court?
Tell your law helper if the other parent lies. Your law helper can show the judge the real facts with proof.
4. What clothes should I wear to court?
You should wear clean, neat clothes. Dress like you are going to a big meeting for a job.
5. Can I talk about the other parent’s new friend?
Only talk about them if it hurts your child in a bad way. Tell facts, not just how you feel.
6. What if I get jumpy and cry in court?
It is okay to feel jumpy; judges know this. Try to be as still as you can. Talk clear even if you want to cry.
7. Does it help if I have more money than the other parent?
Money can help, but it is not all that counts. Judges look at who can give good care and a home that stays the same.
8. What is a “proof book”?
A proof book is papers you put in a book to show the judge. It helps keep your true facts neat and easy to see.
9. Can I tape calls with the other parent?
Rules for taping calls are hard to know. Always ask your law helper first before you tape any calls with folks.
10. How do I show I will help my child see the other parent?
Tell the judge you will stick to the time plan. Show you can talk nice with the other parent about what your child needs.
11. What if I do not speak English very well?
You can ask the court for a helper who speaks your words. It is key for the judge to know what you mean clear.
12. What is ChooseGoldman.com?
ChooseGoldman.com is a web spot for Goldman and Associates. We are law helpers. We help folks in Michigan with family law things.
We Can Help You Out: It is a big step to talk to a judge about your child. We know it can be hard. The law helpers at Goldman and Associates are here for you. We want to help you show the judge you are a good mom or dad. We help folks all over Michigan.
If you have questions or need help, please call us or write.
Phone: (248) 590-6600 (Call/Text)
Set Up a Free Talk: Click Here to Talk Free
See Our Web Spot: Visit ChooseGoldman.com