Going through a divorce is a difficult life transition. Many people look for alternatives to a standard court process to save time and reduce stress. Collaborative divorce is one such option. Understanding how this process works and what to do if it breaks down is essential for protecting your future.
What is the collaborative divorce process?
The basic concept. Collaborative divorce is a way to resolve your marriage issues without starting a court fight right away. It focuses on a non-litigious environment where both parties work with a team to settle disputes.
Working toward a judgment. If both sides agree on all terms, you can file your case and give a completed judgment to the judge. This makes the legal process much faster and keeps you out of a courtroom battle.
Does the collaborative approach always succeed?
No guarantees. While it sounds like a great plan, it does not work every time. Sometimes couples can resolve their issues, but other times, the negotiations simply fall apart.
Risks of failure. You might spend many months trying to negotiate, only to realize the process is not working. If that happens, you have to start the entire process over again in court.
Why do collaborative divorces fail?
The need for two parties. By its very nature, a collaborative divorce requires two people who are willing to participate. If one person refuses to communicate, the team can no longer move forward.
The “AWOL” scenario. Sometimes a spouse stops showing up or becomes impossible to reach. When one person “takes a powder” and disappears, the collaborative process has failed.
What steps should you take if your spouse disappears?
Shifting your strategy. If your spouse stops participating, you cannot continue with a collaborative approach. You must immediately shift to a standard court divorce filing.
Moving forward legally. You will serve your spouse at their last known address. If they are not there, that becomes their problem rather than yours.
Can you get a divorce if your spouse refuses to participate?
The default process. When your spouse ignores the court process or refuses to respond, you can seek a divorce by default. This allows the court to move your case forward even without the other person’s input.
Court involvement. Because the other person is not taking part in the legal proceedings, the court can grant the divorce based on your filing. This ensures you are not held back by their absence.
What happens if your spouse returns later?
Explaining the absence. If your spouse shows up after the default, they must explain their absence to the judge. They have to provide a good reason for why they stopped participating earlier.
Setting aside the default. If the judge finds they have “good cause” and a valid legal reason, they might set the default aside. This allows the other party to finally have their say in the case.
How do courts view children in these situations?
Prioritizing kids. Courts are often very careful when children are involved in a divorce. If a spouse claims they missed court, the judge might be more likely to allow them back in.
Fairness for everyone. Judges often want both parents to weigh in on issues affecting their children. This is why a default judgment can sometimes be reversed if the circumstances warrant it.
What are the common signs that the process is failing?
- Your spouse stops attending scheduled meetings.
- Communication between parties completely breaks down.
- One person refuses to engage with the collaborative team.
What are the next steps after a collaborative failure?
- Accept that the collaborative process is officially over.
- File for a standard divorce with the court immediately.
- Serve legal papers to the last known address of your spouse.
Real-life example: A recent case involved a couple who spent nine months trying to work through a collaborative divorce. Unfortunately, the process fell apart, forcing them to scrap their work and start the entire legal process over again from the beginning.
The most important takeaway is that collaborative divorce is not a permanent solution for every marriage. It is a tool that requires full cooperation from both spouses to be effective.
If that cooperation stops, you must be ready to pivot quickly. You should not wait for your spouse to change their mind; instead, you must protect your interests by moving your case into the formal court system.
Get Legal Help Today
If you are facing a difficult divorce or your collaborative process has broken down, contact Goldman Law. Call or text us at (248) 590-6600. You can also schedule a free consultation here: Schedule Your Consultation. Visit our website at https://akivagoldman.com/ for more information.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can I start a collaborative divorce if we already filed for court?
The collaborative process is meant to be a non-litigious environment used before filing your case. If you have already started the formal court process, you generally cannot use this specific collaborative method.
What if my spouse just stops showing up to meetings?
If your spouse goes AWOL, the collaborative process is considered a failure. You must immediately shift to a standard court-based divorce.
Do I have to wait for my spouse to return?
No, you do not need to wait for your spouse to return to move forward. You can serve them at their last known address and proceed with a default divorce.
What is a divorce by default?
A divorce by default occurs when your spouse fails to participate or respond to the legal process. The court moves forward with the case even though the other person is not involved.
Can a default judgment be overturned?
Yes, a judge might set aside a default if the spouse provides good cause. They must also show that they have a meritorious claim to the court.
Are courts more lenient if children are involved?
Courts are often more inclined to set aside a default when children are involved in the case. Judges prefer to have both parents participate in decisions regarding their kids.
What does it mean to “take a powder”?
It is a way of saying that your spouse stopped showing up or became impossible to reach during the process. This behavior ends the possibility of a collaborative resolution.
Does a collaborative divorce always work?
No, it does not work every time. Sometimes negotiations are successful, but in other cases, they fall apart completely.
What happens if the collaborative process fails?
If the process fails, you must start the entire divorce process over again in court. You move from a private setting to a standard court litigation process.
Do I need a lawyer for a collaborative divorce?
The process uses a collaborative team to work things out before you file. If that team cannot help you reach a judgment, you will need a lawyer to file your standard divorce.
Where should I serve my spouse if they disappeared?
You should attempt to serve your spouse at their last known address. If they are not there, that is considered their problem and the process continues without them.
Why is it important to move quickly after a failure?
Moving quickly ensures that your legal case continues to progress through the court. Delaying only slows down your ability to receive a final judgment.