When you are living apart from your spouse, it is a hard time. Money worries can make it even worse. It is very important to watch the money in your bank accounts. This can help you protect your share and make sure bills are paid fairly. If you see money disappearing, you need to act fast to keep your finances safe.
Why Is It Important to Check My Bank Accounts Now?
Shared Money Access: When you have a joint bank account, both you and your spouse can take money out at any time. During a separation, trust can be low. Watching the account helps you see where the money is going and who is spending it.
Stopping Big Problems Early: Noticing a small, strange withdrawal early can stop a bigger problem later. If your spouse is taking out cash or making big purchases, it can leave you with no money for rent or food. Catching it early gives you time to protect what is left.
- Check your account online every day.
- Look for withdrawals you do not know.
- Ask your bank for alerts on big transactions.
- Keep copies of bank statements.
- Write down any spending you do not understand.
- Talk to your bank about your worries.
Real-Life Example: A woman named Jane was separated from her husband. She checked their joint bank account and saw five small withdrawals of $100 each made out to cash in one week. Because she was watching closely, she called the bank and her lawyer right away before more money was taken.
What Kinds of Withdrawals Are a Red Flag?
Unusual Spending Types: You should look for spending that is not normal for your family. This could be large checks made out to “cash.” It could also be big payments to credit cards you do not know about or transfers to accounts you have never seen before.
Changes in Habits: If your spouse suddenly starts spending a lot of money, it can be a warning sign. Look for expensive gifts, trips, or big cash withdrawals from an ATM. These are often signs that money is being spent on things that are not for the family.
- Checks with a signature that is not yours.
- Payments to unknown people or companies.
- Many ATM withdrawals in a short time.
- Money spent at bars or casinos.
- Large purchases for jewelry or electronics.
- Money sent to a new boyfriend or girlfriend.
Real-Life Example: Tom noticed a $2,000 payment from his joint account to a credit card company he did not use. He found out his wife had opened a new credit card in her name and was using their shared money to pay for her personal shopping sprees.
What Should I Do First If I Find a Problem?
Call Your Bank Right Away: The very first step is to tell your bank about the suspicious activity. You should call them or go to a branch in person. Tell them which charges you do not know and that you are worried about your account.
Ask to Freeze the Account: You can ask the bank to put a freeze on the account. This means no one can take money out or put money in until the freeze is lifted. This is a good way to stop any more money from being taken while you figure out what to do.
- Give the bank your account number.
- List the dates and amounts of the strange withdrawals.
- Tell them you are separated from your spouse.
- The bank can start an investigation.
- They can freeze the account to protect the money.
- They can give you papers to show what happened.
Real-Life Example: Sarah saw that her husband wrote a check for $5,000 to his brother, but it was not her signature. She immediately called the bank, reported the check, and they put a hold on the account so no more checks could be cashed without her there.
Is It Okay to Move Money From Our Joint Account?
Protecting Your Share: It is often a smart move to take half of the money from the joint account. You can then put this money into a new, separate bank account that is only in your name. This makes sure you have money for your own bills and living costs.
Be Fair and Honest: Do not take all the money out of the account. Taking only your half shows that you are being fair. A judge will see this as a reasonable step to protect yourself, not as an attempt to hide money from your spouse.
- Go to your bank to open a new checking account.
- Bring your driver’s license and social security card.
- Transfer half of the joint funds to your new account.
- Do not take more than half of the money.
- Do not hide the new account from your lawyer.
- Do not spend the money on large, needless things.
Real-Life Example: Mark was worried his wife was spending too much. He took exactly half of their $10,000 savings, moved it to a new account in his name, and kept detailed records to show his lawyer exactly what he did and why.
When Do I Need to Get a Lawyer?
As Soon as Money Is Missing: If you see suspicious withdrawals, you should think about getting a lawyer right away. The longer you wait, the more money could disappear. A lawyer can help you take fast action to stop the spending.
Taking Legal Action: A lawyer can ask a judge for an order to freeze bank accounts. This order forces the bank to stop anyone from taking money out. The expert family law attorneys in Michigan at our firm can help you understand your options and act quickly to protect your finances.
- Your spouse is not talking to you about money.
- Large amounts of money are gone.
- You feel scared or unsure what to do next.
- A lawyer can file court papers for you.
- They can speak to your spouse’s lawyer.
- They can help you get back money that was taken.
Real-Life Example: After her husband emptied their joint account, Maria hired a lawyer. The lawyer filed papers with the court the next day, and the judge signed an order that stopped the husband from spending any more of their money.
How Can I Prove Which Spending Is Mine?
Keep Good Records: The best way to show what you spent is to keep good records. Use a notebook or a computer file to list all of your withdrawals and purchases. Keep all of your receipts for everything you buy, from groceries to gas.
A Simple Way to Mark Checks: As we talk about in our video on this topic, you can make a small, secret mark on any check you write. For example, you could put a tiny dot inside one of the letters of your signature. If you see a check without that mark, you know someone else wrote it.
- Use a debit card for most purchases to have a record.
- Keep a folder for all of your paper receipts.
- Write notes on your bank statement about each purchase.
- It shows a judge you are responsible.
- It helps prove your spouse is spending foolishly.
- It makes splitting money and property easier.
Real-Life Example: During his separation, David used a special pen to sign his checks. When his wife claimed he spent money on a hotel, he showed the judge that the check used for the hotel did not have his special signature, proving she signed it.
What If My Spouse Claims the Money Was for Bills?
Ask for the Proof: It is fair to ask your spouse to show proof of what they paid. If they say they paid the electric bill, ask to see a copy of the bill and the receipt or bank record showing the payment. If they cannot show proof, it may be a sign they are not being truthful.
Shared Costs vs. Personal Spending: There is a big difference between paying for family needs and personal wants. Paying the house payment is a shared cost. Buying a new TV for a new apartment is a personal expense and should not come from shared money without agreement.
- Mortgage or rent payments for the family home.
- Utility bills like electricity and water.
- Food and clothes for the children.
- Money for a vacation with a new partner.
- Gifts for friends or family members.
- Paying for expensive hobbies or habits.
Real-Life Example: A husband took out $500 and said it was for a car repair. His wife asked for the receipt from the mechanic, but he could not provide one. This made the judge question if he was being honest about his spending.
How Can I Protect My Finances for the Future?
Make a New Budget for Yourself: Your life is changing, and so is your money situation. You need to create a new budget based on your single income. List all your new costs, like rent for a new place, and see how much you can afford to spend each month.
Take Long-Term Protective Steps: Protecting your money is more than just watching a bank account. You should also close any joint credit card accounts so your spouse cannot add more debt. Taking these steps for protecting your personal assets in a divorce can give you a fresh start.
- Open a new bank account in your name only.
- Close any joint credit cards you share.
- Change your password for all online banking.
- Pay your bills on time to keep your credit score good.
- Check your credit report for any accounts you dont know.
- Avoid opening new joint accounts with anyone.
Real-Life Example: Lisa found out her husband had charged $3,000 on their shared credit card after they separated. She called the credit card company, closed the account, and was not held responsible for any new charges he tried to make.
What If We Had an Agreement About Money?
Verbal Agreements Are Weak: You and your spouse may have talked about how you would spend money during your separation. However, if this agreement was just spoken and not written down, it is very hard to prove. Your spouse could easily say they do not remember or that they did not agree.
Get It in Writing: If you make any agreements about money, they should be written down and signed by both of you. A written agreement is much stronger and can be shown to a judge if there is a problem. Your lawyer can help you write a clear agreement.
- Your spouse may forget what they promised.
- They could lie and say the talk never happened.
- A judge has no proof of what you agreed to.
- List who will pay for which specific bills.
- State how much each person can spend for personal items.
- Have both you and your spouse sign the paper.
Real-Life Example: A couple agreed verbally that the wife would pay the mortgage and the husband would pay for the kids’ school. The husband stopped paying, and because there was no written proof, the wife had a hard time making him pay his share until her lawyer got a court order.
How Does This Spending Affect Our Divorce?
Wasting Marital Money: When one spouse spends shared money on things that do not benefit the family, it is called “dissipation” or wasting of funds. A judge can look at this spending when it is time to split your property. Many people wonder about the divorce cost in Michigan, and wasting money can make it more complex.
Unequal Property Division: If a judge finds that your spouse wasted a lot of money, they may give you a larger share of the remaining property to make up for it. The judge might give you more money from a retirement account or a bigger share of the house to make things fair.
- Money spent on gambling or illegal activities.
- Funds used to buy expensive gifts for a new partner.
- Money lost in a bad investment made without your consent.
- You might get a larger part of the savings account.
- Your spouse might get less of their pension.
- The debt your spouse created might become their own.
Real-Life Example: A husband spent $20,000 of their savings on a trip to Las Vegas during the separation. The judge saw this as wasting money and ordered that the wife receive $20,000 more from the husband’s retirement plan in the final divorce settlement.
Extra Insights
A Judge’s Point of View: Judges in family court want to see people act fairly, even when they are upset. Trying to hide money or spend it all before a divorce looks very bad. A judge has the power to make the person who wasted the money pay it back from their share of the property.
The Power of Good Records: Keeping clear records is one of the most powerful things you can do. Save every bank statement, credit card bill, and receipt. Knowing the 3 ways to protect assets from divorce starts with having proof of where all the money is and where it went.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is the very first step if I see a strange charge?
You should call your bank immediately to report the charge. Ask them about their process for handling unauthorized withdrawals.
Can I take all the money out of our joint account?
No, you should not take all the money out. Taking only your fair share, which is usually half, is the safest choice.
Will the bank help me if my spouse is taking money?
The bank can investigate suspicious activity like a forged signature. They can also help by freezing the account if you request it.
How do I prove my spouse is wasting money?
You can prove it by collecting bank statements, credit card bills, and receipts that show foolish spending. Your lawyer can help present this proof to the court.
What if I don’t have my own bank account?
You should open a new bank account in your name only as soon as possible. This gives you a safe place to put your money.
Can my spouse open a credit card in my name?
It is illegal for someone to open a credit card in your name without your permission. Check your credit report to make sure this has not happened.
Do I still have to pay bills from the joint account?
Yes, important family bills like the mortgage should still be paid to protect your credit. Keep records of any bills you pay from the account.
What happens to debt that my spouse makes now?
Debt that a spouse creates after separation for non-family purposes may be considered their own debt. A judge will decide who is responsible for paying it.
How can a lawyer stop my spouse from spending?
A lawyer can file a motion with the court to get a restraining order. This order legally stops your spouse from spending shared money.
Is it okay to use joint money for my own lawyer fees?
Using joint money to pay for a lawyer is often seen as an acceptable expense. However, it is best to discuss this with your attorney first.
What if my name is not on the bank account?
If your name is not on an account, you cannot access it directly. Your lawyer can help find out about hidden accounts during the divorce process.
Will I get the wasted money back in the divorce?
A judge can give you a larger share of the remaining property to make up for the money your spouse wasted. You may not get the exact cash back, but you can be compensated.
Protecting your money during a separation is critical. If you see strange withdrawals or are worried about your financial future, you need to take action. The team at Goldman & Associates is here to help you navigate these challenges and secure your finances.
Contact us for help with your case. We are here for you.
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