Who Will The Kids Live With If My Ex Lives Out of State and We Aren’t Married? – ChooseGoldman.com

What Happens When Parents Are Not Married and Live Apart?

Court Looks at What’s Best: When parents are not married, courts must choose what is best for the child. This is the main rule. The court will decide if the child should stay with one parent or move with the parent who leaves the state.

Rules Are Different for Unmarried Parents: The rules for married and unmarried parents are not the same. If you are not married, the mom often has the main care of the child. This means she makes choices for the child, and the child lives with her. If she moves, the child may go with her.

• Child Comes First: Courts always make choices that are good for the child.
• Mom Often Has Care: Most times, the mother takes care of the child.
• Moving With Mom: If mom moves, the child often moves too.

• Ask the Court: You can ask the court to change who has care.
• Say No to Moving: You can tell the court you don’t want the child to move.
• Get Court Papers: You can ask the court to make certain rules.

Example: Anna and Ben were not married and had a daughter, Lily. Anna had the main care. She decided to move to another state for a new job. Ben was worried he would not see Lily. He learned he needed to act fast to keep his time with her.

How Does the Court Decide Who Gets the Kids?

Court’s Main Goal for Kids: The court’s job is to make sure the child has the best life. They look at many things to make this choice. This means they check where both parents live and what their plans are.

Court Allows Moves, But with Rules: If a parent wants to move far away, the court will likely say yes if it’s good for the child. But, the court will also make sure the other parent can still see their child. They will set up a plan for visits.

• Child’s Safety and Joy: The court wants the child to be safe and happy.
• Checking Homes: The court looks at where each parent lives.
• Making Sure Visits Happen: The court helps set up time for the child to see both parents.

• Looking at Moving Plans: The court checks why a parent wants to move.
• Fair Time for Parents: The court wants both parents to spend time with the child.
• New Visit Times: A new plan for visits may be needed for long trips.

Example: Lisa wanted to move with her son, Tom, to a new state for a better school. The court looked at her plan and saw it was good for Tom. But, they also made sure Tom’s dad, Mike, had set visiting times, like long summer visits and holiday breaks.

What is “Custody” When Parents Are Not Married?

Who Takes Care of the Child: In most cases where parents are not married, the mom is seen as having care of the child. This means she has the right to make big choices for the child, and the child lives with her.

The Idea of “Presumption”: There is a rule that says the mom has care first. This is called a “”presumption.”” If the mom moves out of state, the child may go with her because of this rule. You can learn more about Child Custody & Best Interests of the Child in Michigan.

• Mom’s First Rights: Moms often have the first right to care for the child.
• Child Lives with Mom: This means the child stays at the mom’s home.
• Mom Makes Choices: The mom makes big choices for the child.

• Dad Can Ask for Change: A dad can ask the court to change this.
• Get a Lawyer’s Help: It is good to ask a lawyer for help with this.
• Court Can Change Care: The court can change who takes care of the child.

Example: Amy and Joe had a daughter, Mia, but were not married. Amy moved to another state. Joe wanted Mia to stay with him. He had to show the court why it was better for Mia to stay. He also had to show he was a good person to have Mia live with.

Do I Need to File Papers if My Ex Moves Out of State?

Yes, File Papers Fast: If you do not want your child to move with your ex, you must act fast. You need to file papers with the court. These papers can ask the court to change who has care or to stop the move.

Ask the Court for Help: You can file many kinds of papers. These papers are called “”motions.”” They tell the court what you want to happen. This is important to keep your rights to see your child. Find out more about how to change child custody in Michigan.

• File a Request: This is a formal request to the court.
• Say No to the Move: Tell the court you don’t agree with the move.
• Get Legal Advice: Talk to a lawyer about what to do.

• Keep Your Rights: Make sure you can still see your child.
• Get Court Orders: A court order helps your case.
• Act Quickly: It is key to act fast when a parent moves.

Example: Maria’s ex, David, told her he was moving to Florida with their daughter. Maria did not want her daughter to move so far. She quickly talked to a lawyer. Her lawyer helped her file papers to stop the move. She asked the court to keep her daughter in Michigan.

What About My Time With My Child If My Ex Moves?

You Still Get to See Your Child: Just because your ex moves does not mean you lose your right to see your child. The court will make sure you still have time with your child. They will make a plan for this time. This is called parenting time.

New Plan for Visits: If your ex moves far away, your old visit plan might not work. The court will create a new plan that makes sense for long distances. This might mean longer visits less often, like during school breaks.

• Don’t Give Up Time: Keep asking for your time with your child.
• Court Will Help: The court will make sure you get visits.
• New Schedule: A new visit plan will be made for far away.

• Think About Travel: Plan how you will travel.
• Share Travel Costs: You might need to share money for travel.
• Work Together: Try to work with your ex on the plan.

Example: Chris’s ex moved to California with their son, Leo. Chris was sad but knew he still had rights. The court set up a plan where Leo would spend summers and some holidays with Chris. This way, Chris still had good time with Leo, even from far away.

Can My Ex Just Pick Up and Leave With My Child?

Not Without Court Help: Your ex cannot just leave with your child without the court knowing. If they have the main care of the child, they can ask the court to let them move. But the court will still look at what is best for the child.

Court Must Say Yes to Moves: If your ex asks to move, the court will probably say yes if it’s good for the child. But, the court will also set up a plan for you to see your child from far away. You can watch this video on Who Will The Kids Live With If My Ex Lives Out of State and We Aren’t Married? – ChooseGoldman.com to learn more.

• Court Must Agree: A parent needs court OK to move far with a child.
• Child’s Best: The court checks if the move is good for the child.
• Setting Up Visits: The court makes sure the other parent can still see the child.

• Ask the Court: The parent moving needs to ask the court to move.
• Far Away Plans: The court will make plans for long-distance visits.
• Don’t Let Them Go: Take action if they try to leave without court OK.

Example: Lisa’s ex-partner, David, wanted to move to Texas with their daughter. He asked the court for permission. Lisa was able to make sure the court also set up a good visit plan for her. This included video calls and trips each year.

What is a “Long Distance Parenting Time Schedule?”

Making Visits Work From Far Away: When parents live far apart, a new plan for visits is needed. This is called a “long distance parenting time schedule.” It means visits may happen less often but for longer times, like summer breaks or holidays. This is different from local visits that might be every other week.

Fair Time for Both Parents: This plan makes sure both parents still get to spend time with their child. The court will help set up this schedule. This schedule will be different from a close-by schedule, which might be one week on, one week off, or a few days each week.

• New Visit Plan: Old plans don’t work for far away.
• Longer, Fewer Visits: May include full summers or holidays.
• Court Helps: The court helps create this new plan.

• Travel Money: Parents may share money for travel.
• Video Calls: May include regular video calls.
• Fairness: Makes sure both parents get time with the child.

Example: John lived in Michigan, and his ex moved to Arizona with their son, Kevin. Their old plan for visits every other weekend no longer made sense. The court made a new plan. Kevin would spend his whole summer break and every other Christmas with John. This way, they still had good time together.

Why Do I Need a Lawyer for Out-of-State Moves?

Get Help From a Lawyer: If your ex is moving out of state with your child, you need a lawyer. A lawyer can help you file the right papers. They will make sure your rights to see your child are kept safe.

Keeping Your Rights Safe: A lawyer knows the rules and can help you get the best result. They will make sure you get your time with your child. Do not think you lose your rights just because your ex leaves the state. For more help, check out Michigan Out-of-State Divorce Attorneys – ChooseGoldman.

• File Right Papers: A lawyer knows what papers to file.
• Keep Your Rights: A lawyer helps you keep your time with your child.
• Know the Rules: Lawyers know the rules for moving.

• Court Help: A lawyer helps you in court.
• Best Result: They work to get you the best outcome.
• Don’t Lose Rights: You don’t lose your rights just because of a move.

Example: David’s ex moved to Texas without telling him first. David felt lost and thought he might not see his kids again. He hired a lawyer who quickly filed papers with the court. His lawyer made sure David got a fair long-distance visit schedule and kept his rights as a dad.

How Do Courts Decide “Best Interest of the Child” in These Cases?

What “Best Interest” Means: When deciding where a child lives, courts always think about what is best for the child. This is a very important rule. They look at many things to make sure the child is safe and happy.

Things the Court Looks At: The court will check how steady each parent’s home is. They also look at who has been the main person taking care of the child. They want to make sure the child’s life is as good as it can be.

• Child’s Safety: The court makes sure the child is safe.
• Child’s Happiness: They want the child to be happy.
• Home Steady: They check if the home is good and steady.

• Main Caretaker: Who has been mostly taking care of the child.
• School and Friends: How the move might change the child’s school and friends.
• Child’s Own Wish: Sometimes the court asks what the child wants, if old enough.

Example: Sarah’s ex wanted to move their daughter to a new state. The court looked at who could give the child a more steady home and better schooling. They also thought about the child’s friends. In the end, they made a choice based on what was truly best for the child’s future.

What if We Never Had a Formal Child Care Order?

Rules If No Order: If you were never married and never had a court paper for child care, the law has certain rules. In many places, the mom is seen as having care unless a dad takes steps to change this.

Get a Court Order: It is always best to get a court paper for child care. This paper clearly says who has care and how visits will work. Without it, things can be very confusing, especially if a parent moves. You can see more about this topic in the video Relocating With Child When Parents Aren’t Married – ChooseGoldman.com.

• Mom’s Rights First: Without an order, the mom often has default care.
• Confused Without Order: No order means unclear rules for visits.
• Take Steps: File papers to get a clear court order.

• Clear Rules: A court order makes rules for visits and care clear.
• Stop Problems: A court order can stop big problems later.
• Keep Child Safe: A court order keeps your child’s home and visit time safe.

Example: Emily and Mike were not married and had a daughter. They had no formal care order. When Mike got a job in another state, he wanted to take their daughter. Emily had to act fast to get a court order. This order made sure she could still see her daughter and that Mike couldn’t just take her away without a plan.

How Can I Stop My Ex From Moving Out of State With Our Child?

File a Paper: To stop your ex from moving your child out of state, you must file a paper with the court. This paper tells the judge why you do not want the move to happen. You need to do this very quickly.

Show Why It’s Not Good: You will need to show the court why the move is not best for your child. You can talk about how it will hurt your child’s life, school, or time with you. This can be hard, so seeking help from Michigan Child Custody Attorneys is smart.

• Act Fast: Don’t wait to file your papers.
• Tell Your Reasons: Tell the court why the move is bad for the child.
• Get Help From a Lawyer: A lawyer can guide you through this process.

• Effect on Child: Show how the move will change the child’s life.
• Keep Things Steady: Say that staying put is better for the child’s steady life.
• Your Time: Explain how the move hurts your time with the child.

Example: When Sarah’s ex said he was moving their son, Sam, to another state, Sarah was upset. She called a lawyer right away. Her lawyer helped her file a paper that showed the court how much Sam loved his current school. It also showed how moving would hurt his strong bond with his grandparents. The court listened to her reasons.

What If I Don’t Agree to the Move?

Court Will Decide: If you do not agree to your ex moving out of state with your child, the court will make the final choice. They will listen to both sides. They will decide what is truly best for the child. It is important to clearly say why you don’t agree.

Fight for Your Child’s Steady Life: This is your chance to explain why the child should not move. You can talk about the child’s school, friends, and close family where they live now. The court will think about all these things to make a fair choice.

• Tell Your Story: Tell the court your side of the story.
• Focus on Child: Always put what the child needs first.
• Show Your Reasons: Give reasons why the move is not good for the child.

• Judge’s Choice: The judge will make the final choice.
• Keep Your Rights: Make sure your right to say no is heard.
• Lawyer’s Help: A lawyer can help you get ready for court.

Example: John and his ex could not agree on their daughter moving across the country. John did not want her to go. He worked with his lawyer to show the court how well his daughter was doing in her current school. He also showed how much she loved her local sports team. The judge thought about these things when making the choice.

Can I Get Money Help for Travel if My Child Moves Away?

Share Travel Costs: If your child moves out of state, the court may say both parents should share the costs of travel for visits. This helps make sure the child can still see the parent who did not move. The goal is to make visits happen even with the distance. Learn more about Michigan Child Support in Divorce – ChooseGoldman.

Court Decides Costs: The court decides how travel costs will be split. They look at how much money each parent makes. They want to make it fair for both parents.

• Ask the Court: You can ask the court for help with travel costs.
• Fair Split: The court tries to divide costs fairly.
• Look at Money: How much each parent earns is looked at.

• Travel Plan: The court may help plan how to get the child back and forth.
• Help for Visits: Money help makes sure visits can happen.
• Long-Term Plan: This is a plan for travel money for a long time.

Example: When Mark’s ex moved with their daughter to a different state, Mark worried about paying for flights. His lawyer asked the court to make his ex pay for half of the travel costs. The judge said yes, making it easier for Mark to see his daughter often.

What If My Ex Doesn’t Follow the Visit Schedule?

Go Back to Court: If your ex does not follow the visit schedule, you can go back to court. The court can make your ex follow the rules. It is very important to write down when your ex does not follow the plan.

Court Can Help: The court can make new rules to make sure the schedule is followed. They can even make your ex pay money or give you extra time with your child. This makes sure the court’s rules are taken seriously.

• Keep Notes: Write down every time your ex breaks the rules.
• File a Paper: Ask the court to make your ex obey the rules.
• Court Has Power: The court has ways to make people follow rules.

• Extra Time: You might get more time with your child for lost time.
• Pay Money: Your ex might have to pay money for not following rules.
• Get Legal Help: Get help from a lawyer to make the order work.

Example: After Sarah’s ex moved with their son, he often made excuses for why their son could not visit. Sarah wrote down every missed visit. She took this to her lawyer. Her lawyer filed papers with the court. The judge then told Sarah’s ex to pay for her travel. The judge also made sure Sarah got extra time with her son to make up for lost visits.

Extra Insights

Plan for the Future: It is smart to plan ahead for these types of things. Even if parents get along now, things can change. Having clear court papers about child care and visits can stop many problems later.

Stay Strong for Your Child: Dealing with a child moving can be very hard. Remember to stay calm and focus on what is best for your child. A lawyer can help you with the legal parts so you can focus on your child.

Frequently Asked Questions:

1. What is the first thing I should do if my ex wants to move out of state with our child?
You should talk to a lawyer right away. They can help you know your rights and what papers to file with the court.

2. Does it matter if we were married or not for child care rules?
Yes, it does matter. The rules for parents who are not married are different, especially about who has the main care of the child.

3. Will a court always let a parent move out of state with a child?
No, not always. The court will only say yes if they think it is best for the child. They will look at many things to decide.

4. What does “”best interest of the child”” mean?
It means the court looks at what is safest and most helpful for the child’s life and how happy they are. They think about all things that touch the child.

5. Will I lose my right to see my child if they move far away?
No, you will not. The court will make sure you still have time with your child, but the schedule may change for the long distance.

6. How will visits work if my child lives in another state?
The court will make a “”long distance parenting time schedule.”” This usually means longer visits less often, like during school breaks or holidays.

7. Who pays for travel if the child moves out of state?
The court might tell both parents to share travel costs. This depends on how much money each parent makes and how much travel costs.

8. What if my ex moves without telling me or getting court approval?
You must act fast and file papers with the court. A lawyer can help you ask the court to make your ex bring the child back.

9. Can I object to my ex moving with our child?
Yes, you can. You must file a paper with the court and explain why you believe the move is not good for your child.

10. How long does it take for a court to decide on a child moving out of state?
It can take some time. It depends on how busy the court is and how much the parents do not agree. It is best to start early.

11. Is it important to have a child care order from the court?
Yes, it is very important. A court order makes sure everyone knows the rules about who has care and how visits work. This stops problems later.

12. What if my ex doesn’t follow the long distance visit plan?
You can go back to court. The court can make your ex follow the order, like making them pay money or giving you extra visit time.

If you have questions about child care or if your ex lives out of state, we can help.
Call or text us at (248) 590-6600 for a free talk.

Visit ChooseGoldman.com for more info.