Navigating Custody Modifications: Summer Plans and Memorial Day Tips – ChooseGoldman.com


When school is out, life changes for kids and parents. Figuring out the schedule for summer trips and holidays can be hard. This guide helps parents understand how plans for time with the child might change during the summer in Michigan.

Does Summer Break Mean We Change the Child’s Living Plan?

Understanding Court Plans: Judges know that summer happens every year. When they make a plan for where a child lives most of the time, they think about summer break. The kids being off school is usually not a reason by itself to change the main living plan.

What Court Papers Usually Say: Most court papers about the child’s living plan already include rules for summer. These plans are made knowing that summer gives more chances to travel and do different things. So, the summer schedule itself doesn’t often lead to a big change in who the child lives with.

Reasons Plans Don’t Change Much:

  • Judges Expect Summer: Courts know summer break is a normal part of the year.
  • Plans Cover Summer: Most court papers already have rules for the summer months.
  • Big Changes Need Big Reasons: Changing the main living plan needs more than just the school year ending.

When a Change Might Happen:

  • Something Big Changes: A parent moves far away or can no longer care for the child well.
  • Safety Worries: The child is not safe in one home.
  • Child Needs Something New: The child has new health or school needs that one parent can meet better.

Example Scenario: Lisa and Tom share time with their son. When summer came, Lisa wanted their son to live with her full-time just for the summer because she had more time off work. The judge said no because their current court paper already covered summer weeks, and nothing else big had changed.

Can We Change the Schedule for Time with the Child in Summer?

When Plans Are Not Clear: Sometimes court papers only say parents will have “”fair time”” with the child. This can be confusing during summer’s long break. What seemed fair during the school year might not work for 12 weeks of summer.

Going to Court for Clarity: If the court paper isn’t clear about the summer schedule, and parents can’t agree, they might need help. A judge can help decide what “”fair time”” means for the summer weeks. This can give everyone a clear plan to follow. You can learn more about Parenting Time in Michigan on our site.

Why Define Summer Time:

  • Avoid Fights: Clear schedules stop arguments about who gets the kids when.
  • Kids Need Routine: Knowing the plan helps kids feel secure during the break.
  • Parents Can Plan: Clear dates let parents book trips or camps without worry.

Steps if You Disagree:

  • Talk First: Try to work out a summer schedule together before asking the court.
  • Use a Helper: Sometimes a neutral person can help parents agree.
  • Ask the Court: If talking doesn’t work, file papers to ask a judge for a clear schedule.

Example Scenario: Mark’s court paper said “”fair time.”” During school, he saw his kids every other weekend. In summer, he wanted two full weeks, but the other parent disagreed. They couldn’t work it out, so Mark asked the court to make a specific summer schedule.

What Does “Reasonable Time” Mean for Summer Schedules?

School Year vs. Summer: During the school year, “”fair time”” might mean weekends and maybe one night a week. The focus is on school nights and getting homework done. Getting kids to bed on time is key.

Summer Differences: Summer is different. There are about 12 weeks with no school. Parents often have vacation plans, and kids might go to camps. What’s “fair” needs to fit this new, open schedule.

Things Considered “Fair” in Summer:

  • Longer Visits: Kids might spend a week or two straight with one parent.
  • Vacation Time: Each parent usually gets some time for a trip with the kids.
  • Shared Camp Costs: Parents might split the cost of summer camps or activities.

How to Decide What’s Fair:

  • Look at the Child’s Age: Younger kids might need shorter, more frequent visits.
  • Consider Parents’ Work: Work schedules affect when parents are free.
  • Think About Travel: How far apart do the parents live?

Example Scenario: Sarah and Ben’s plan said “”fair time.”” For summer, they agreed “”fair”” meant splitting the 12 weeks. Each parent got six weeks, broken into two-week blocks, so the kids didn’t go too long without seeing either parent.

How Do Holidays Like Memorial Day or Labor Day Fit In?

Special Holiday Rules: Summer has holidays like Memorial Day, Fourth of July, and Labor Day. Court papers often have special rules just for these days. These rules decide which parent gets the child on the holiday itself.

Holiday Rules Beat Regular Schedules: What if a holiday falls on your regular weekend? Usually, the special holiday rule wins. If the court paper says Dad gets Labor Day this year, he likely gets the child for the holiday, even if it’s Mom’s weekend according to the normal rotation.

Common Holiday Plans:

  • Alternating Years: Parents often switch holidays each year (Mom gets Memorial Day in odd years, Dad in even years).
  • Splitting the Day: Sometimes parents split the holiday, like one gets the morning, the other gets the afternoon.
  • Fixed Holidays: Some plans might always give Mother’s Day to Mom and Father’s Day to Dad.

Why Holiday Rules Win:

  • Court Orders are Clear: Judges make specific holiday rules to avoid confusion.
  • Special Days Matter: Holidays are unique times families want to share.
  • It’s Written Down: The court paper is the final word if parents disagree.

Example Scenario: It was Amy’s turn to have the kids for the weekend, but Monday was Labor Day. Their court paper said John gets Labor Day in even years, and this was an even year. John got the kids for Labor Day, overriding Amy’s regular weekend time for that Monday.

What If My Weekend and a Holiday Clash?

The General Rule: Most of the time, the holiday schedule is more important than the regular weekend schedule. If your court paper gives the other parent a specific holiday, they will likely have the child for that holiday time. This might mean your regular weekend gets cut short or changed.

Check Your Court Paper: Always look at your specific court paper. It should explain how holidays and regular weekends work together. If it’s not clear, you might need to ask for help to understand it or get it changed.

What Usually Happens:

  • Holiday Parent Gets the Time: The parent assigned the holiday in the court paper gets that specific time.
  • Regular Schedule Pauses: The normal weekend rotation might pause and then restart after the holiday.
  • Lost Time Isn’t Always Made Up: You might not automatically get extra time if a holiday takes away from your weekend.

Tips for Handling Clashes:

  • Read Your Plan Carefully: Know exactly what your court paper says about holidays.
  • Plan Ahead: Look at the calendar early to see which holidays might affect your weekends.
  • Talk to the Other Parent: Discuss upcoming holidays to make sure you both understand the plan.

Example Scenario: David was supposed to have his daughter Friday to Sunday. But the Fourth of July was on that Friday, and the court paper gave Friday July Fourth to his ex-wife, Maria. Maria had their daughter for the Fourth of July, and David’s time started later that day or on Saturday, depending on their exact plan.

Why Do Summer Plans Cause So Many Fights?

High Stakes and Hopes: Summer feels special. Parents want to make memories and take trips. When plans get ruined because of schedule mix-ups or disagreements, feelings get hurt easily.

Common Problems: Fights often happen over vacation dates, who pays for camps, or one parent feeling like they aren’t getting enough summer time. Someone might think they have the kids for a certain week, only to find out the other parent does. These issues can get worse quickly.

Reasons for Fights:

  • Unclear Plans: Vague court papers lead to different ideas about the schedule.
  • Poor Communication: Not talking early or clearly about plans causes problems.
  • Lack of Flexibility: Parents unwilling to bend or trade time can cause fights.

Impact of Fighting:

  • Stress for Kids: Children feel caught in the middle when parents argue.
  • Wasted Money: Canceled trips or lawyer fees cost money.
  • Damaged Co-Parenting: Fighting makes it harder to work together in the future.

Example Scenario: Two parents both booked non-refundable trips for the same week in July, assuming it was “”their week.”” Neither told the other first. This led to a big fight and needing lawyers to sort out the summer schedule based on their unclear court paper.

How Can We Avoid Fights About Summer Plans?

Talk Before Lawyers: Before things get really bad and you need lawyers or a judge, try hard to talk to the other parent. Sit down and look at the calendar together. See if you can work out a fair plan for everyone.

Be Willing to Trade: Maybe you thought you had Memorial Day this year, but you don’t. Instead of fighting, suggest a trade. Ask for it next year, or ask for a different weekend to make up for it. Being flexible can save a lot of trouble.

Ways to Work Together:

  • Plan Early: Discuss summer schedules months in advance, not at the last minute.
  • Use a Shared Calendar: Online tools can help keep track of who has the kids when.
  • Put Kids First: Focus on what works best for the children, not just winning.

Benefits of Working it Out:

  • Less Stress: Avoiding court saves time, money, and emotional pain.
  • Better for Kids: Children benefit when parents can solve problems peacefully.
  • Builds Goodwill: Being helpful now makes the other parent more likely to help you later.

Example Scenario: Both parents wanted the first week of August for vacation. Instead of arguing, they talked. One parent agreed to take the second week of August instead, and the other agreed to let them have an extra day on Labor Day weekend as a thank you.

Is It Good to Be Flexible with the Other Parent?

Think Long Term: Your children will be children for many years. There will be many more summers, holidays, and school breaks. There will be many times when you need the other parent to be flexible for you.

Helping Now Helps You Later: If you are helpful and willing to make small changes now, the other parent is more likely to return the favor later. Maybe you’ll need to switch a weekend for a wedding or ask for extra time for a family event. Being easygoing builds trust.

Why Flexibility Works:

  • Creates Teamwork: Shows you can work together for the kids.
  • Reduces Tension: Makes day-to-day co-parenting smoother.
  • Models Good Behavior: Teaches children how to compromise and solve problems.

When to Be Flexible:

  • Special Events: Family weddings, reunions, or birthdays.
  • Work Changes: Unexpected shifts or travel needs.
  • Child’s Activities: Important games, performances, or school events.

Example Scenario: Maria needed to switch her weekend because her sister was visiting from out of town. Even though it was Tom’s weekend, he agreed to swap. A few months later, Tom needed Maria to be flexible about pickup time due to a work meeting, and she readily agreed.

What If We Really Can’t Agree on a Change?

When Talking Fails: Sometimes, even with good effort, parents can’t agree on changing the schedule. If the change is needed and affects the child’s well-being or the current plan isn’t working, you might need outside help.

Getting Legal Help: If you can’t agree, a lawyer can explain your options. They might help you talk with the other parent or prepare papers for court. Understanding how to Change Child Care Arrangement in Michigan is important. A lawyer can guide you through the steps needed.

Options if You Disagree:

  • Mediation: A neutral helper guides discussion to find agreement.
  • Asking the Court: Filing papers to have a judge decide the issue.
  • Lawyer Negotiation: Lawyers for each parent might work out a deal.

What the Court Considers:

  • Child’s Best Interests: What plan is safest and best for the child’s growth?
  • Current Plan: Why isn’t the current schedule working?
  • Proposed Change: How would the new plan be better for the child?

Example Scenario: A child developed bad anxiety about switching homes every few days under the summer plan. One parent wanted longer blocks of time, but the other refused. After trying to talk, the parent seeking the change hired a lawyer to ask the court to approve a new schedule better suited to the child’s needs.

Where Can I Learn More About These Rules?

Watching Helpful Videos: Sometimes seeing someone explain these ideas helps. You can watch a video about Navigating Custody Modifications: Summer Plans and Memorial Day Tips to hear more details. Seeing the information presented can make it easier to grasp.

More Video Resources: There are other useful videos too. One asks, Can My Custody Agreement Specifically Change Over The Summer? Another discusses How Do You Modify Child Support Before Summer Expenses Hit? These can give answers to common questions.

Places to Find Information:

  • Law Firm Websites: Many firms offer free information guides and articles.
  • Michigan Legal Help: This website offers guides for people handling family law matters.
  • Friend of the Court: Your local FOC office may have resources or workshops.

Information You Might Find:

  • Sample Schedules: Examples of different holiday and summer plans.
  • Legal Guides: Step-by-step info on filing court papers.
  • Parenting Classes: Programs to help parents work together better.

Example Scenario: Before talking to her co-parent about the summer schedule, Jenna watched a few online videos about Michigan parenting time rules. This helped her understand what was typical and feel more prepared for their conversation.

Extra Insights

Focus on Communication: Good communication is key all year, but especially when schedules change for summer. Try to talk calmly and listen to the other parent’s view. Using email or parenting apps can help keep track of talks and reduce direct arguments.

Keep Detailed Records: Write down the schedule you agree on. Keep notes of any changes or issues that come up. Having records can be helpful if there are disagreements later or if you need to go back to court. Clear records prevent “”he said, she said”” problems.

Frequently Asked Questions:

1. Does summer automatically change our child care plan?

No, the start of summer itself usually doesn’t change the main plan for who the child lives with. Existing court papers often already account for summer break.

2. Can we change the time-sharing schedule just for summer?

Yes, if the current schedule isn’t detailed for summer or doesn’t work, parents can agree on a change or ask the court. This is more common than changing the main living plan.

3. What if our plan just says “fair time”?

If “fair time” isn’t defined for summer and you disagree, you may need to ask a judge to set a clear schedule. Try to agree first.

4. Do holiday rules override regular weekends?

Usually, yes. Specific holiday schedules listed in your court paper typically take priority over the normal weekend rotation.

5. What are common summer holidays in plans?

Memorial Day, Fourth of July, and Labor Day are often included. Plans might also cover longer school breaks.

6. What if we both want the same vacation week?

Try to talk and compromise early. If you can’t agree, check your court paper for rules or ask the court for help.

7. Should we put our summer plan in writing?

Yes, always write down any agreement you make, even if it’s just for the summer. This prevents confusion later.

8. Is being flexible really that important?

Yes, being willing to trade time or make small changes can build goodwill. It makes co-parenting easier in the long run.

9. What if the other parent won’t be flexible?

If you need a change for a good reason and the other parent refuses, you may need legal advice. A lawyer can explain your options.

10. Does fighting about schedules hurt the kids?

Yes, conflict between parents is stressful for children. Working together peacefully is always better for them.

11. Where can I get help understanding my court paper?

A family law attorney can review your paper and explain what it means. Some legal aid groups might also help.

12. Can we change the plan without going to court?

You can agree on small changes informally. But if you want a change to the official court paper (especially a specific schedule), you need a judge’s approval.

Need Help with Your Summer Schedule?: Figuring out summer plans and holidays can be tricky. If you have questions or can’t agree with the other parent, getting help is a good idea. Spending less time worrying about schedules means more quality time with your kids.

Contact Us: Reach out to Goldman and Associates for help. Our team understands Michigan family law and can guide you.

We focus on family law issues here in Michigan. Let us help you navigate these summer schedule challenges.