Parents often wonder if children can know what happiness means. Can they discern what’s good for them? The law dwells on facts. The letter and intent of the law may not support feelings. In Michigan, a child can say who they want to live within a custody case. That doesn’t mean they get to decide. The judge looks at many things before making a choice. There are a dozen important things the court thinks about. In the end, the judge picks what will give the child a safe and happy home, not just what they ask for.
Click here to watch the video Can I Request a Change In Custody Based on My Child’s Preference
The court may not have a formula to factor in your feelings. You can still trust the court to be fair to children. The court can often be too protective of the children. It shows in the current jurisprudence in Michigan custody cases. The court does listen but it listens under certain conditions. You can’t fault the court for not giving much weight to a child’s voice. You can’t also fault it for being overly protective. A child’s voice is not the sole deciding factor. It can still influence the court’s decision in some measure.
Does a Child’s Choice Decide Custody?
A child can share their choice. The court does not let them decide. The judge looks at many things. A child’s choice is only one part.
- A Child’s Opinion Matters but Doesn’t Decide Everything. A judge will listen if a child has a preference in a custody case, but that doesn’t mean the child gets to pick. The court looks at many things before making a final decision.
- Older Kids’ Opinions Carry More Weight. Judges take an older child’s opinion more seriously. Children at certain ages can better understand their situation. Younger children may not fully know what’s best for them. Their choice doesn’t count as much.
The Judge Looks at Many Things. A child’s opinion is important. The judge also considers:
- The parent with a stronger bond with the child
- One who can provide a safe and stable home
- How the move would affect school and friendships
- Whether there’s any history of harm or neglect
- The health and well-being of everyone involved
The Judge Decides What’s Best. A child may desire a life with one parent. The judge might still decide differently. The court will always lean on giving a child a safe and happy place to grow up.
A child will have a voice in court. The final decision is still about what gives them the best life. The court wants them to be safe. The court will always get them supported and surrounded by love.
When Will a Judge Listen to a Child?
A judge may listen when a child is 12 or older. The judge talks to the child alone. Parents do not hear what the child says in this talk. But the child’s choice is not the only thing the judge considers. Here are some insights about a child’s voice in a custody case:
The Judge Will Listen if the Child is Old Enough. A Michigan judge will listen to a child if they are old enough to share their thoughts. Kids who are 12 or older are more likely to have their opinions heard. Younger children may also be asked what they want, but their answers usually don’t have as much weight.
- Around 12 Years Old. The court mostly listens to kids who are 12 or older. They are old enough to understand. They can share their thoughts with more clarity.
- Younger Children. Sometimes younger children may also be heard. They must be deemed mature enough. The judge must believe their opinion matters.
The Judge Looks at How Well the Child Can Express Themselves. The judge will also think about how well the child can explain their choice. If the child can talk clearly and explain why they feel the way they do, the judge will pay more attention.
More Than Just the Child’s Opinion. The child’s choice is just one of many things the judge looks at to decide what’s best.
Is the Preference Real? The judge will check if the child’s choice is truly what they want. The judge will try to know if someone is influencing them.
The Judge Wants What’s Best for the Child. The child may have a very strong opinion. The judge will still decide based on what will keep them safe. It will still be on what makes them happy in the long run.
A child’s voice is important. The judge still has to make the final decision. It will be based on what’s best for their future.
Does the Judge Check If Someone Told the Child What to Say?
It’s undeniable that parents will be the first sources of influence for a child. When a divorce with children is filed, it tends to be contentious. Each party will be circling their wagons to fight for custody. Each one tries to influence the children to go with them. There will be a lot of rallying during parenting time. The judge looks for signs of coaching. A child must speak honestly. The court may not count a choice that is not real.
How the Judge Checks for Influence. Michigan, judges make sure a child’s opinion in a custody case is real. It should not be something they were told to say. They check to see if a parent or someone else has influenced the child’s choice.
- Watching for Signs. The judge looks at how the child acts and whether their answers make sense. If the child’s words seem rehearsed or change a lot, the judge may think someone coached them.
- Private Talks with the Child. The judge may speak to the child alone, without parents in the room. This helps the child share their true feelings without pressure.
- Listening to Others. The judge may also hear from teachers, therapists, or other adults who know the child’s situation. These people can help the court understand if the child’s opinion is their own.
The Judge Thinks About What’s Best for the Child
- Looking at Everything. The child’s opinion is important, but it’s only one part of the decision. The judge looks at many things to decide what is best.
- How Much It Matters. If the judge thinks someone told the child what to say, they may not give the opinion much weight.
We can’t blame parents for trying to coach their children. Most parents may think that’s the right thing to do. It’s important to talk to your attorney before you go all out with the coaching. The judge’s job is to find out what will give the child a safe and happy life. That’s why they take extra care to make sure the child’s voice is truly their own.
What Other Things Matter in Custody?
The judge looks at safety, school, and health. The child’s bond with parents matters too. The court chooses what helps the child the most. In Michigan, judges look at many things in a custody case. They take these things in deciding who should have custody. They want to make sure the child is safe. That they are happy and well cared for.
What the Judge Thinks About. We mentioned something about 12 factors earlier. There are a dozen things a judge needs to consider in a custody case. Here are 12 important things they consider:
- Love and Bonding. How close the child is to each parent.
- Care and Support. Which parent gives the child love, guidance, and support.
- Basic Needs. Who can provide food, clothes, medical care, and other necessities?
- Home Stability. How long the child has lived in a steady and safe home?
- Family Setup. Whether the child’s home feels like a strong and lasting family unit.
- Character. Whether each parent makes good choices and sets a good example.
- Health. The physical and mental health of both parents and the child.
- Daily Life. How well the child is doing at home, in school, and the community.
- Child’s Opinion. If the child is old enough, the judge may listen to what they want.
- Encouraging a Relationship. Whether a parent helps the child stay close to the other parent.
- Safety. If either parent has a history of abuse or violence.
- Other Important Details. Anything else that may affect the child’s well-being.
Every family is different. That should make it hard enough to evaluate. Add the different variations of a dozen factors. So the judge looks at all these things before making a decision. The judge is not going to rush the decision to accommodate the parents. The goal is to choose the best home for the child’s future.
Can Custody Change If a Child Wants It?
A child’s wish is not enough. A parent must show a good reason. The judge must see that the change helps the child.
- A Child’s Opinion Matters but Doesn’t Decide Everything. In Michigan, a child can share their feelings about custody. Their opinion alone won’t change the court’s decision. The judge will listen. The child must be old enough. That is usually around 12 or older. Many other things are also considered.
- The Judge Looks for a Good Reason to Change Custody. The court already uses a dozen factors we already mentioned. The court still has a discretion to consider other things.
- Big Changes in the Child’s Life. Something major may happen in a child’s life. A parent decides to move far away. A parent may not be taking care of the child properly. In these scenarios, the judge may consider a change.
- Safety and Well-Being. The child may feel unsafe or unhappy in their current home. The judge will look into it.
- The Child’s Reasoning. The judge will check if the child’s request is based on real concerns. They’ll query if someone is influencing them.
How Will the Court Go About Finding Out? The child’s opinion matters. Still, the judge looks at everything to decide. The judge still has to be sure what will give the child the best life. The judge doesn’t decide based on only what the child wants. They also think about things like:
- Who the child is closest to
- Which home feels safe and stable
- Each parent’s health and ability to care for the child
Even if a child wants a change, the court makes the final decision. The judge looks at everything to make sure the child is in the best place for their happiness and safety.
How Does the Judge Make a Fair Choice?
The judge follows the law. They look at all the facts. They make the best choice for the child. They use a dozen factors we mentioned. A judge doesn’t pick a parent based on who asks first or who wants custody the most. They look at what will give the child the best life.
The Judge Looks at Many Things
- Love and care. Which parent gives the child the most love, support, and guidance?
- A safe and stable home. Where the child will have a steady and safe place to live.
- School and daily life. How custody affects the child’s school, friends, and routine.
- Teachers, doctors, or other adults who know the child may share helpful information.
- Health and safety. If either parent has a history of harm or can’t meet the child’s needs.
- The child’s opinion. If the child is old enough, the judge may ask what they want.
The Judge Tries to Be Fair
- The judge looks at everything together. One thing alone doesn’t decide the case.
- The most important goal is making sure the child is safe, happy, and in a good home.
The Judge Explains the Decision
- The judge carefully reviews all the facts before deciding.
- They explain their choice so everyone understands how they reached the decision.
Judges take their time to make sure they choose what is best for the child’s future. The goal is not to make one parent happy. It is to make sure the child is in the best place to grow, learn, and feel safe. The judge looks at everything carefully before making a choice.
How Long Would It Take to Change Custody?
It takes time. The judge reads papers. They listen to both parents. They decide what is best for the child. Changing custody is not an overnight thing. Some cases take a few months. Others can take a year or more. The time depends on a lot of different things. It could be because of how complicated the case is. Both parents may agree and save time.
Steps in the Process Followed by the Court
- Filing a Request. A parent is requesting the court to change custody.
- Serving the Other Parent. The other parent is served a copy of the request.
- Waiting for a Response. The other parent can agree or disagree with the change.
- Court Hearings. The judge may hold hearings to review the case.
- Gathering Evidence. The court looks at records, witnesses, and any new issues affecting the child.
- Final Decision. The judge makes a final ruling. You can bet it will be what is best for the child.
What Makes the Process Longer?
- Parents disagree. They often do. The court needs more time to decide.
- The case needs a lot of evidence. It needs school or medical records. These things may take longer to gather.
- Courts are busy. They always are. Some courts have long wait times for hearings.
- The judges may think more review is needed. They may order extra steps. It could be more interviews or evaluations.
Some cases move faster if both parents agree on the change. If they don’t, the court takes extra time. It ensures the right decision is made for the child. If you want to understand how court dates will affect your family law case, go read our article, “What Should You Know About Family Law Court Dates.”
Your Custody Hearing Is Approaching, Are You Ready?
A parent should gather papers. They should follow the court’s rules. A lawyer can help them understand what to do. Here are some steps to help you get ready for your custody hearing:
Know What to Expect
- Learn about how custody hearings work. Anticipate what the judge will think about.
- Talk to a lawyer. Find a good one who can help guide you. Give you advice.
Collect Important Papers
- Gather papers. You have your child’s school records and medical information. Find anything that shows you are involved in their life.
- Keep a record of any messages or emails between you and the other parent.
Get Your Evidence Ready
- Think about who can speak for you. Find teachers, family members, or friends to support you.
- Organize any proof. Gather those showing you can provide a stable. You can offer a loving home for your child.
Plan What You Want to Say
- Write down the main points. Matters you want to tell the judge. Focus on how your choice is best for your child.
- Practice saying it with clarity. Do it with confidence.
Your Child’s Needs Come First Always
- Talk about your plan. How it will meet your child’s emotional, educational, and physical needs.
- Show that you are ready and willing. Work with the other parent for your child’s sake.
Be Respectful
- Dress nicely. Talk respectfully to the judge.
- Stay calm. Be in control even if you disagree. There’s always something to disagree with. There’s always something the other parent says you won’t like.
Be Ready for Questions
- Be prepared for questions from the judge or the other parent’s lawyer.
- Answer honestly and keep your answers simple and clear.
Think About Mediation. Consider mediation as an option. This is where you and the other parent can work out an agreement. Do it before the hearing. This can save time and reduce fighting.
Get ready. Feel more confident at your hearing. Show the judge that you have your child’s best interest at heart. Provide the judge with the information needed to make the right decision. Your children at one point will want their voice to be heard. They may have their sentiments about your divorce. They may have preferences they haven’t expressed yet. The court would want to know that. The court will still use its process to decide. It will try to be fair. It would always be for the best of the child.
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