Even if you don’t live together, can you still gain custody? Yes, it is the answer. If you don’t live together, you can still acquire custody. The custody arrangement should, in the opinion of the court, take into account the parents’ circumstances. Parents can decide which seasons of the year are shared with their children. Can I get shared custody if my ex and I live in different states?
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The year will include times spent with Mom. Dad will be there for some of the year. You might not receive all 182 days annually for each. Mom will occasionally get extra days. Dad gets more, or. The court will probably approve of such agreements. Your parenting time is not something the courts want to get involved in. The court would prefer that you resolve it as parents.
What factors are considered for shared custody arrangement across state lines?
Parents start separate lives after divorce. When you say separate, it means having separate households. One parent relocates to the next county. It presents little challenges in parenting time. The shuttling every week can be a real labor of love for the children. Now one spouse decides to move out of the state. That will present a whole new level of challenges. Not to mention expenses. Courts are not going to restrict the movement of parents. Courts do intervene when you move the children. What factors does the court consider in the custody arrangements?
Parent-Child Relationship.
Michigan courts prefer that each parent spend an equal amount of time with children. It’s the ideal arrangement for parents. One parent can be more involved in the child’s life than the other. This can be very true if parents are unable to see each other often. The court looks into the following:
- How much time is spent with the child by each parent?
- What kind of time was spent with the child?
- What does the child prefer?
- How strong is the child’s emotional connection to the parent?
- Can parents communicate with one another about their kids?
Stability and Continuity.
Relocation can be a destabilizing moment for a child. Courts would prefer stability in a child’s life. Moving off-state may not be avoidable for some parents. Custody arrangements should factor in the current realities of parents. It must appreciate the adjustments necessary to keep the parent-child relationship. A parent who is able to keep the stability of a child’s life will be looked upon more favorably by the court. The parent must be able to keep conversations going between them. They must be able to talk candidly about their child. Some factors are taken into account when looking at continuity in a child’s life like:
- Current living arrangements.
- School.
- Community ties.
- Parent’s ability to provide continuity and stability.
Parental Cooperation.
The ability and willingness of both parents to cooperate. Facilitating a positive co-parenting relationship is crucial for successful shared custody arrangements. Distance has a way of dampening cooperation. For parents living in separate states, cooperating can be very difficult. Parents will have to overcome challenges. Their ability to get over them is a factor considered by the court. The court assesses this willingness by looking into the parents:
- History of communication and cooperation.
- Willingness to put the child’s needs first.
- Ability to resolve conflict in a constructive way.
Child’s Preferences.
The child may be mature enough to express preferences. Their wishes may be considered by the court. This is not the sole determining factor. The bond between the parents and the child matters. Stability and continuity are considered. Parental collaboration is another consideration the court will take into account. The court will put more weight on the child’s preference if the child is at least 12 years old. The preference of a child is not binding on the court. The court decides based on what is in their best interest. It is best to encourage an open discussion about it. You can approach it like this:
- Give your child the freedom to express their preferences. Resist the urge to shape your child’s preferences. The court disapproves of this. Let your child name the parent they would pick. Then, you can query why. Let them respond to things independently.
- Tell your child the truth. Inform them of the challenges posed by living in other states. Let them know that they might have to travel. They might have to be separated from both of their parents for a while.
- Give up something. You might not get the custody arrangements you desire. Make a decision that will benefit your child. Be prepared to sacrifice something.
- Consult a professional. Get your kid to talk to them. Permit the child to voice their opinions. At their own time and manner, at their own speed.
- A therapist can give your child the confidence to be open and honest.
Distance Between Residences.
The custody arrangement is significantly influenced by the separation of the parents. It may have an impact on how useful visitation schedules are. The parents are split between two states. Long distances must be traveled by a child. Travel costs are high. It takes a lot of time. A child’s life can be disrupted by a consistent travel schedule. Custody cannot be granted by the court. Advice for parents considering interstate custody.
- Keep the child’s needs in mind. the child’s age. Younger children may find it easier to travel than older children.
- Visitation times should be flexible. The distance between them is great. You might need to be accommodating with visitation schedules. For instance, you might need to schedule lengthier visits less frequently.
- Use technology to maintain relationships. You may be residing in different states. You can do it by texting and talking on the phone. Video chatting is also permissible.
- Get experts. You may be having trouble working out custody agreements. Create a plan that benefits both you and your child. With the help of a mediator or therapist, develop a plan.
Parent’s Ability to Help With Travel.
A child can have difficulties adjusting to the relocation of a parent. It can be disruptive if the child is used to seeing both parents. A parent may be unwilling to help. Maybe the other parent is unable to help because of financial limitations. Take these tips when you are seeking custody arrangements across state lines.
- Be honest with the court. Be straightforward about your ability to help with travel. The court needs to make an informed decision about custody arrangements.
- Use a travel service. Parents traveling outside of their home state might benefit from a variety of travel services. These services help plan the child’s activities, accommodations, and transportation.
- Schedules for visitation should be flexible. You might need to be flexible with visitation schedules if one parent is unable to assist with travel. You might need to arrange longer visits less frequently, for instance.
Parental Involvement.
The court wants to protect the parent-child relationship. The court is more likely to award custody to the parent more involved in the child’s life. We also mentioned here that the court will also consider the child’s preference. The court to support its decision will look into the important events in the child’s life. It will look at the history of caregiving responsibilities. You need to do these when seeking custody across states:
- Keep a record of your involvement with the child. Record every activity you engage in. Keep a record of your visits, calls, and emails. This will assist in demonstrating to the court your involvement in your child’s life.
- Get the child’s opinion. If they are old enough, ask them who they prefer to be with. Why? Never impose. Let the child express freely.
- Talk to your ex-spouse. Even if you are not on good terms. Talk about your child. It will be easier to co-parent the child even if you live in different states.
Parental Living Conditions.
The court would want to know the living conditions of the child. It means looking at the way the parents live. The court will get a glimpse of the safety of the house. It will check on the kid’s access to healthcare. The court will look into their education. The house’s general kid-friendliness will all be taken into consideration by the court.
How do you manage custody and parenting time when a parent is out of state?
It’s challenging for parents to work on custody and parenting time living in the same county. Imagine if one of you is in Michigan and the other is in New York. Your imagination of figuring out the parenting schedule should be mind-boggling enough. Add the shuttling to get to one state and then back. Think about what it will do to the physical and mental state of a child. You need to be creative. Collaborative. You can work things out starting with some insights here.
Open and Transparent Communication.
Establish a regular open channel of communication. You should have an accessible forum for discussion. A framework for decision-making. Without that, it is challenging to maintain connections. Try these suggestions to stay connected at all times.
- Be open. Be sincere about your child’s well-being. Even if they are not positive. It also means being forthright. Be honest about your needs. Open about emotions.
- Be considerate of one another’s time. Be considerate of one another’s privacy. Hold off on sending one another a ton of emails and SMS messages. Not relying on the other parent’s constant availability.
- Use communication technology that is accessible. Use social media and emails. Send messages. Do video calls and phone calls. Choose a communication tool that both of you can use.
- Be willing to compromise. You can disagree about the best way to raise your child. Negotiate. Find solutions that work for both of you.
Develop a Comprehensive Parenting Plan.
You must have a solid plan in place. Coordinate custody and parenting time between different states. It should outline the plans for getting there. It ought to cover vacations and special events. Consult a seasoned Michigan family law attorney. It must comply with the law. Adapted to the special requirements of your family. By doing this, it is made sure that both parents agree on the child’s upbringing. That the needs of the child are satisfied
Use Virtual Visitation.
Apps for video calling provide improved contact quality among families. Long-distance parents may now regularly spend time in person with their children. Technology is fostering ongoing communication and solid relationships. Parents and children can communicate with ease. They exchange accomplishments. Share joy. Revisit the events of the day or week. They can even see facial expressions as if they were in the same room.
Plan Efficient and Consistent Visitation.
Parents living in different states have one thing stacked against them. Distance and time. Managing visitation is difficult to get right. It is virtually impossible to be both efficient and consistent. It is time-consuming. It is expensive to travel between two homes. So here are a few things parents can do to plan a more consistent and efficient parenting time.
- Consider extended stays. Do not schedule frequent, brief visits. Plan longer stays instead throughout the summer or on holidays. For the child, this might be more advantageous. They can spend more time with the non-custodial parent as a result.
- Plan ahead. Parents should plan their trips far in advance. This guarantees they will get the required time off from work. They can purchase train or airplane tickets. This will make it easier to provide a smooth transition between parenting time.
- Be adaptable. Planned outcomes don’t always materialize. When it comes to visitation, parents ought to be accommodating. Conflicts in scheduling are unavoidable. To come up with a solution that works for everyone, parents should be prepared to collaborate.
Focus on the Child’s Best Interests.
Parents may live at great distances from one another. The best interests of the child should always come first. Both parents need to be adaptable. They ought to be prepared to change custody arrangements. Adjust visitation schedules as necessary. This may involve allowing for school functions. The encouragement of extracurricular activities. In the end, it all comes down to making sacrifices. In our blogs, we’ve stressed the importance of not ignoring this. putting the needs of the kids ahead of our own. Even in the thick of the mayhem, drama, and disputes, we must always keep an eye on the kids.
What jurisdiction issues are involved in a custody arrangement where parents are living in different states?
You’re in Michigan. Your ex-spouse is in New York. You have a disagreement about who should get custody of your child. You end up in court. Before you get to talk about filing the case, you need to know which court is going to hear and decide the case. You need to know who has jurisdiction. You are parents living in two different states. This means your case will be governed by the UCCJEA. UCCJEA stands for the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act. Your lawyer tells you the case is under the UCCJEA. This means your case is being heard because of any of the following issues:
Home State Jurisdiction.
The UCCJEA says that the “home state” has the primary jurisdiction. The child is less than six months old. The home state is where the child has lived since birth. Both parents may be living in different states. The state that qualifies as the child’s home state has jurisdiction. Custody matters are heard in the state most closely connected to the child’s life.
Modification Jurisdiction.
A parent moves to a different state. The move comes right after a judge issued the custody order. The other parent files a motion. The parent wants to change the custody arrangement. A question of jurisdiction to modify custody arises. The UCCJEA has guidelines for determining what state has jurisdiction in this case. This will be so unless the child and parents move away from that state. In such cases, the child’s new home state may assume modification jurisdiction.
Exclusive Continuing Jurisdiction.
A state established as a home state has jurisdiction. It retains “exclusive continuing jurisdiction” over custody matters. It is the home state that has the authority to modify the custody order. Unless certain conditions are met. The home state has exclusive continuing jurisdiction if parents are in different states. Any modification of the custody order will be pursued in that state. This provision prevents many states from making conflicting custody decisions.
Emergency Jurisdiction.
A state can exercise “emergency jurisdiction.” Even if it is not the child’s home state. Emergency jurisdiction allows a state to intervene in urgent cases. Cases where a child is facing imminent harm while one parent is in another state. Michigan may exercise emergency jurisdiction to protect the child’s well-being. Emergency jurisdiction is temporary. Limited to resolving immediate crises.
Parents can get custody even if they are in different states. The challenge will be in keeping parenting time that serves the interest of the child. It will be expensive. It is certainly time-consuming. The best strategy is to have a comprehensive parenting plan. Get the conversation going between parents about their child. Getting help if possible. Parents just need to be creative in managing their time. The courts can help but it would prefer to stay out of the arrangement as much as possible.
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