Stay away from fighting over spoons and knives during a tough divorce. In Michigan, it’s important to pick your battles in a divorce. The expense of legal representation in your divorce case will increase. It makes no sense to pay your attorney $300 to $400 to defend an item you bought at $69.95.
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Fight for a sentimental cause. Do not struggle for something you do not desire. There are more crucial issues. Your kids matter a lot. Don’t get into debates about things, especially ones you don’t care about. You can always buy something better with what you get later.
What skirmishes in divorce are not worth the money or time?
There are wars. There are battles. And there are skirmishes. Your divorce and your custody cases are your battles. The things you need to spend on and focus on are your battles. The trivial things you fret about are your skirmishes. Choose your battles. Avoid useless and unproductive skirmishes.
Avoid instigating a fight out of spite or out of the urge to take revenge. Stop stalling. Avoid reacting to the other party’s frivolous objections and motions. Let your attorney deal with all of it. Your attorney has probably his fair share of battles. And has probably seen all the variations of skirmishes.
Let’s take up the awfully hilarious to downright stupid skirmishes you can take. Here are some things or skirmishes you should not be spending too much time or resources fighting for.
Things belonging to your spouse.
For the sake of avoiding grief, one partner may hang onto something they are aware does not belong to them. Obstructionism may be as basic as holding onto your ex-spouse’s framed diploma. This may be out of your real or perceived role in your spouse earning it. Or your father-in-law’s collection of vinyl records. Do you need a judge to tell you they belong to your spouse? Really?
Very common furniture and fixtures.
It may be hard to believe. Sometimes a deadlock results from a worn-out old rocking chair. A rocking chair from the couple’s apartment in college. An old lampshade. A beat-up bicycle. Spouses don’t always approach arguments sensibly about generally available or outdated items. There are situations when an heirloom or antique is worth the effort.
Tools, equipment, and appliances.
A food processor. Even a set of precision tools can cause major problems during a divorce. Such goods are generally inexpensive and not particularly unique. Couples will turn the distribution of such things into a major argument. Fighting over this kind of ownership occurs more frequently than you might imagine. Maybe it’s a way of getting even with the partner who wanted the item in the first place. Or as an emotional response to a familiar thing.
Food
People do fight over food. Sometimes this is a genuine issue if money is tight. Oftentimes, this is just a front to keep irritating you. Perhaps it’s the caviar from last night’s party. It can be the thawed salmon for sushi. Or the truffles that cost $1200 per pound. Food can stir up strong feelings during certain divorces.
Wedding or old photographs
Reprints or digital storage seem easy enough solutions. The family photos are sometimes a sore point during talks. Pictures and other memories are contentious topics for some couples. It is so for sentimental reasons or to trash them.
Which car goes to whom.
Some might disagree. Some say that how the vehicles are divided is important and complicated. This issue frequently stems from a dispute between the parties. A disagreement about whether to lease or buy a certain mode of transportation. One or the other spouse is more interested in showing off their car. More important than trying to find a solution to their financial predicament. A lot of common sense frequently goes out the window.
Animals or pets.
Many would contend that these are not insignificant matters. Pointing to a close bond with furry family members adopted before the divorce. Some couples have vehement disagreements over who should have “custody” of the fish. Some are passionate about their reptiles like turtles, and snakes. As a result, several visiting plans have been created following these contentious talks.
Friends
The division of friends can use a lot of energy. Almost as much as property division. There is a rush of unfriending on Facebook during the proceedings. There’s even a skirmish on who can attend the upcoming college reunion. Arguing over friends is trivial since it involves other people. People who have the ability and willingness to make their own decisions. Divorced spouses can occasionally argue for hours over this pointless matter.
Email addresses.
A family’s shared email account has a nice or simple user name. Ownership of the name becomes a little problematic when the pair separates. It can often take a lot of skill to resolve the challenges. One or both partners may want to keep the name on the account for their own usage while denying the other access. One partner opens a separate account. The refusal of the other to change the name on the primary account may result in a problem. Such a technical issue will cost extra time and money to resolve.
Skirmishes may seem rather inconsequential, especially to outsiders. It can sometimes be handled more sensibly than the main difficulties couples encounter. Difficulties such as child custody, parenting time, support, and the house. These skirmishes can impede the divorce process. Increasing costs and delaying the final divorce order.
What is worth fighting for in divorce?
Some couples negotiate the parameters of their settlement agreement before filing for divorce. These couples can have an amicable divorce. They submit the settlement agreement to the court. Your attorneys will seek to negotiate a divorce settlement agreement throughout the process.
Your attorneys focused on what outcomes matter in a divorce. So should you.
These are the things you should be fighting for in your divorce case.
Your bond with your children.
We constantly remind clients against this. When they are drafting a divorce settlement agreement. They often say they don’t want a comprehensive parenting-time plan. They believe they can be reasonable and can work together. It does not always follow that you will always get along or that your divorce will be amicable. Even when there is a specific timetable, parenting-time disputes are very common.
You should have a thorough parenting schedule in place. Such efforts prevent problems in the future. This is in both your best interest and, more importantly, the best interest of the children. It is crucial to request this parenting time arrangement in a divorce settlement. Custody arrangements and parenting time should be in place. There won’t be a concern about fairness. Or who has the children on a specific holiday? You should also include a comprehensive holiday schedule in your agreement.
Your quality of life and your children.
To keep the quality of your life and your children, you need to have a viable financial position. The parties will exchange both alimony and child support. Your divorce settlement agreement should include explicit information outlining these clauses. Everyone must be aware of their responsibilities. You have to disclose your current salaries and the incomes determining support. Mention the amount of alimony paid each month, the date it is being paid, and how long it will be paid. Even a limited-term obligation should be mentioned in relation to alimony. Your settlement must also state reasons why alimony would end. It could be the passing of either partner or the remarriage of the spouse receiving support.
Your right to life and health.
Make sure to add a clause in your divorce settlement agreement about insurance. You need your spouse paying support to maintain life insurance. It should be in an amount enough to cover his or her responsibility prescribe in alimony. The beneficiary of the policy should be the other spouse. If your spouse passes away after your divorce, this will safeguard your finances. It will guarantee that you will continue to receive money. An amount to assist in supporting the children and/or yourself.
Your personal resources and share of the marital assets.
If you’re like most families, the marital home might be the only major asset. After the divorce is finalized, the ex-spouses may opt to have the marital home sold. One of the parties may have since moved out. In a divorce settlement, information about the sale of the house will help the process. You can specify that it must be put on the market and remain there until it sells within 30 days of the divorce. Some people go even further and list the specific offers that are acceptable.
Make sure to include a complete list of the parties’ retirement assets. Give specifics on how to divide these assets or who will keep each item. Check the division of many retirement accounts, including 401(k)s and pensions. An appropriate domestic relations order (QDRO) is necessary. Include a clause stating who will be responsible for paying the completed QDRO. You can roll over your IRA distribution if you’re splitting one. You ought to give this a timeline for when this should happen.
What is the vision you shared with your attorney about your divorce?
Your vision should be how to finish your divorce in the most productive way. Embrace the reality you will not get everything in the most ideal circumstance. You can have a broad vision but you need to focus on the most essential first. The following should be part of your vision:
[ a ] The distribution of your assets and the responsibilities for paying off your debts. Including how you’ll manage your family home.
[ b ] How much, for how long, and if either of you will pay alimony or spousal support?
[ c ] Child custody arrangements and child support obligations. A parenting schedule. Important if you and your partner share custody of minor or dependent children.
Before submitting a divorce petition, talk about and resolve your most important issues. The court will view your divorce as uncontested if you can resolve and agree on these issues.
Now link these essentials to other parts of your vision. Like your happiness. Your peace of mind. Or your personal growth.
While going through a divorce, there are several things you may do to protect yourself. Before anything else, it’s critical to comprehend your rights. What you’re entitled to. After that, armed with more information, you can decide on the conditions of your divorce.
It’s also essential to have realistic expectations. Be practical about how your divorce will play out. It’s doubtful that the divorce will turn out exactly the way you want. Focus your attention on your top priorities. In embracing the realities of what you can have, be willing to make concessions on everything else.
Why are you fighting over spoons and knives? There’s a battle bigger than your plate. Bigger even than the dining table or the dining room. You have a whole life ahead of you after divorce.
That should be worth fighting over.
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Goldman & Associates Law Firm is here to with information about Child Custody and Divorce in the State of Michigan.